When you married the love of your life, you were aware of the fact that the love you shared might fluctuate at times. However, you probably didn’t expect to watch his romantic feelings slowly dying, much less to be received with indifference and even hostility.
This hostility might not be so constant, but as time goes by, he leaves you with a certain heaviness in your heart, and the growing conviction that he hates you. Naturally, you become confused and hurt. In fact, a small part of you really wishes for it to be just in your imagination as if you’re reading too much into his behavior. But ARE you? Here are a couple of red flags you should watch out for:
48 Responses
When it comes to marrage it is a 2 way street. Good communication from both sides is what it takes . I can tell that an upset woman wrote all of the comments , The guy is at fault in all of them .
and most of the time, the guy is mostly at fault.
That’s a crap statement. I just got my third divorce, I caught them cheating. I was faithful to three women that ripped my life apart. Women have an equal share.
Either you have bad taste in women or you were the problem
I would be thinking about what they were missing and felt the need to cheat. Its obvious something was lacking, conversation, laughing, interests, physical touch, comforting, respect etc. People in general I don’t think just go out and have an affair just to do it, something is missing.
So true it’s that something is missing. How about orgasm?
Many times we men are sexually selfish. Men, care enough about your wife to make sure that she is sexually satisfied first, before you are. Explore her body to find all the spots that stimulate her. She wants you to do that. You will not be disappointed.
My ex cheated on me five times all five times I caught her all five times she asked me not to leave finally when I suspected it for a sixth time I asked her why and she told me the five times I cheated on you I thought it was the easiest way to get rid of you but you never got the hint so I said it goes without saying that you don’t want to work on our marriage she laughed so hard I thought she was having a stroke when she finally stopped she said only you would ask that question.
Like I said she’s my ex wife but I guess I needed the proverbial ton of bricks to finally see it was over
You were the reason 3 different women cheated! Why and what made them cheat? You did
Facts big guy! Every woman I treat good and be faithful to ALWAYS cheat on me and leave! They always put the blame on me as well! I think 80% of all women will cheat. Sucks but it’s what they do
But it’s not always the husband’s fault! What are you supposed to do when she says that she hates you??? In a 24 year marriage, especially the last 7 years, I have been told directly by her that she hated me seveal times and mentioned divorce even in front of our kids. Yet I keep trying to hold on to our marriage!!! How is it my fault???
yeah thats a noooo a big no. women are as much at fault as men sometimes more
Exactly, because women can’t do wrong. They’re put in tiaras when they deserve thorns in most cases and are so spoiled by society they have no understanding of being responsible or holding themselves accountable.
True, it is written from a woman’s perspective. However if you substitute pronouns it applies to male and female partners, alike. Your main point that communication is a two way street is key. The relationship can’t work once one person shuts down. It is a horrible feeling when you become the one who is shut out.
This is written with the man being the one demonstrating the hate. we have been married 52 years and it is my wife that is showing signs of hate in the past year. Re-write this with the female being the hater.
Amen. Its not always us guys
You got that right. Women always act like Angels. A couple of years after marriage, their horns start coming out. They stop loving you and start loving money. They leave you for the rich man. Years later they send you the apology letter and want you to take them back. No way!!!. This is karma teaching them a hard lesson.
Gary
I will agree with you.
And I was a wife to a heartbreak divorce.
But women can be the cruelest and meanest spouses !
Exactly
Could it be the resentments of the past 52 years have built up and your wife have had enough. What have you contributed to your wife’s emotions the past 52 years that makes her feel this way? 52 years and she’s still with you, how about asking yourself what are you doing or not to help the situation?
This was my husband and my marriage. Every detail. Finally divorced but financially and professionally devastated. Never recovered. You young women, don’t let this happen to you.
This was my 23 year marriage also. I gave everything and resigned from my good paying position. Then to find out the real reason he had me resign from my position was because he thought I would leave him for someone smarter, worldly, better than he was to me. His problem was his continuous cheating. He took all the assets and left me with no money to survive. Also walked away from his (2) adult children when they needed him the most. I ended up paying for the majority of their college and living expenses. And he gave me all the debt it took to buy his toys. I am happier than I have ever been! I live a poor life but I’m free and don’t walk on eggshells anymore.
