He never has time for you
Whenever you try to do something together or just talk to him, he seems to have other plans. If you start pressuring him into finding time for you to talk privately, he might resist your attempts to pin him down or sacrifice a little bit of his precious time.
He might only see it as a chance for you to vent about his issues or to open a conversation that doesn’t interest him at all. However, if you succeed to convince him to at least 15 minutes of his time, then it’s something. Make sure you have a shortlist of things that you need to talk about but don’t expect to cover everything on that list, as you might put too much pressure on both of you.
94 responses
When it comes to marrage it is a 2 way street. Good communication from both sides is what it takes . I can tell that an upset woman wrote all of the comments , The guy is at fault in all of them .
and most of the time, the guy is mostly at fault.
That’s a crap statement. I just got my third divorce, I caught them cheating. I was faithful to three women that ripped my life apart. Women have an equal share.
Either you have bad taste in women or you were the problem
I agree
Wow thats a crap statement if I ever heard one….
I would be thinking about what they were missing and felt the need to cheat. Its obvious something was lacking, conversation, laughing, interests, physical touch, comforting, respect etc. People in general I don’t think just go out and have an affair just to do it, something is missing.
So true it’s that something is missing. How about orgasm?
Many times we men are sexually selfish. Men, care enough about your wife to make sure that she is sexually satisfied first, before you are. Explore her body to find all the spots that stimulate her. She wants you to do that. You will not be disappointed.
Leanna: You are intellectually challenged. Marriage is a two way street and there are self-centered, lying cheating spouses of both sexes. Spend less time on social media and more time opening a book. Or even better, don’t comment in areas that you are not an expert in. And being married does not make you an expert.
You have a point, no doubt. Another thing that is true is that I have yet to EVER meet a woman who would admit that THEY were the cause of the problem. ALWAYS the man’s fault; according to them, anyway.
My ex cheated on me five times all five times I caught her all five times she asked me not to leave finally when I suspected it for a sixth time I asked her why and she told me the five times I cheated on you I thought it was the easiest way to get rid of you but you never got the hint so I said it goes without saying that you don’t want to work on our marriage she laughed so hard I thought she was having a stroke when she finally stopped she said only you would ask that question.
Like I said she’s my ex wife but I guess I needed the proverbial ton of bricks to finally see it was over
Aww now that’s cruel what she did🤤
You were the reason 3 different women cheated! Why and what made them cheat? You did
Yer a cold and vicious person… if all you can do is heap blame with so little info: STFU
Facts big guy! Every woman I treat good and be faithful to ALWAYS cheat on me and leave! They always put the blame on me as well! I think 80% of all women will cheat. Sucks but it’s what they do
We are responsible for our own choices and actions! It doesn’t matter if it’s a man or a woman. If my husband cheated on me, he is the one who made that choice to cheat. If I cheated on my husband, again, it was my choice to cheat on him! See it for what it is… we all make our own choices and we all need to take responsibility for our own actions.
The reason they cheated is because they had never had anyone to be good to them before. Everyone that they were involved with were mean to them and the man cheated on them, so she figured that all men at some point would so she beat you to it. I know because I was one of those women, but now I’m too old to do it so give her a chance she’s just afraid of being hurt again
You say in all 3 marriages your wife cheated on you. Look at this from her point of. view., In my opinion. You probably took them for granted & starved them of love and affection. It could be simple things, like you both work full time jobs, yet when you get home you go to the couch or favorite chair, while she is expected to start dinner immediately. You are into sports, she isn’t, you monopolize the tv , or she feels like she has to watch TV in another room. You don’t help with ,laundry , making beds, washing dishes, cleaning bathrooms, sweep/ mop / vacuum floors, take out the trash, dust, grocery shopping, putting the groceries away., rotating stock. Taking care of kids or pets, not just playing with them. Taking care of feeding, bathing, walking, etc etc. Are you guilty of any of these things ? How about…. When you go anywhere together , are you constantly scanning the area around you for people you know? (or WANT to know) ?? Just so you’re aware of it, it makes us feel like we are not enough for you. That you are looking for our replacement. if YOU are guilty of these things , or even some of these things, You drove her into the arms of someone else, someone who didn’t take her for granted.
amen to you brother.
I happen to be a woman, and you are absolutely right! It’s an equal venture in any relationship!
I completely agree, my husband was with a co-worker in his truck at their lunch hour, and she was married as well. They rip the rug from under you, it takes planning to cheat.
