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Spouses Still in Love After Decades Share These 11 Traits

On this episode of DETANGLED


As time went by, my husband and I learned that love takes many forms. When we first met, I used to leave him little poems on his nightstand in the morning (I know, hopeless romantic), while he  fixed my bike. Now, I try to cook his favorite dinner every time I get the chance, and he still fixes my bike! Keeping the flame alive after so many years is a miracle, and I want to share with you what I learned.

Well, if you made it to your 10th anniversary as a couple and you’re still in love, then congratulations! It is a tremendous accomplishment. Ten years with someone is not so ordinary, so it has to mean something. But probably even more impressive than that is still being head-over-heels with someone after a full decade of being together.

If you’re wondering how can you still crush on your partner after 10 years, experts believe there are a few things you need to do. Some couples still have that crush-like feeling, especially those who are incredibly proactive about their relationship, but also about their own lives.

These people don’t like the idea of becoming stagnant and are always trying to improve themselves, along with their relationships. You will never make it to 10 years without putting in a lot of work.

Also, you won’t have that crush-like feeling if you won’t make a constant effort to keep a positive attitude between you two. So if you want to keep crushing on your partner after many years, here’s what you need to know:

senior in love
Photo by Una Shimpraga from Shutterstock

They laugh a lot

Sharing a sense of humor could be incredibly beneficial to your relationship. If you are able to laugh together all the time, then you will successfully keep the spark in your relationship. Many relationship experts advised on this, saying that couples who stop laughing and aren’t silly with each other anymore usually become roommates or just business partners.

They agree to disagree

You will never be able to agree on EVERYTHING, so the sooner you accept this, the sooner you will be able to handle arguments and be ok with each other, even if you have different opinions. The truth is that all couples argue from time to time.

However, those who keep crushing on each other after many years of being a couple know how to handle these issues as fast as possible. They also know that, sometimes, being right or “winning” isn’t what really matters. Their relationship and well-being are what really matter.

They get away together

The easiest thing is to get stuck in a bad routine when you’re going through the motions of your everyday life. One thing that specialists suggest to couples is to travel as much as they can. Getting out of the same dusty environment and routine will wake up new energy in couples, and it will also allow them to connect or reconnect in brand-new ways, without day-to-day distractions.

You can have all kinds of fun experiences to bond over and you could even learn new things about your partner that will have you fall in love all over again.

They focus on communicating

You have to keep the lines of communication, as this is what really builds real and lasting relationships. Of course, there’s absolutely no way to keep crushing on your partner if there’s a huge build-up of resentment and negativity.

As we learned from Dr. Catherine Jackson, a licensed psychologist, and neuro therapist, couples who manage to communicate will argue less and they will be able to handle conflicts better when they happen. The lack of tension that adds up to poor communication might help the couple to experience more joy, which in return, will allow them to continue and crush on each other.

seniors in love
Photo by SeventyFour from Shutterstock

They still date each other

Couples who still date regularly and prioritize spending time together are way more likely to enjoy longevity in their own relationship. As Dr. Jackson confirmed, making a habit out of going out on date nights could give couples something to look forward to.

This is one of the best ways to stay connected and keep things fresh, especially when life gets busy. It also gives you a proper opportunity to get your flirt on.

They always see the bigger picture

When a couple focuses on long-term goals, they deeply understand that any given obstacle they might face is only temporary, as many relationship experts confirmed. Couples who still crush on each other after 10 years know they are able to get through anything that might happen, because they’re not alone, and they feel there’s a partner out there who supports them and understand their needs. This is what really matters.

They’re very kind to each other

Being kind to each other might save you from a lot of conflicts. That’s the only thing that really matters: to be kind to your partner. Home should be that special place that also becomes your refuge from all the pettiness in the world.

When you’re both kind to each other, you are bringing positive energy. It’s the kind of energy you might need to be flirty and stay in love with each other. It’s very hard to crush on someone when they’re moody, cranky, and very rude, and they always bring out the worst in you.

Is there something more important than love in a relationship?

A strong, long-term relationship is one of the most challenging things in life. Finding someone you really want to share your life with is also a blessing. But completely opposite to what most people would think, loving each other is not enough. You need other things to keep on going. Successful relationships require a lot of work to keep both individuals happy and healthy. Ok, such as? Well, let’s see:

seniors in love
Photo by Andrey_Popov from Shutterstock


Probably one of the most important aspects of a relationship is to fully trust one another. You have to naturally trust they will not stray from the relationship, but also trust them with your own feelings. There should be space for vulnerability, both on an emotional and physical level.

A trusting relationship can’t be built overnight, as it requires more time to grow. If you’re at the beginning of the relationship and the trust isn’t fully there, you have to give it time to grow. However, if you’re in a long-term relationship and you still don’t trust your partner, that’s definitely not a good sign.


Vulnerability is a beautiful thing as long as you’re with someone who’s right for you. Opening up to your beloved partner without fearing you’ll be judged is bliss. This way, they will get to know the real you and you can strengthen your relationship together.

But if you don’t allow vulnerability, your relationship might suffer. Your partner might get the sense that you don’t trust them enough to let them in, and if you know that’s partly true, then you should consider changing it. Being vulnerable must be something you’re both willing to do.

Honesty & Loyalty

Honesty is incredibly important in any relationship. Telling lies or hiding away the truth might slowly but surely destroy your relationship. If you’re not being honest with each other, then you’re doomed.

If your relationship is filled with little but significant secrets or even a huge, hurtful one, the truth will still emerge at some point. You’ll both end up being hurt, so what’s the point? Whatever it is, you need to respect each other and be honest. Lies will never solve anything. And from honesty descends loyalty, which is just as crucial. Loyalty is something that you both have to agree upon, and set boundaries together.

If we’ve managed to improve your relationship or the way you see things just a little bit, then we can safely say that our job here is done. Just kidding, there are many other things that you might want to know, such as 5 Reasons Why Spouses Cheat in Retirement, According to Studies

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