Well good you got out of that I’m going through the same thing now wanting out. 22 years of hell.
These behaviors are not always the husband. Wives can be just as brutal.
The title states “partner” but from thereafter it is he hating her. It works both ways. I have the exact opposite; her hating me and similar signs. Beware of spouses that may inherit money. They often hide tearing the reputation of there spouse, to look righteous getting rid of them and taking the inheritance and divorcing to keep all to themselves. Sad but true. It’s not enough to take the money and run, they have to look righteous in the process at the expense of one’s years.
Many couples are miserable in their relationships but still they continue to stay in the relationship due to the financial reasons. Divorce laws in liberals states like California, Washington etc. make it very difficult for people to have a financially independent life after the divorce. In many cases one person in the household worked hard his whole life and took all the stress all these years while other person was staying home and enjoying the fruits of his labor. But when its time to divorce this person has to give half of everything he made in his entire life to other person and in addition keep supporting other person for for so many years destroying him financially and make it impossible for him to have another fruitful relationship after the divorce. So if you are in or past your middle ages, for most of the people a divorce is a death sentence financially unless you are very wealthy. So people are forced to stay in the miserable relationship being depressed rest of their lives.
Honey, if you & your wife had a home & children, she worked too. Keeping up a home and caring for kids isn’t a stroll in the park. Did you throw it in her face that she “just sat around all day & did nothing?” Keeping up a home & caring for kids IS work. I found working outside the home was a lot easier then raising 3 boys. I would NEVER trade the time I had with them before I had to work, but a job outside was a lot easier. Your wife needed to be compensated for her work.
That is very true. In a divorce, everyone wants everything. If both sides walk away a little upset, then it was fair. Thing is, people do not work at it
Fact
This article was excellent. So many couples are experiencing these issues. Thank you for sharing!!!
Note: I think I counted 9 clues (vs. 8). Lol…The more the merrier.
Most of this is true of my wife of 46 years . We do nothing together I try to get her to do things she just wants to stay home . Have ask what wrong she doesn’t want to talk about it . Have said we could seek therapy she said I don’t think that works and won’t try it . Don’t know how to make things better if she doesn’t want to work together I know it’s getting old . Don’t know how much more I can take.
Maybe she found someone else that pays more attention to her than you do. It does happen (from experience).
Let’s face it… Marriage is a ridiculously unnatural state of existence. It’s the choice to build the prison, not necessarily the cellmate, that builds the resentment. The resentment is, therefore, just the hater deflecting his/her self-hatred onto their other masochistic partner in crime.
No matter the fault of whoever or whichever, if there are children in the marriage…; it is the children that suffer and show the results of an unhappy marriage. The saying YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOOE” is so TRUE.—The unhappy years, are your soooeing years, he reaping is where your children are the results of your soooeing, so how did your childrens’ life turn out. THEY are what you soooed, and now you may be also reaping. Childrens’ personalities-emotons are the results of unhappy or Happy marriages. Some are not able to deal with the depressing emotions and emotional abuse they experienced as a child….and results can be death…sickness, mental, or even suicide. It does not always happen to someone else. Children don’t asked to be born,. Be a good parent’. –LOVE–GOD BLESS YOU’- and YOUR FAMILY’-
I believe this , but in some ways it’s an inescapable situation, I have children who are aggressive, because of my wife’s verbal aggressive behavior. You are trapped
This is why only deep friends who are attracted to each other should live together. Everyone else should live separately. Go out together, somewhere nice, a couple of times a month, go on one vacation apart from the kids. and act like you’re dating. A kiss of death is when one likes to go out, a lot, and the other wants to stay at home. If you’re a nice guy, you can go out with ‘bad girls’ who never grew up, but don’t marry one, for they prefer ‘bad boys’. There’s no cure for that. Same for you ladies. I, at 63, like to go with women who are bad in private, but sweet in public, and we live in our own homes. Never allow any to leave anything in my home as a marker of territory. Also, I stay away from strong Believers in God, though regular Believers are fine.