That right!! My husband cheated on me with a married co-worker at lunch time in the back seat of his truck. It takes some amount of planing to cheat, lying, muting their phone, all the sneaking around…but all he can say was “it was a mistake” well 33 years of “mistakes” is more than enough, divorce will be final in about 6 months, and happy to say I’m free at last!!
Same here paul, i hold myself to high standard which i am not sure women even comprehend
All hormones and emotion easily talked into bad situations. I am 68 and will die single
As a wife of a cheater, I agree with you it’s a 2 way street and there is not one sex that is more likely to cheat! You right!
A cheating spouse is always wrong. But if you have had 3 cheating wife’s then you need to really look at your behavior. Why do you keep picking losers? You need help to stop your behavior. Remember you can only control yourself, never someone else.
I just came off a cheating disrespectful woman, woman do have an equal share. Some women just don’t want a good man.
But it’s not always the husband’s fault! What are you supposed to do when she says that she hates you??? In a 24 year marriage, especially the last 7 years, I have been told directly by her that she hated me seveal times and mentioned divorce even in front of our kids. Yet I keep trying to hold on to our marriage!!! How is it my fault???
yeah thats a noooo a big no. women are as much at fault as men sometimes more
Let’s face it, you’re making this sound sexist. That’s not what it’s about, let’s face it. In general, nothing lasts forever and people grow apart. It takes real work to be able to stay together on both sides. If there’s a failure or break in that circle, it’s gonna come apart.
I agree. From what I have witnessed woman of today doesn’t know how to be faithful. They don’t know how to be a good mother or wife. No it’s not always the mans fought. Most of the time it’s the women.
Exactly, because women can’t do wrong. They’re put in tiaras when they deserve thorns in most cases and are so spoiled by society they have no understanding of being responsible or holding themselves accountable.
It’s not surprising to hear a guy say this! It’s a sad truth!
Really? How can you say this? Try busting your ass to provide for the family for 29+ years, going to work finding your wife moved out while you were at work. No explanation, having your world collapse. Having planned for moving to another state and building a brand new house in which to live to have some ” Christian” slug charm her into a relationship to force a divorce. I can’t believe a church with separation classes or some other name could offer such unhealthy environment. Otherwise commonly know as a stocked pond. Av self proclaimed bible quoting guy a several times divorcee. Cheating , while still married.
How do you figure?
I tend to agree with Mary because men are so clueless sometimes and without emotion. Yes, we have perhaps done our part to get to that point but men aren’t doing anything to help out with clearing the issues up.
Statistics now show its the women now cheating and leaving their husbands
Tha man is always 100% at fault. Women are never wrong they never lie or cheat. Men are always to blame…
I know so many than that booster was because it was the wife that started to mess started cheating. I know more people that the wife started it than her husband.
True, it is written from a woman’s perspective. However if you substitute pronouns it applies to male and female partners, alike. Your main point that communication is a two way street is key. The relationship can’t work once one person shuts down. It is a horrible feeling when you become the one who is shut out.
When your mate says disparaging comments, like I married you because I like Cheap Things, that is a terrible comments.
MY father, said nasty things to my mom and she put up with it, I told her one time you have been married to this man for 26 years, and if you had shot him the first year, you could be out on parole by now! lol It was a joke, but it also expressed emotions on my part.
It appears to be just that! Yes the road does run both ways . If two people can’t learn to communicate, then blaming sets in and no communication leads to insecurities which leads to trust issues and then either or usually ends up leaving or cheating 🤔 just my opinion.
This is written with the man being the one demonstrating the hate. we have been married 52 years and it is my wife that is showing signs of hate in the past year. Re-write this with the female being the hater.
Amen. Its not always us guys
You got that right. Women always act like Angels. A couple of years after marriage, their horns start coming out. They stop loving you and start loving money. They leave you for the rich man. Years later they send you the apology letter and want you to take them back. No way!!!. This is karma teaching them a hard lesson.
You aren’t the only person I have heard this from!
Whatever happened to good communication and compromise in a relationship!
How about a bit of nurturing too!
I have trouble understanding today’s relationships!
I was married at 18 and lost my husband just shy of our 46th Wedding Anniversary! We definitely had our ups and downs, but we always managed to come up with a solution!
You know, thats true, they reliaze they made a mistake and now want to come back. leave them in the street, where they belong.
That is correct. each man or woman needs to stop the nasty comments to each other….but if you have been married for a long time, the spouses feel they can humiliate or betray their mate and it will be forgiven….
