I am a 60-year-old woman, and I tried online dating. If you’re also considering trying it, check out my tips below.
Every chapter of life has its special adventures. It’s time to enjoy the thrill of dating once more if you’re single and eager to socialize. And the decision doesn’t have to do with your age! Because guess what? You can have fun, enjoy your life, and enjoy yourself even if you’re not in your 20s anymore.
Today’s world revolves around online shopping, bill payment, and dating. I tried online dating as well, and no matter how shy and afraid I was, it offered surprising benefits. Since it doesn’t require you to leave your house (which is great if standing, walking, or driving isn’t much fun anymore), it allows you to meet people you wouldn’t otherwise meet, and it gives you the freedom to continue dating at your pace in a cozy environment, the comfort of your own home.
Below you will find some of my tips after I tried dating online, how to do it without seeming too “pushy” or desperate to start something just to fill a void in your life, and, most importantly, how to protect yourself from people who may not have good intentions. Let’s start.
Set realistic expectations
When I tried online dating for the first time, I was super shy, and I didn’t even know how to start a conversation without being weird or rude. My husband and I got divorced two years ago, and since then, I haven’t been keen on meeting someone new. I actually thought my life was pretty much over, and at 58, who on Earth would want an old lady like me?
That’s why my advice to you is to take it easy and set some realistic expectations. Please keep in mind that nobody is perfect. Everybody has baggage and imperfections, especially after a certain age. Instead of aiming for perfection, focus on meeting somebody whose values, interests, and personality match yours. Consider your preferences for a man or woman in their 50s or 60s.
Don’t rush into something you’ll later regret; instead, go with the flow.
Be straightforward
Online communication must be direct and clear since no nonverbal clues can be read, and the tone of voice cannot be detected over text. Don’t sugarcoat words; say what you mean and mean what you say. Steer clear of slang and acronyms that not everyone will understand, especially those that you don’t understand yourself!
Be yourself
Do you remember that time back in the day when we were in our 20s and we had butterflies in our stomachs? It was fun for teenagers and young adults. When I tried online dating for the first time, I wanted to meet a person who would know me and appreciate me for exactly who I am.
Especially for seniors, authenticity is key. Be yourself and be honest; of course, don’t start sharing your life stories in the first 20 minutes of the conversation. But if and when you’re asked about yourself, stay true to yourself. The right person will like you just the way you are.
Be clear on your goals and intentions
When I tried online dating for the first time, I wished I knew this, but you know, we all learn from our mistakes. Before making an account on dating apps, ask yourself honestly, “What am I looking for?” Whether you’re looking for a casual friendship, a new companion, or a future marriage partner, be specific about your preferences in a match. There’s nothing worse than making a meaningful connection only to discover that they aren’t interested in a serious relationship while you’re looking for marriage.
Respect boundaries, and make sure you have your own
Respect their boundaries and enforce your own if you or your match don’t want to discuss a particular topic, such as past marriages or relationships, or in-the-bedroom preferences. You don’t have to reveal any information you don’t feel comfortable sharing online, and online safety is crucial.
Don’t make a big deal if someone doesn’t respond immediately
Not everyone answers messages right away. If someone takes a few hours or even a day to reply to messages, don’t take it personally. I remember when I tried online dating, I was chatting with a man who was really busy since he was working full-time, while I had a bit more free time on my hands. One day, I got a little frustrated when he didn’t respond right away, even though I knew it wasn’t fair to expect him to answer immediately.
If, however, you find this bothersome, it may be an early warning that the person you are speaking with is not the right person for you.
Never, but never disclose personal info to a stranger
When I tried online dating, I was very cautious about whom I talked to. Because, you know, a lot of people may not be who they pretend they are, and you never know what danger awaits. Call me paranoid, but it is what it is!
Don’t be specific about where you live when you’re interacting with someone online. Get to know someone and then have a video chat with them to make sure they are who they claim to be before sharing any of this information! Until you get to know this person well, avoid interacting with them via phone, text, or email. Instead, use the platform itself.
My story inspired you to try online dating, too? I am thrilled to hear it! But if you feel like you need a little bit of extra guidance besides this article, refer to this wonderful book that also helped me. Navigating the World of Online Dating for Singles Over 50: How to Find Love and Companionship in the Digital Era is a great guide crafted specifically for you, the senior who is eager to meet someone new. It’s available on Amazon at the price of $10.48 for the paperback edition.
Meet safely in person
You might want to meet someone in person after you’ve had a video chat and gotten to know them well. Always meet in a public setting that isn’t too close to your house for your first meeting, and ideally for your second, third, and fourth meetings as well. Avoid drinking too much during the first meetings as well, as this could affect your judgment and safety.
Be patient and have fun while you get to know each other
As you know, it takes time to find the right person, especially for seniors. Even if you don’t immediately find your soulmate, keep going. Be receptive to a variety of people and experiences. It may surprise you who you end up connecting with.
It should be fun, not stressful, to date. Don’t overburden yourself with the need to find “the one.” Unwind, enjoy yourself, and enjoy the moment. You never know what connections or experiences lie ahead.
Explore your options
Are you ready to start dating again? There are many ways to meet possible partners, regardless of your level of dating experience. Consider the following options: EliteSingles, eHarmony, SilverSingles, or Match.com.
Related article: Secrets to Revive Your Libido After 50.
