If you have been married for a longer period of time, you have surely encountered various problems in your marriage. Today we are here to present you with the most common marriage problems that are faced by senior couples.
Have you ever wondered why married life can be so tough from time to time? If you did, you should be aware of the most common marriage problems, why they arise, and how to overcome them.
Once you have understood all of these things, your married life will be happier, and your communication with your spouse will improve.
So, read on and tell us if you have ever faced any of the following challenges. Are you ready to find out how to solve these marriage problems?
1. Infidelity
Cheating is definitely one of the most common marriage problems, and if you think that seniors don’t need to deal with it, you would be surprised by the statistics. Cheating is common in senior couples, and many times the spouses don’t know how to manage something like this.
Infidelity can occur for many reasons, but a few of them can be the lack of intimacy, emotional, and physical. This is absolutely one of the main reasons people choose to cheat on their long-term plans. They don’t feel connected anymore, and they search for this connection in other people.
When the bond between you and your partner is weak, infidelity can occur, which can slowly erode trust. According to research, the three most effective strategies to prevent infidelity in a relationship are to establish a solid emotional connection, engage in physical intimacy, and respect boundaries.
2. Boredom
After you’ve been married for longer than 25 years, boredom is not something that unusual. People love to be mentally stimulated, and living together with the same person for such a long time can become a problem for many couples.
As one of the most common marriage problems, you need to understand what triggers this boredom. Sometimes the marriage becomes so predictable that you might feel like you are feeling the same day over and over again. This might feel tiring for a lot of people.
You might also feel like that spark is not there anymore, and this can become a real dealbreaker. If we look at this from a different perspective, “the spark” can be easily rekindled by doing some activities that you might consider random from time to time.
Try surprising your spouse with a gift or traveling spontaneously to a new, unexplored destination. This can truly help your relationship transform and push the boredom away.
3. Financial issues
When looking at the most common marriage problem, this is for sure a big one, and we believe that most couples have had to battle with this at some point or another. There are some people out there who say that nothing can break a marriage faster than money, and we tend to agree with them.
When you are struggling to make ends meet by the end of the month, it is not that easy to also have a happy marriage. And even if you have a joint account or are keeping track of your finances separately, money problems make their way into the lives of almost any couple.
Couples should carefully explore these issues because finances may be a touchy subject. Create a strategy that satisfies your mutual financial objectives. Also, if someone wanders from the plan, make an effort to ensure that their reasoning is fully explained, so you both can find the best way to deal with the issue.
4. Traumatic events
Whenever a couple has to go through a traumatic event, their marriage will be challenged. These kinds of events change the people who are involved, and many times they don’t know how to deal with something like this.
Some of the traumatic events we talk about include the death of someone we love, natural disasters, and various accidents. We don’t expect these things to happen, and when they do, they hit us hard.
After suffering an event like this, one of the spouses can become depressed, and the other might not know what to do about it. They might feel that they should live now beside a person they can no longer recognize. This can be frustrating, and this is how conflict is born.
The trouble caused by traumatic events is actually one of the most common marriage problems, and since so many couples are challenged by it, we are here to tell you how to overcome it.
It might sound easy to do, but many times it can be more complicated than it looks. Just take a break. Yes, taking a break is advised, and you don’t need to feel selfish about it. Also, don’t hesitate to seek support from a therapist. They can help you and give you the tools you need to overcome this challenge.
5. Keeping score
Your marriage is not a race! You don’t need to keep score for anything. Your marriage should be a safe space where you and your spouse can express themselves freely and find the most understanding from one another.
This is one of the most common marriage issues, especially for older couples who have spent a life together. Maybe you keep track of the fights you “won,” or maybe you keep track of all the things you have done for your spouse. In a happy and well-balanced marriage, such things should not exist.
The foundation of an unhealthy relationship can be laid by keeping score of fights won and lost inside a relationship. It would fuel hatred and make you always desire to settle the score. The focus shifts from supporting one another to gaining the upper hand.
Try not to keep track of everything and instead try to make a team with your partner and work together towards a common goal.
6. Not respecting boundaries
This is a problem that is found in any marriage, but we can easily say that it is one of the most common marriage problems for senior couples. Acknowledging and respecting the boundaries of your partner is something that many of us learn over time, but if neither partner is willing to take this step, they will end up in a marriage where boundaries are not respected.
Let’s say that you are in a relationship with someone, and you notice that they are not the best at respecting your limits. If you realize that this happens and you tell them, this can help you both, and in the end, you might learn what your boundaries are.
But if you never tell them about your limits, they will keep breaking your boundaries, and after many years of marriage, things will just get worse. It is easier to solve this problem from the beginning, and if you don’t do this when the time comes and you both are older, the chances of something changing are pretty low.
The best thing you can do is discuss your boundaries. Tell them if you want to go out with your friends once a week. Explain to them the concept of boundaries and give them time to change. Healthy boundaries are extremely important. Keep in mind that you should respect their boundaries too.
If you want to learn more about boundaries, this mood might be a good start: Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No, To Take Control of Your Life
You should also read: Is Your Spouse Hiding Something from You? Here Are 5 Signs!
One Response
I have been married to a very controlling man which has caused me to be very unhappy and my health is rarely considered or realized by him. He helps but always equates my problems when I tell him that he has that too. He says that I use it as an excuse but yet says I “know you have pain”.
Counseling and support groups help but it is getting so tiresome. I was told to leave him and I can’t because everyone including my daughter thinks he is wonderful but she has the same controlling personality but understands that she does not live with him. I vacate to the far corner of our house
and read. I use to paint and was good I am told because I had a gallery and sold a lot. I have made some good investments which he knows and realizes that my aggressive style and his most conservative style is what the advisers say is best diversify your holdings. But he never gives me a complement or says good job which what I never have had my entire 78 years as well as a a child with my older the normal parents. It was not something to do because your child will become arrogant and conceited. So contemplating after 42 years on making my life better and leaving. It is scary and
doing a better job of being the good wife which he swept me off my feet but the signs were there I just did not heed them. I try to advise my granddaughters of the signs but of course they are not
as with my daughter as open to accept that he is the problem. He can be so charming if he wants something. If in a relationship you feel your not free to say what you need to say to have peace get out. Not being heard or valued and made to feel you are less than him GET OUT!