Why the strong believers in God, only asking because I have one. She knows it’s a non-starter for me so she keeps it under wrap.
The only prolem I ever had in my marriage, was the family. (His) That called me a “Gold Digger’.
I married him because I loved him, and always will. He is gone now and his family stole a small fortune from him, because he married me. I felt his pain yet took care of him for 8 yrs., after he was diagnoised with Alzheimers, at only 52 yrs. young. He died @ 60 and not one memerber of his family even acknowledged it.
There are many things within a marriage but I know my husand knew I loved him and I’m certain he loved me. For that, I am enternally grateful.
Good for you, you’re a great woman!
That is very true. In a divorce, everyone wants everything. If both sides walk away a little upset, then it was fair. Thing is, people do not work at it
Not true, that it’s always the guys fault. No a days woman don’t a good guy anymore. They rather not communicate, cause confusion then to say let’s work together. I been married twice and I am on my second marriage now. Not even a year and you can see the hatred the passive negative comments. It is bizarre that I have not seen accountability for the woman swear they want a good man and when they find him they don’t what do with him once they take off the market. My ex wife use Wait for me by door to argue with me. You know what does to a man that worked two shifts? That made never want to be home.
you never met the right person sorry !
With me it was always her doing the hating. She would amp up the hatred when a new guy was entering her life and she projected her shame onto me and hated me for it. She would diet and “ Go to the gym” everyday for a month and before you knew it she would stop and get fat again. Her dudes never lasted very long cause she needed the newness to get her fix. I was kept around to pay the bills cause none of her dudes would shack up with her cause she cheated non stop. I found out about her cheating from a text she sent to a friend where she was pissed that her boyfriend was cheating on her!!! She couldn’t believe he was treating her like that!! Totally dillusional and at this point she had been cheating on me very regularly for at least 14 years. Ya. She needed to get the boot and I’m finally in the right frame of mind to do it.
It’s not always the woman. Both parties share blame. Men say they want peace in the home but don’t want to do their share to help have peace in the home. I want just as much peace. The balance is knowing there will be struggles in your marriage or relationship and working through them and talking about how to resolve them is important and key. Leaving to quarantine during covid and saying you will return and then saying I didn’t realize how stressful your home was until I wasn’t there isn’t right. The man walked out because he didn’t want to deal with the stress of raising his adhd son and be there for my special needs son as he promised he would. So now I get to handle all of that stress he wants to avoid all by myself and men aren’t selfish.
My ex could be used as a blueprint to write this article.
My husband is a closet cheater with the websites for married men. He’s a fool… those women just want his money , which he doesn’t have.the whole thing is hurtful and hilarious at the same time. I’ll leave when I have a plan..
Marriage will be extinct in the future, there are changes, phases from the time you meet someone to the time you really get to know them, it’s best to become compatible friends without the lust taking over which is difficult if you’re young, gullible or vulnerable. Even as a young girl I said I never wanted to get married after hearing my next door neighbor woman screaming and crying because her husband was abusing her. Did not believe in marriage, but here 53 years later I am still married.
Blaming each other is common among married couples but nobody peeps deep into their own hearts. It is easy to blame each other but never realize who is hurt. The person being blamed is hurt badly but the person who is blaming also not at peace he/she is hurt deeply inside and suffers emotionally all the time. Sit down and talk face-to-face in a calm and quiet atmosphere, it is not easy but possible. The problem can be solved amicably to save break-ups and forsake relationships, kids, and family.
My wife insists on tyelling me what to do and I resent it. Whenever I try discussing something with her, she loses her temper so I gave that up. I’m at fault. I didn’t do my due diligence before we got married 35 years ago. I’m just waiting for the appropriate time to divorce her and try to find someone more compatible.