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Are You in a Loveless Marriage? Here Are 6 Possible Red Flags

Note From the Author:

“Happily ever after” isn’t like in the movies. It comes with ups and downs. And sometimes, things JUST don’t work out. Find out if it’s the end of the line for you and your spouse before it’s too late!

Do you think you might be living in a loveless marriage?

Every relationship goes through some rough patches. Sometimes, they can stretch into rough months, maybe even turbulent years. Of course, when you said “I Do,” it was with the expectation that you would grow old together.

Even the mere idea of a loveless marriage seemed laughable. But here you are…you’re fighting over the minor things, you feel like you’ve drifted apart, and you don’t see that light at the end of the tunnel.

If you think you’re currently in the middle of a lengthy rough patch and you can’t find an end in sight, it’s a good time to stop and evaluate what you want out of your marriage.

At what point do you take a step back and assess where you are through an objective lens? Sometimes it takes more than perspective. Let’s look at the red flags of a loveless marriage!

Loveless Marriage
Photo by 4 PM production at Shutterstock

Red Flag Of A Loveless Marriage: You Don’t Feel Important Anymore

At the beginning of your marriage, you supported each other’s dreams and aspirations and encouraged each other to go for them. But that attitude seems to be long gone. All that appears to be left is empty silences and cold shoulders.

Now, your partner doesn’t have time to listen to you when you want to sit down and speak with them about what’s bothering you, whether it has to do with your relationship or not. And no matter how much you try to talk to them, your words fall on deaf ears.

The most essential tool in your marriage is communicating the right way with one another, and when you can’t do that, you have to accept that there isn’t that much left in your marriage anymore.

Matrimony starts with couples as best friends and can lead to them becoming enemies or even strangers. This transition happens due to failed expectations, poor communication, and personal failure.

At a certain point, you wake up and realize you’re in a loveless marriage, and you may not even know how you got here!

Red Flag Of A Loveless Marriage: You’ve Been Pulling Away From People You Care About

You’ve likely canceled more than one last-minute dinner with a close friend. It might be because you don’t want to face them. Even when we’re able to make excuses for certain doubts in our minds, it’s challenging to keep them from the people who love us the most.

They’ll read it all over your face. Think about how you behave when you’re around your social circle. Are you avoiding questions? Delivering answers by giving half-truths? Switching subjects? Or maybe you’re simply steering the conversation away from you.

If you feel like you’re not being entirely candid with your closest friends, you’re probably also afraid of looking in the mirror only to find out what you already know: You might be living in a loveless marriage and you can no longer sweep these issues under the rug.

Red Flag Of A Loveless Marriage: You’re Constantly Criticising Each Other

One of the most harmful behaviors in a marriage is when one starts criticizing the other for every little mistake they make. And by being critical, one person’s trying to prove that they’re more superior and can point out their partner’s defects.

This behavior feels demoralizing and insulting. And there comes a certain point when both of you will lose all love and respect for each other.

If one constantly passes negative and vengeful statements about petty issues, this will eventually ruin the connection you worked so hard to build.

Marriage should be about finding a middle ground and living with the shortcomings of each other, remembering the positive things that make them so unique. It’s an inevitable sign that you’re living in a loveless marriage when negative thoughts replace this mentality.

Marriage results from trust and support, and by negating every little thing a significant other does, one loses that initial trust, putting the marriage at stake.

Loveless Marriage
Photo by Prostock-studio at Shutterstock

Red Flag Of A Loveless Marriage: The Intimacy Seems To Have Disappeared

A dry spell is a period of time when you and your partner don’t get dressed up, make a reservation somewhere, and enjoy a good old-fashioned date night.

This can happen for various reasons, like a tight budget, a packed social calendar, home renovation projects, or sheer exhaustion, just to name a few.

But, if you’ve been experiencing a series of dry spells and your date night calendar seems to have disappeared entirely, the situation has gone beyond what’s acceptable, and you can’t look the other way any longer. Physically being together might also seem off.

Being in the presence of one another no longer feels warm and joyful and instead feels awkward and cold. This can appear in body language, like the examples we mentioned above. But it can also be an overwhelming feeling that you don’t want to be near each other anymore.

Red Flag Of A Loveless Marriage: You Begin To Envision Your Life As A Single Person

If there’s not much left in your marriage to look forward to, then these thoughts about escaping it might make you feel optimistic. You begin to fantasize about a future where you won’t have your significant other around, in which your partner plays no part.

This can be a scary revelation. It certainly means that to you, your marriage is a form of captivity, and you’d like nothing better than to escape it.

It frequently happens that, without knowing it, you’re detaching yourself emotionally from your relationship, which is a first step in stepping away from your married life. This officially means you’re no longer in love with your spouse.

While this means bad news for your marriage, it can be your signal to start planning your future the way you want to. After all, isn’t that better than staying in a loveless marriage?

Loveless Marriage
Photo by fizkes at Shutterstock

Red Flag Of A Loveless Marriage: You Repeat The Same Fight, Or You Stop Fighting Altogether

If you feel like your fights are playing on a loop, it’s a sign of a deeper issue. It’s normal for all couples to have arguments from time to time. This is a healthy way they can let off some steam on matters that have been building up for a while.

But if you can’t resolve a particular topic and it keeps coming up over and over again, there’s probably a more fundamental root cause between you, and it might be a sign that you have more than just that particular fight to work out.

And even though having the same fight that plays out on repeat is a sign of trouble, it’s just as unhealthy if you’ve entirely given up arguing. A couple that’s stopped fighting for their relationship has stopped looking forward.

They aren’t thinking about their future together, building one that meets both their needs. They’re simply trying to survive the present.

If you and your partner seem to have thrown in the towel, you should try to open an honest dialogue about why your arguments have stopped and what this means for your marriage.

After reading this list, do you think it’s possible that you’re living in a loveless marriage? Some marriages could greatly benefit from couples’ therapy. Others can’t. Here’s a fantastic read on the matter.

Be sure to make the right decisions for you. Please feel free to share your thoughts with us in the comments section below.

And if you found this article helpful, we’ve got many more on our site that we think you’ll like. We also highly recommend you read: Unknowingly Disrespecting Your Partner: 6 Behaviors to Watch Out For

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