DETANGLE’s Insights
Sometimes we don’t realize that the person we are with is actually lying to us constantly! It happened to me with my first husband, and believe me, if I knew better, I wouldn’t have spent all that time in a toxic relationship! Learn these signs so you do not end up with a thoroughly broken heart!
Do you think your partner is a liar?
No one wants to think that their loved one is a liar, but if this question has been popping up in your mind more often lately, it is a good idea to look further into it. Sometimes it could be that they are just embarrassed to admit certain things, and other times it could end up being a bit more serious.
Pathological liars cannot help it, and they just end up lying out of pure habit, generally to hide certain insecurities they may possess. And while small white lies may not be that harmful, you can never know when these liars end up graduating to bigger, bolder lies!
In order to make sure you are staying safe, here are some signs you could be looking for if you want to know whether someone in your life is truly a pathological liar!
58 Responses
I am a 71 year old widower who met a lady a little over 2 years ago who was not only a pathological lier, but also a 67 year old female sex addict. Little did I know that before I entered a relationship with her, she had slept with at least 10 other men prior to myself in a two year span. But for some reason, she wanted a ‘longer’ relationship this time, so she lied, deceived, and manipulated me into falling in love with her over an eight month period, to the point where she accepted my proposal of marriage. She was not only a great lier, but also a great actress. She had me hook, line, and sinker. And she had nearly all seven of these characteristics. I was so mesmerized by her fake love, I failed to recognize any of these signs, so I ended up having my heart broken into a million pieces. Sure wish I had learned about these signs two years earlier.
That happened to most men, women are pathological and hopeless liars.
It’s men who are the liars. Women just mirror your toxic behaviors.
I don’t think you’re taking responsibility for your our other women’s actions. Women lie too. Please don’t pretend that you’re innocent of lying. Everyone lies even me and you.
And this is why men are starting to speak out. Too many wmn with toxic mindsets and sympathetic public to boost the bs they spread.
Noooooooo! Women lie about everything. From age to makeup to body types. Makeup and body altering clothing are the two most common lies followed by hair dying to hide age.
Lol!
Are you saying that men don’t do these things too? Shoe lifts? Wash-in gray concealer? Cosmetic surgery? Hair transplants? Tailored clothing?
And mastered it apparently
You got that right!
roflmao !
From my experience most men are liars as well as women. Not all men and not all women are liars.
Men are as well
Just saying
When you ask a woman for her hand in marriage and LIE to get that hand…yeah
Speaker as a man; or are you speaking from a woman 😎
🤡
I as a woman will agree that woman lie. But as do men.
Idk if my husband of 4 years is a liar or just delusional. I didn’t know him for Long before we got married. But his time line on things he says and where he is at know dont match up… he’s not hurtful or hateful. Comes home after work doesn’t run around no drinking or drugs. He lives in someone else’s life. Me I am open and I am who I am like me or not idc. But he seems to always wants to be a 1 upper.
So what does that make him? A pathalocal liar , or what ? Idk just asking
He sounds like my ex-boyfriend. He lies ALL the time, even when I show him his own receipt with the time and date that DOESN’T match with what lie he just told me. They are BOTH asses.
Some are yes, but there are good ladies out there. They are not found in bars
Amen same goes for men.
That’s not fair to say since there are many good hearted and honest women out there. Maybe you are looking in the wrong places.
My sister lies about everything and my Ex lied about so many things. So I think it is both men and women. I would like a companion but am afraid I will be lied to or manipulated. I know there are many men who don’t lie but I don’t know where to find them.
