Insecurity
We’ve mentioned this word a lot throughout our article. But it’s a big one! The saddest part of a cheater’s nature is that they frequently carry emotional baggage from their past.
Many people who struggle with infidelity were emotionally abused at some point when they were younger. It could be that they were ignored or lacked attention growing up. It could also be the case that their own parents were in toxic relationships.
They’re usually emotionally dependent on their spouse or significant other. The very thing they wish for most in life is the thing that pushes them to cheat in the first place. At the root of it all, it’s their fear of being alone that’s driving them to need a backup plan.
They feel the need to be sure that someone is always around for them.
In fact, if you happen to be in a relationship with someone like this, you might feel like your significant other’s emotional dependence on you is so strong that they would never risk losing you by stepping out on your relationship.
But sadly, the catch here is that their insecurity is so intense that they need to have affairs to make sure that they never feel insignificant.
As shocking as all these indicators may sound, you might want to consider the signs of a cheater if you find yourself going through our list and seeing a pattern.
And for some more great advice and tips, we also recommend you read: Are You in a Loveless Marriage? Here Are 6 Possible Red Flags
27 Responses
I guess I’m lucky. Happily married for over 50 years! We just met and 6 weeks later married!
Excellent article. All so true. Thanks
Wow! This describes to a T the relationship that just blew up on January 1st….I will definitely have my eyes open next time around!
Wow this is definitely true! This is my ex husband to a T. If someone is in a relationship with someone like this….RUN!!!!
Experts say to do the same thing with socialpaths. Look up the characteristics.
I was with a partner like this for 16 years. Everything in this article is spot on and I recognized how damaged I was to put up with it. I finally left even though they wanted me to stay. I asked them what exactly it was that they loved about me. They could not give me tangible answers after 16 years. I was broken and I was foolish to live in fear. Life is much better now! Make the choice to be happy…it’s worth it ;o)
Wow Scott I’m sad to hear this, I’ve been in it 6 years, tried to do counseling, the therapist asked her tell me 1 good thing you like or love about him. She replies there is Nothing good about him at all. When I was later told separately the therapist was in shock didn’t have words for me. I know what it feels like to be married to a narcissist, they can’t be happy unless they drag you to the very bottom and that’s not even low enough.
I have to agree with you! I have been married for 39 years tomorrow. In early November I told my husband we needed a long separation. We have two houses so I told him I would live in the newer one. For the past 15- to- 20 years I was very unhappy but stayed out of fear of not having enough money to live on my own. I was wrong! Well so far anyway. He didn’t love me and doesn’t love me, but stayed together with me because he knows or thinks I can hurt him financially. I knew he was cheating because my gut wouldn’t stop turning and he started flipping his screens on his phone when I entered the room. The dumb ass fumbled at first & didn’t know how to do it without being so obvious. Funny thing is, I wouldn’t have ever looked his phone until he started flipping the screen. But I started noticing many changes in his behavior & attitude toward me. He treated me with absolutely no respect. I have always treated him with nothing but respect. He stopped engaging with me all together. If I touched him at all while sleeping he turned into a dead man. He became cold and stiff. He used to react every time when touched. I found things on the computer and on his iPhone. There were so many things he did and denied everything or would clam up and walk out of the room! Finally I heard him talking behind my back with my daughter. I hate liars & backstabbers! It was the last straw! Without giving you the long boring story, all I have to say is…it’s been the best thing I could have ever done!!! 20 thousand pounds of cement has been lifted from my shoulders! My next step is divorce. He won’t be happy because he will have to split his precious money with me. Oh well…
Scorpio are notorious and they have their set if ethics that require no scruples whatsoever.
I’m a Scorpio female and I totally disagree.
Pretty negative to generalize like that. I don’t think the date a person was born makes despicable.
Funny you would say this . My husband is a Scorpio as well. You are SPOT ON! Double standards, very secretive & thinks he’s superior to almost everyone! He’s not! Lol
All cheaters r liars– deceitful and immoral maldoers: rotten apples to the core 😈
Well put!!!