Gary
I will agree with you.
And I was a wife to a heartbreak divorce.
But women can be the cruelest and meanest spouses !
in the animal world, the female is more deadlier than the male. The male is just bigger
Exactly
Could it be the resentments of the past 52 years have built up and your wife have had enough. What have you contributed to your wife’s emotions the past 52 years that makes her feel this way? 52 years and she’s still with you, how about asking yourself what are you doing or not to help the situation?
That is correct. You need to take a look at what you have done, or not done, and try to fix it, whether you are the wife or the husband.
I’m in the same boat as you.. married 40 years ago. Are you still with her?
This was my husband and my marriage. Every detail. Finally divorced but financially and professionally devastated. Never recovered. You young women, don’t let this happen to you.
This was my 23 year marriage also. I gave everything and resigned from my good paying position. Then to find out the real reason he had me resign from my position was because he thought I would leave him for someone smarter, worldly, better than he was to me. His problem was his continuous cheating. He took all the assets and left me with no money to survive. Also walked away from his (2) adult children when they needed him the most. I ended up paying for the majority of their college and living expenses. And he gave me all the debt it took to buy his toys. I am happier than I have ever been! I live a poor life but I’m free and don’t walk on eggshells anymore.
Well good you got out of that I’m going through the same thing now wanting out. 22 years of hell.
These behaviors are not always the husband. Wives can be just as brutal.
The title states “partner” but from thereafter it is he hating her. It works both ways. I have the exact opposite; her hating me and similar signs. Beware of spouses that may inherit money. They often hide tearing the reputation of there spouse, to look righteous getting rid of them and taking the inheritance and divorcing to keep all to themselves. Sad but true. It’s not enough to take the money and run, they have to look righteous in the process at the expense of one’s years.
Many couples are miserable in their relationships but still they continue to stay in the relationship due to the financial reasons. Divorce laws in liberals states like California, Washington etc. make it very difficult for people to have a financially independent life after the divorce. In many cases one person in the household worked hard his whole life and took all the stress all these years while other person was staying home and enjoying the fruits of his labor. But when its time to divorce this person has to give half of everything he made in his entire life to other person and in addition keep supporting other person for for so many years destroying him financially and make it impossible for him to have another fruitful relationship after the divorce. So if you are in or past your middle ages, for most of the people a divorce is a death sentence financially unless you are very wealthy. So people are forced to stay in the miserable relationship being depressed rest of their lives.
Honey, if you & your wife had a home & children, she worked too. Keeping up a home and caring for kids isn’t a stroll in the park. Did you throw it in her face that she “just sat around all day & did nothing?” Keeping up a home & caring for kids IS work. I found working outside the home was a lot easier then raising 3 boys. I would NEVER trade the time I had with them before I had to work, but a job outside was a lot easier. Your wife needed to be compensated for her work.
That’s very true!!! Why can’t men try yo stay home to take care of the kids, cook, clean the house, govt ok market, does budgets to makevwnds meet day after day, so they would know home stay wives have the toughest job ever! Not to mention take care of the husbands needs too.. keep wondering where do they get the energy? Simple, it’s their Love♥️of their children that strengthens them!! They do deserve the best compensation….
That is very true. In a divorce, everyone wants everything. If both sides walk away a little upset, then it was fair. Thing is, people do not work at it
Fact
This article was excellent. So many couples are experiencing these issues. Thank you for sharing!!!
Note: I think I counted 9 clues (vs. 8). Lol…The more the merrier.
Most of this is true of my wife of 46 years . We do nothing together I try to get her to do things she just wants to stay home . Have ask what wrong she doesn’t want to talk about it . Have said we could seek therapy she said I don’t think that works and won’t try it . Don’t know how to make things better if she doesn’t want to work together I know it’s getting old . Don’t know how much more I can take.
Maybe she found someone else that pays more attention to her than you do. It does happen (from experience).
Let’s face it… Marriage is a ridiculously unnatural state of existence. It’s the choice to build the prison, not necessarily the cellmate, that builds the resentment. The resentment is, therefore, just the hater deflecting his/her self-hatred onto their other masochistic partner in crime.