Dear Bruce. I believe anyone can lie. When I was about to celebrate my 40th anniversary. It was supposed to be a big milestone. Instead I got a confession that tore my heart out of my body. My husband came and confes ed to me That he was having an affair for the past years. He wasn’t dating. She was going to a Massage parlor.. Where he was approached by an asian woman. He could have said no. Hey did A few times according to him.. After that he gave in. So every time he went to have a massage he had sex with this woman. In the massage parlor. He confessed to me that 1 day she wasn’t there and she had left instructions with one of her friends that in case he came in she. Was to fill her spot. So these 2 women. Took turns on and off with my husband for two years. I knew immediately that he was cheating.. Because he changed towards me.. I just couldn’t ever find out who he was doing it with. He would disappear for a long time and turn off his phone. In just tell me he was getting a massage. It is one of the biggest lies that he has ever told me. This man was supposed to be my best friend. We should have been able to tell each other anything.. He finally couldn’t take it anymore. And he confessed to me. In The two years that I felt the distance between us. And that I had lost my best friend. I thought I would feel better when he would finally confess. But it didn’t feel any better. In fact it destroyed me. I could not understand how a man that I love so much could dosomething like that to me. The. Answer to your question?. Yes I believe both females and males are just as guilty in lying.. This has been a very hard journey for me. We chose to work on the marriage. Somebody told me that The hardest thing to do is walk away. That is a lie. The easiest thing to do was walk away. But I chose to stay and fight for my marriage. We have been through a lot of counseling.. And have turned to God.. We do a lot of praying. Many things have changed between us. Most of them for the good. My first year I thought I was going to die From the pain that I felt.. It was the worst pain that I have ever felt in my entire life.. Many times I wanted to run away.. And I did. But somehow or another god would talk me into coming back. The relationship has gotten a lot better. We’ve done a lot of things different now.. But every now and then that pang of insecurity will hit. I’m sharing this story with you because believe it or not God told me to.. Both sexes Are more than capable of lying. The trick is to try not to do what the world tells you to do. God bless you.
Very encouraging experience. God is good all the time. No one is perfect. It’s good you forgave him at the same time be watchful. God bless you and let God be the centerpiece of your marriage.
I can relate but as long as they know that they are going to get a slap on the wrist. They may do it again. The first time my guy cheated. I’m gonna say the first time I paid attention. It was two years I continued to put in 100 percent to the relationship but once that trust is lost it’s hard to be comfortable with the daily living because you will always wonder. Don’t worry because we do get fed up after two years.
David Wood? My old friend ! Tom Paul here. Excuse me if you are not one of my best lifetime friends….
how about adding one more to the list….a narcissist. The folks are usually like diamonds…..multi-faceted. How come I know…..cuz I married one!!! SSDD. You are lucky you got out.
Listen to all the men haters?
This is so true! The guy I dated totally messed with my mind and even got to the point of mental abuse! I couldn’t believe how gullible I was (and hopefully )will never be again…I feel sorry for anyone who is with him and any future relationships he may have.
May I ask you.what partl did you play in the relationship where he felt like he had to lie to you?
Liars come in all sizes, shapes,colors, and gender or whatever the hell they are calling it today. They lie to anyone, not just those in relationships.
Shut up
It’s not always the woman to blame.
My mother, sister & X husband were all liars. They all had exterior toughness but once you got out from under the rock you realized that they were so very insecure & always craved the attention from others. So proud of myself for getting away from their toxic maneuvers. They had me for many years.
The last comment interests me most.
3 people she is/was very close to ” are all liars” indicates a variable resembling mild paranoid schizophrenia, whereby the individual suspects (and even convinced that no one is allowed to close , because everyone lies to him /her and later evolves into mass conspiracy pitting them , even though no relationship or even acquaintances are all part of his/her delusion of being “ganged up on” . One must be careful not to be an armchair psychologist without extensive educational and practical experience in Psychological diagnostics. This is commonly an abuse that could end in real damage to the target of real harm couched as obvious pathology.
That may be true, or this person could have very well grown up in a narcissistic household and then went on to attract a narcissistic spouse. Could that not be plausible? After doing her own research she realized that it was them after all.
Lying is more than using words. Its the actions, silence and never accept blame but instead always accusing her husband
They tell the same lie or very close to it when they are doing something wrong and don’t think u know it’s a lie until u don’t care anymore but stay for your granddaughter which makes u happier than anything else
My wife has had a couple on-line relationships, I didn’t know this until my gut started kicking my butt, when I was in hospital for a lung surgery due to multiple colaspsing of my right lung. Was in there for three weeks. Wife visited for 10 minutes one time. I got home and I could not move for like a week. First day she wakes in made her something to eat and headed downstairs. I told her I hadn’t eaten all day and was starving. She she worked all day and was hungry. I brought to attention that I am peeing in a cup due to the pain, and can’t get up. She threw a fit and made me a sandwich. I called my children 14, and ten. Explained that I had been struggling to breath and was in a lot of pain. My children have never seen me cry, and I was in full blown breakdown asking them to help feed me and get through this recovery, because their mom wouldn’t. As they witnessed. Eventually busted her because my 3 rd hold of five. Used his computer skills and downloaded a nightmare on a flash drive that I went through with a broken heart. Still with her for my children’s sake, and because I’m keeping a promise to myself that I made as a kid in a toxic environment. I communicate to the children and have made decisions on our discussions. I will endure for them! Hoping to help my wife, through her issues she had due to a traumatic childhood. This is the only marriage I will have. My children are everything to me, even tho I feel I’m not the best dad, due to my childhood. Thanks been wanting to tell someone this.