This is so true. I’m in this situation right now almost 8 years. It sucks so bad, everyday at lunch he accuses me of having someone here. When he comes in from work same. Starts with who was here, then he lies and says so and so drove by I know someone was here. But truly no one was. I don’t have any friends really because of him. Its hard to talk to my kids because he’s in the background screaming that I’m on the phone with my boyfriend (that I don’t have).ect…. ect…. ect…
Why are you still with him?
Run don’t walk my husband does this too leave him now!!!!!
Hello! My name is Gary Harvest from Virginia. The reason why I, am writing this email letter today-!! My fiancé had passed away back in May of 2018! The cause of death was ovarian cancer! Her name was Reverend Dorothy! We met back in the year of 2000! (The week of Valentines Day) And we had a magical and loving relationship of eighteen years together!! All the way up to her passing away-!! The main reason why I’m requestion an answer from you! If you believe in karma? Because this may sound kind of silly to say this? During the hardest times of our relationship! I was not very faithful in our relationship!! And there were times when Rev. Dorothy was here at home and waiting faithfully for me to come home after work!! I was out flirting and chatting with these young girls in the retail grocery stores that I had merchandised in (Stock Clerk) To this day, my grieving and depression-!!!! Has caused me to have such a regret of blaming myself-!! And not forgiving myself for cheating-!!!! Please, tell me is this karma of getting paid back of feeling so terribly ashamed of myself? And also having a hard time of going out and searching for true love-!! Due to the fact, that I had cheated-!! And was not very faithful to my loving and faithful Reverend Dorothy-!! I even feel like my cheating was the results that had caused her to worry over me that maybe, somehow-?? I had caused her to have this ovarian cancer and passing away-?? Please, tell me what I’m really feeling is true or false-? (Thank-you) Sincerely yours, Gary Harvest. From Windsor, Virginia. PS. I miss Rev. Dorothy so much!!
Gary.. The Bible Says your conscious accusses you or excuses you! And it looks like your conscious is accusing you and convicting you of all the DIRTH u did not repent from!!
U cheated bc you was in wrong standing with Yah!! U must follow the statues Commandments and laws!! 100%.. or else you will continue to fail!!
When u follow the commandments statues and Laws…it helps you to maintain your AWARENESS!!
What is sin? Transgression of the Law? U transgressed the Law of Marriage
Ask yourself what did you get out of it? Was it worth it?
Now u r a widow and you can marry again but this time around u should have learned a lesson!! Correct?
I can expand on this….recently I had a friend from bible study group who seemed friendly and personable enough that I trusted her to get closer as friends but felt as we were both married and in a depression I needed to trust in christ to lead….next meeting she was hands on and I was unsure how to receive the attention bc it felt good. I trusted in christ and another friend finally asked what was going on. Then she finally revealed she was leaving her husband and wanted me. I chose to work on my marriage instead and said no. She doesn’t come around anymore and my wife and I are in a great place fixing our relationship. It’s not who you were that defines who you are, that is defined by how you respond now that you know your flaws accept them and forgive them but don’t let them rule you… . Give it to christ
Yes!! That’s what I did when I cheated on my boyfriend. Ha ha ha ha, good thing he didn’t see this article.
Looks like the wicked female left the lipstick on the collar deliberately.
Pretty negative to generalize like that. I don’t think the date a person was born makes despicable.
My ex-husband had the perfect set up for his cheating ways. He took a position which required him to travel both in the U.S. and abroad. To make a long story short after 14 years of marriage he left me & our 2 daughters (ages 2 & 9) for one of his flings. I was devastated. That lasted a couple of years and produced 2 more children. Then she left him, moved back to where she came from and left him nothing!! Karma is definitely a bitch!!
I wish I’d had this blue print before I wasted 24 years with a cheating ex husband. He had all these traits and I guess I was just in denial. I’m much happier now. Starting over is not the end of the world.
All of these 8 signs are traits of a person with narcissistic personality disorder.
Don’t hate them they can’t help what they are and there is no cure. Just leave and save yourself
from the emotional abuse they will inflict upon you. Keep in mind they don’t really care about you anyway. The only thing you will hurt is their EGO not their heart. Do yourself a favor and learn all you can about narcissism.
been marry to the same man for 51 years and we love each other just like it was yesterday.we never had kids just fur babys.if you don’t love someone the door opens both ways .its not locked get out if you don’t love them.don’t cheap just to hurt another person.beverly