No matter the fault of whoever or whichever, if there are children in the marriage…; it is the children that suffer and show the results of an unhappy marriage. The saying YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOOE” is so TRUE.—The unhappy years, are your soooeing years, he reaping is where your children are the results of your soooeing, so how did your childrens’ life turn out. THEY are what you soooed, and now you may be also reaping. Childrens’ personalities-emotons are the results of unhappy or Happy marriages. Some are not able to deal with the depressing emotions and emotional abuse they experienced as a child….and results can be death…sickness, mental, or even suicide. It does not always happen to someone else. Children don’t asked to be born,. Be a good parent’. –LOVE–GOD BLESS YOU’- and YOUR FAMILY’-
I believe this , but in some ways it’s an inescapable situation, I have children who are aggressive, because of my wife’s verbal aggressive behavior. You are trapped
This is why only deep friends who are attracted to each other should live together. Everyone else should live separately. Go out together, somewhere nice, a couple of times a month, go on one vacation apart from the kids. and act like you’re dating. A kiss of death is when one likes to go out, a lot, and the other wants to stay at home. If you’re a nice guy, you can go out with ‘bad girls’ who never grew up, but don’t marry one, for they prefer ‘bad boys’. There’s no cure for that. Same for you ladies. I, at 63, like to go with women who are bad in private, but sweet in public, and we live in our own homes. Never allow any to leave anything in my home as a marker of territory. Also, I stay away from strong Believers in God, though regular Believers are fine.
Why the strong believers in God, only asking because I have one. She knows it’s a non-starter for me so she keeps it under wrap.
GOD forbid you would disagree with GOD’s laws. You should like living in Amerikan cities today. stealing, killing, bad drivers, no one is polite, don’t take care of parents or kids. NO THANKS
The only prolem I ever had in my marriage, was the family. (His) That called me a “Gold Digger’.
I married him because I loved him, and always will. He is gone now and his family stole a small fortune from him, because he married me. I felt his pain yet took care of him for 8 yrs., after he was diagnoised with Alzheimers, at only 52 yrs. young. He died @ 60 and not one memerber of his family even acknowledged it.
There are many things within a marriage but I know my husand knew I loved him and I’m certain he loved me. For that, I am enternally grateful.
Good for you, you’re a great woman!
That is very true. In a divorce, everyone wants everything. If both sides walk away a little upset, then it was fair. Thing is, people do not work at it
Not true, that it’s always the guys fault. No a days woman don’t a good guy anymore. They rather not communicate, cause confusion then to say let’s work together. I been married twice and I am on my second marriage now. Not even a year and you can see the hatred the passive negative comments. It is bizarre that I have not seen accountability for the woman swear they want a good man and when they find him they don’t what do with him once they take off the market. My ex wife use Wait for me by door to argue with me. You know what does to a man that worked two shifts? That made never want to be home.
you never met the right person sorry !
With me it was always her doing the hating. She would amp up the hatred when a new guy was entering her life and she projected her shame onto me and hated me for it. She would diet and “ Go to the gym” everyday for a month and before you knew it she would stop and get fat again. Her dudes never lasted very long cause she needed the newness to get her fix. I was kept around to pay the bills cause none of her dudes would shack up with her cause she cheated non stop. I found out about her cheating from a text she sent to a friend where she was pissed that her boyfriend was cheating on her!!! She couldn’t believe he was treating her like that!! Totally dillusional and at this point she had been cheating on me very regularly for at least 14 years. Ya. She needed to get the boot and I’m finally in the right frame of mind to do it.
Good for you. Boot her right on out the door. I’m 72 and I have not found anyone sense my man passed. I miss him very much. I know he was honest he always made me a part of everything
I here you!!
It’s not always the woman. Both parties share blame. Men say they want peace in the home but don’t want to do their share to help have peace in the home. I want just as much peace. The balance is knowing there will be struggles in your marriage or relationship and working through them and talking about how to resolve them is important and key. Leaving to quarantine during covid and saying you will return and then saying I didn’t realize how stressful your home was until I wasn’t there isn’t right. The man walked out because he didn’t want to deal with the stress of raising his adhd son and be there for my special needs son as he promised he would. So now I get to handle all of that stress he wants to avoid all by myself and men aren’t selfish.
My ex could be used as a blueprint to write this article.
My husband is a closet cheater with the websites for married men. He’s a fool… those women just want his money , which he doesn’t have.the whole thing is hurtful and hilarious at the same time. I’ll leave when I have a plan..
Marriage will be extinct in the future, there are changes, phases from the time you meet someone to the time you really get to know them, it’s best to become compatible friends without the lust taking over which is difficult if you’re young, gullible or vulnerable. Even as a young girl I said I never wanted to get married after hearing my next door neighbor woman screaming and crying because her husband was abusing her. Did not believe in marriage, but here 53 years later I am still married.