Get out! You’re not doing your kids any favors by staying with her. What is her and your example teaching the kids? Even alone, you would be better off and I doubt she would want the kids. Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you have to walk away. Don’t be a door mat to your wife. Be the kind of person you want your kids to grow up to be.
Right on so true, do it for your precious kids
Leaving is far worse. She may not WANT to care for the children, but will NOT want him to have custody. Life will become chaotic for the children. Disappointment…agonizing disappointment will destroy the children.
Sharing a home, but not a bed can be a successful way of raising the children. They have access to both parents in a calm, stable home. It is bot ideal…but better than the alternative.
Amen, you said it all.
im sorry all that youve gone through but u do need to be strong.. apparently u have been or u wouldn’t be here.
Never let your past get the best of u.
Don’t stay for the kids, I made this mistake, divorce will just get more expensive down the road. Get in your best shape, get the divorce going and happy hunting.
Staying with her “for the kids” will damage them way more than divorce.
You are so right!
Sounds exactly like my marriage
I met this woman from Cambodia and an anti-vivisectionist meeting. She had a PhD in immunology and resembled Sophia Loren. I was captivated the minute I saw her I knew that I had to find out everything I could about her and perhaps have carnal knowledge of her very quickly fast forward eight years from now I’m living in a double wide trailer. In Patoka IL and recently had to sell my Ferlin Husky memorabilia collection. Remember what John Donne admonished to centuries ago; “Love built on beauty, soon as beauty, dies”
It is fair to say, both men and women are liars. Guys, if you fall for one of these deceptive types it is because you are thinking with the wrong head. (Im a guy). Be careful out there, but do not give up on love! I’m 57 I have a beautiful young girlfriend I met her on TInder. I would recommend to both sexes to download bumble and tinder, get some of your best pictures up, and give it a go, this is where people are. Most over 40 or 50 think dating apps are for the birds and won’t do it. BIG MISTAKE!
My husband has everyone of these characteristics. Unfortunately, we were married before I found out. When I did, I’ve put things in place to combat his behaviors which infuriates him to no end. Slowly, but surely, my hand is being pulled from this lion’s mouth. I’ve mention on numerous occasions that we will eventually part ways, but he can’t stand to hear it. It doesn’t matter if he puts on his best behaviors … the fact is that I’m out!!! This article pegged him exactly on all counts!!!
Bruce and shaya should hook up..lol
This sounds like a perfect description of Donald Trump!
I am currently in a relationship and have been for ten yrs. He is not only a pathological liar, but a narcissist as well. It drove me to therapy, where I learned there was nothing wrong with me. What I was feeling and my responses to situations were perfectly normal. He convinced me I needed help. It took awhile for me to figure out what was really going on. He cheated time and time again and would never admit it. Sometimes his lies were so off the wall, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. To think im stupid enough to buy any of it was insulting. He lied about the simplest things, when there was no reason to have to lie. It’s all about him, there’s is nothing about me that matters in the very least. I’ve left him time and time again. Each time he comes back and sucks me right back in. We can’t seem to end it with each other. There are really great times as well, but it’s always in the back of my mind. He can be the most wonderful person. It’s extreme frustrating. I have figured him out. I know all these things about him. He fits everyone of the 7 signs. Yet, I go back! I must really be lonely!
There is CLEARLY something wrong with you as well, if you choose to stay in this type of relationship. It takes WAY to much work to deal with that type of person. Life is as SIMPLE or as HARD as you allow it to be! BALLS IN YOUR COURT!
You are right on. Why settle for something like that.
Wow, I’m so glad I read this and all the comments above I recently ended a relationship with a pathological liar after giving them three chances. I was considering that they may have changed but after reading this I think I had given this particular person more than enough chances. To anyone who’s been hurt by a pathological liar, please do not let a dark past prevent you from having a bright future. ( remember no one is perfect ) For those still in an unhappy marriage, friendship or relationship life is too short to be anything but happy do yourself a favor and do whatever it takes for you to find happiness .
No relationship is worth losing your sanity.
I wish I could meet one of these decent men in this comment site. Being an honest, transparent person is rare these days.
I wish I’d read this article almost 30 yrs. ago! So many of these points apply to my estranged husband—from needing to be the center of attention to having to be the best at everything! I’m not saying only men are liars b/c that’s NOT true; just saying how it applies to my marriage. All those things & the fact that he tried to blame ME for his lies! 🤦🏻♀️