Read through these dating app truths before you swipe!
Fact: The dream of algorithmic magic connecting singles to their perfect matches has evolved into a $3 billion industry. But now, here’s a sad truth: Our current technological advances haven’t solved a problem that’ll likely become more difficult for some.
For those looking to find love, the 21st-century dating experience can be very disappointing. Dating apps can feel more like another chore instead of a romantic experience. You’re not alone if you romanticize about the day someone sweeps you off your feet.
Romance movies have also set an unrealistic image of what kind of love we should hope to obtain. But should we feel guilty for wanting to find our perfect match? According to a report, 30% of adults in the US have used a dating app, and 12% say they’ve found a long-term relationship.
So, while some can still find love on dating apps, most are still reeling about the whole process. You’ll meet many different kinds of people on dating apps, but I’ve made a list of 5 dating app truths to help you weed out the bad matches so you don’t have to waste your time!
Dating app truth: Beware of the ones with the “check-list”
There’s nothing wrong with someone who knows what they want, but if a conversation feels more like a job interview, then you should probably run the other way. Let’s not forget that getting to know somebody should be enjoyable, even if it is different through a screen.
Let me give you an example: You might be talking to someone who has particular requirements, including finding a partner with a fantastic relationship with their family. Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s great to be a family-orientated person.
But, the quality of a family relationship doesn’t matter whether a person is deserving of being a potential partner. Nobody’s perfect. We all have our personal problems and flaws. But what matters most is a stable connection to someone who’s a good person rather than finding the perfect person who probably doesn’t even exist.
Dating app truth: Ghosting has become highly popular
This one is offensive when it first happens, though it becomes normal with time. Everyone on dating apps will likely experience someone never responding to their messages again. Someone on the app is just busy or has made a better connection with someone else.
Just remember not to take it personally. Being ghosted after a date hurts even more. I’m speaking from an experience that happened a year ago. After talking for a few days, we agreed to meet up for a picnic date. Our conversation was wonderful, but I didn’t enjoy how overly touchy this person was.
He made me feel very uncomfortable. I decided to leave quickly after that. He ended up ghosting me, which made me upset. But I realized quickly after that I had dodged a bullet with that one. It taught me to value my boundaries and not let anyone overstep them. If someone can’t respect your personal space, they’re not worth your time.
Dating app truth: You might want to stay away from flirts
Talking to a few people who are attracted to you on dating apps can be very ego-boosting. It feels even better when they flatter you. But let’s all admit that nothing feels romantic about a potential partner flirting with a dozen other people.
It’s important to remember that if you’re looking for genuine love, flattery won’t make it in the long run. Flirting can demonstrate to someone that you’re attracted to them. But it’s also important to understand when flirting is innocent and when it becomes pushy.
For instance, I hit it off with someone on a dating app. And there was a lot of innocent flirting going on. We complimented each other’s appearances until it felt a bit too intrusive. The person started talking about being intimate and how touchy he was.
It felt overwhelming to hear from someone I had only been talking to for less than a few days. I took this sign as a red flag, but it raises the importance of knowing your comfort levels and boundaries. And if, after saying that you’re uncomfortable with something, it continues, that shows a lack of respect for you.
Dating app truth: Beware of the out of town-ers
There’s nothing wrong with this type of person. But you have to figure out their intentions. I can appreciate someone stating what they want early into our conversation, saying “I’m only here for a couple of weeks,” and asking me “what I’d be open to do” if we hung out.
You get the message right away if someone says this. And don’t get me wrong: There’s nothing wrong with hooking up with someone through an app.
But if you’re looking for a genuine connection, this isn’t the way to go. In my experience, people who are only in town for a couple of weeks usually look for something more casual. Just be direct about asking others what they’re looking for on a dating app.
Dating app truth: The nice-smart one might be a red flag
If you’re a hopeless romantic like me, this is the person we all hope to find on a dating app. Most of the people on these apps are relatively friendly. But if there’s a genuine connection, then it boosts your excitement levels. That’s how I felt when I matched and talked with someone like this.
We connected in many areas, including music, humor, culture, politics, and ambition. Our conversations seemed to flow smoothly. Regardless, I was unsure if this person was into me because he said he wanted to form a friendship first, and flirting was nonexistent between us.
He was also only in town for a couple more weeks, but he never told me he was looking for anything casual. Until we discussed what our upbringing was like with strict parents. I stated I wasn’t allowed to have sleepovers until the age of eighteen and had to lie about being in my friend’s dorm room all night.
He then said, “Wow, you want to have a sleepover sometime?” I sighed with disappointment. I moved on when his intentions became obvious to me. The interaction with him reminded me to know my worth.
I could’ve easily excused his behavior as a joke or be mislead by the idea of a potential relationship with him. Sometimes, it’s better not to let ourselves be blinded by what our hearts want and to pay attention to those red flags that appear when we first get to know someone.
Bonus: Here are 3 tips for leveling up your dating profile:
-Create an engaging caption that’s authentic and can encourage communication. Describing your latest adventures, favorite hobbies, or ideal partner can be attention-grabbing and help you find a great match.
-Knowing physical looks is so big on dating apps, choose up to six of your favorite photos with great lighting. I’d recommend one or two relatively recent profile shots, and while activity shots like kayaking are great, don’t be too far off in those photos. Many users decide on a profile based on the first photo within a few seconds.
-Begin a conversation within the first 24 hours of matching with someone. With millions of active monthly users, it’s easy to become just another match that’s not pursued. Lead with being funny, simple, or endearing, and be responsive if your match replies fast.
For more fantastic insight into online dating, check out this great read from Amazon: 121 First Dates: How to Succeed at Online Dating, Fall in Love, and Live Happily Ever After (Really!)
Be sure to leave a comment to share your thoughts on these dating app truths. And if you found this article helpful, you might want to also check out: 6 Reasons People Lose Interest Suddenly
