Are you in a rebound relationship?

You’ve probably heard the popular saying “The best way to get over someone is to get under someone new” multiple times, and I couldn’t disagree with it more. If you’ve been in a long-term relationship and you broke up for whatever reason, you need time to process your feelings, to heal your broken heart, to mourn the relationship, and to make peace with the past.

It sounds cheesy, I know, but unless you take some time for yourself to analyze how you feel, both mentally and physically, jumping into a new relationship will only make you neglect and deny your feelings. And you know how intense and crazy everything is once all those emotions that were deeply buried somehow come to the surface.

Why do we jump into rebound relationships?

Most people aren’t keen on taking a healing break, especially if they feel like they haven’t lost much and are eager for new experiences. If you’re diving into a new relationship while still holding onto feelings from your past one, you might just be in a rebound. While it might not seem difficult for you to use someone as a rebound, if they use you for the same purpose, things change, don’t they?

A rebound relationship’ is a reactionary one that stems from the unresolved issues from a previous romantic partnership. You deny your feelings and your past experience, and you jump into someone else’s arms like nothing has ever happened. Long story short, it’s like the new person is a band-aid to cover your wounds.

I want us to discuss more about this topic, but as you can already tell, I don’t encourage them. So, without further ado, if you suspect that you might be in a rebound relationship but aren’t sure, here are all the signs to look for:

1. The ex is frequently mentioned

When someone is in a rebound relationship but won’t admit they’re hurt, the ex will probably be mentioned a lot when you get together. According to dating experts, although it shouldn’t come as a shock, it’s nevertheless important to remember that a person’s level of over-awareness and the amount of time, effort, and attention they devote to their ex are directly correlated.

Of course, briefing each other on previous relationships and patterns is a natural and healthy component of a new relationship, but you don’t need to know about someone’s ex’s daily routine, favorite intimate positions, pet peeves, or dietary choices. If you or your current partner keep talking about the past people you were romantically involved with, it’s a clear sign there’s some unhealed trauma there, so pay close attention because things might be boiling up.

2. Everything is superficial

Consider your chats outside of the wonderful time you share in the bedroom. When you’re in a rebound relationship, the conversations tend to be kept at the surface. One of the partners typically doesn’t have any interest in learning the other’s middle name, anything about the other’s early years, or any difficult situations.

They tend to focus on topics that don’t require much compassion, care, or vulnerability. To keep things from getting too intense, try concentrating on lighter subjects like music, movies, and fun, intimate moments. Is that what you really want? Just think about it, because someone could get hurt sooner or later.

3. The distance between relationships wasn’t that long

The length of time it takes to move on from a previous relationship is a topic of much discussion, and everyone is different. There are several theories on how long it takes to heal from a breakup: three weeks, six weeks, three months, and, of course, another popular formula that says that it should take half the relationship’s duration.

Some people need less time because they grieve the loss of a relationship before it ends. Others, on the other hand, are caught off guard and don’t give it much thought. In the end, there’s no secret sauce, but it’s important to take some time to process the breakup and think about who you are and what you’re looking for in a partner. If your new crush broke up with their partner a week ago and now they’re all lovey-dovey with you, it might only be a rebound relationship, so pay attention.

4. There’s bitterness in your romance

When two people are in a rebound relationship, there might be several moments of bitterness. Even if your connection is mostly based on the wonderful moments you share between the sheets, the feelings for the past relationship are still there, which means that they can appear at any second.

Someone’s ex might be mentioned all of a sudden, and your partner might be moody, critical, constantly angry, or dissatisfied. You feel like they’re hostile and they aren’t involved in the romantic connection you have. That’s true; they’re not. This is only a rebound relationship for them.

5. You feel used

If they’re always posting photos of you on social media and it feels like things are moving too quickly, it might seem like they’re more interested in showing you off than in genuinely connecting with you. Moreover, they might have plenty of time to spend in bed with you yet struggle to fit you into their schedule to go out to dinner.

When you’re someone’s rebound, you generally don’t want other people to think that you’re committed to someone else, so you prefer to keep things low-key. With that in mind, if you feel like you’re being used, it might be because they only hang out with you. After all, this is their rebound relationship.

6. There’s no emotion

Another sign you’re only someone’s rebound is this: they’re never emotionally available for you. Since they’re not looking for a special connection and they only want to forget about their past relationship by engaging in some hot stuff with you, they’re not interested in being all in.

This means that you shouldn’t expect them to be there for you when you need them, and you’re probably not going to be confidants. Moreover, they won’t share personal things with you because it’s easier to keep things to the surface.

The bottom line

Rebounding relationships don’t always have to be harmful. If all you want to do is have fun, not care about commitments, and have mind-blowing intimacy, this could be a terrific setting for you. Dating someone on the rebound can be ideal for you if you’re at a point in your life when you don’t want to be in a long-term relationship or have any obligations.

However, this is not the right choice if you’re searching for a long-term companion or a deep relationship that might last for a while. Whatever you decide to do, don’t forget that rebound relationships can involve push-pull dynamics and abandonment anxiety; they can resemble a roller coaster. If you choose to be someone’s rebound or use someone for this purpose, make sure the limits are set in the first place so that you prevent somebody from getting heartbroken.

If you want to have fun when dating and spice things up a bit, whether you’re single, in a rebound relationship, or happily married, this is a fun and flirty game to try. If you want to read something else from Detangle Love, here’s a good post for you: Infidelity: 5 Signs Your Spouse Is Emotionally Involved With Someone Else