Blaming each other is common among married couples but nobody peeps deep into their own hearts. It is easy to blame each other but never realize who is hurt. The person being blamed is hurt badly but the person who is blaming also not at peace he/she is hurt deeply inside and suffers emotionally all the time. Sit down and talk face-to-face in a calm and quiet atmosphere, it is not easy but possible. The problem can be solved amicably to save break-ups and forsake relationships, kids, and family.
My wife insists on tyelling me what to do and I resent it. Whenever I try discussing something with her, she loses her temper so I gave that up. I’m at fault. I didn’t do my due diligence before we got married 35 years ago. I’m just waiting for the appropriate time to divorce her and try to find someone more compatible.
If your wife cheated on you five times, it was your fault the last four times, you should have filed for devoice after the first time. I believed you were excited about her with another man, that is the reason you stayed the last four cheats.
Well, don’t just blame the husband. I am in a relationship that a female who fits all the issues: not carrying, calling names, blaming me, etc. It is about time that people; understand IT IS NOT ALWAYS THE MALE. The FEMALE DOES IT AS WELL! I am in a position where I am questioning my existence, my worth, my self-confidence, whether am I worth living, and whether am I that bad as a husband, I gave her EVERYTHING she wanted and I feel I am just spinning my wheels, and getting NOWHERE. Emotional ABUSE works TWO WAYS! Wake up and smell the coffee.
Those men don’t want to leave you, but they also want a woman 20 years younger than him. Their psychology is distorted. Women, protect your own wealth and don’t let him use your money to please his novelty.
Wow reading these comments are so sad…people were hurt and are still hurting, still judging. Women And Men want happiness in their life, and a relationship, how can you have either if your still carrying around hatred and unforgiveness.
I’m a unicorn guys. Been married twice got divorced twice. Both times I walked away with what I owned. Never took one cent from either husband. Second husband & I had just bought new car that I drove. Per my divorce papers I put car in my name & made payments by myself. He Sold our house for less than its value. Which was upsetting because my parents helped with down payment & it would have been nice to had that $ to pay them back. Which I ended up doing by myself. I never cheated on either husband, but was made to feel not good enough. Both turned out to be Momma boys. First ex was cheater, Second cheated emotionally then turned physically at end of our marriage. Sex was never an issue, Money wasn’t a problem, I worked. No children. No fights. They had there hobbies. I trusted them, until I saw signs. Like women calling the house & asking who I was & telling them the wife. And their reply, I didn’t know he was married. I’m not bitter about it. I married the wrong men. And now many years later, they both have told me on multiple occasions they screwed up & are sorry. I’m sure their wives now don’t want to hear that. But everything happens for a reason.
Your appearance: from once a beauty are you now fat and blubbery, wrinkled with cellulites, double chinned, pendulum bellied, dressed like a bum, the couch potato type, a walking eye-sore? Booth men and women, it explains all your troubles if your espouse is agile, knows fashions, attends a gym, practices sports or dancing.
What is true love in a marriage? Love is just a feeling. Love is overrated. What do you do you love someone and they don’t love you back? Before marriage, things was happening all around me, but I was so blinded by what I thought love was supposed to be. It’s been 16 years of marriage and 18 years being together. He wanted kids because his first wife couldn’t bare kids. I had my tubes tied for over 10 years, but to please him at that time, I would go to the moon and back for him. I had my tubes reversed just to give him kids thinking that would make him the happiest man in the world. Well for a little while, it did. After a few years in and the kids got older thrill was over. He confessed to me about an affair that he had and my world became upside down since then. I never looked at him or felt the same anymore. It was like my heart was snatched out of my chest. It’s been years since all of this that happened and my life nor my marriage has been the same. I gave him my all and that must wasn’t good enough. Through it all, the disrespect, unfaithfulness and non-chalant attitude as if I owe him an apology. I haven’t worked in years due to my illness. My kids and I are totally dependent on him. I’m really tired and fed up but want my marriage, but don’t see a happy future. I hate to break up our home but it’s so toxic for me and the kids. I’ve been trying to figure out just how to get out of this. This is my first marriage and his second marriage. I feel as though he brought drama from his first marriage that contaminated our marriage. I sometimes can’t even look at him because of the hatred that I carry in my heart.what and where do I go from here?
Why is it ALWAYS one way? Women are as much fault at pushing away relationships.