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Your Divorce Checklist: 5 Key Questions to Reflect On

Have you ever thought about the divorce checklist questions?

Let’s be honest, all relationships are bound to have some rough patches. But before your mind jumps to splitting up, you should go through the divorce checklist questions. This is a type of self-reflection that is going to be beneficial in the long run, and these questions are going to help you.

In the end, there are lots of things that change throughout a marriage. From attitudes to opinions, your emotions may change about certain topics, you may be subjected to a lot of stress that was not there before, and to be frank, in some cases, boredom starts to settle in.

If you have been thinking about the big question, “Should we divorce?” there are a few questions you should ask yourself so that you go through some self-introspection.

A lot of people are not truly prepared for what divorce and separation entail, and if you want to know whether you are making an informed and good decision for yourself, the divorce checklist is what you should consult!

Keep on reading to discover some of the key questions you should ask yourself if you are considering separating from your spouse!

Has this question ever crossed your mind? Have you ever considered separating from your spouse? What has led you to divorce your spouse? Share your story and your opinions in the comments!

divorce checklist
Image By Oleksandr Yuchynskyi From Shutterstock

Do they meet your emotional needs?

All of us have emotional needs, and your spouse is supposed to be the one person with whom you should not be afraid to share anything.

Be that you are looking for support or looking to connect with someone about certain topics, the one person who should have your back is your spouse.

One of the stops on our divorce checklist is to ask yourself if you can lean on your significant other when it comes to your emotional needs

If you have turned to a friend, a coworker, or a relative in your life for support, then it seems like something is not right there. This happening is also sometimes called “emotional infidelity,” as you are connecting more to others than your other half.

If you feel like you have someone else to be there for you when in reality your spouse should have been there, then you may be right to be thinking about separating from your spouse as some of your needs are not actually met.

No matter your gender, marriage is about connection and taking the time to understand one another. When one side is no longer available or no longer meets your needs, especially when it comes to emotional needs, there are signs and cracks.

Is your spouse trying to change your values and morals?

All of us have our own morals and values, and while sometimes we can change our minds, it is something that happens organically.

It is never something that ends up happening overnight, and part of what makes marriages so good is that you generally find someone who is on the same wavelength as you are.

Surely, there are marriages where people are different, but when you reach a point where you feel like your partner has been trying to change what you think or use your morals and values as an end to a means for their own needs, then you have reached a point on our divorce checklist.

If you have been growing and maturing together with your spouse, but it seems like they have always been trying to change your personality or mold you into something that you are not, you should ask yourself if you are being treated with respect.

If they are trying to change you when there is nothing to change or nothing that would be seen as an issue, just because they want you to change that particular aspect of yourself (be it personal, emotional, or even physical), you have a problem on your hands.

Recognize it for what it is and have a conversation with them. If they dismiss your words, then you may have an even bigger problem on your hands.

divorce checklist
Image By Daniel Jedzura From Shutterstock

What are the circumstances in which this is happening?

While certain situations cannot make you think twice as to why you are thinking about divorce, there are others when you should stop and think about what has been going on that led you to this decision.

Stress is a huge part of our lives, and it can almost be traced back to people being more irritable, overwhelmed, anxious, and even depressed.

This is not something that will excuse anything that your spouse said or did that has made you feel bad, but you should think about what happened that led to it happening and also how you are feeling.

When you are really stressed, even the smallest things can seem like huge things, and if both parties are stressed, then those are pretty much good grounds for a fight.

Everyone is entitled to their feelings, and you have every right to be upset, but make sure that you are also not under stress.

See if there has been just a rough period, as people have had bad years in their marriage, or if there is a pattern that keeps repeating, if there is a theme that keeps happening, or if it seems like a momentary thing.

Depending on the answer to this question, you will know if you need to talk to your spouse about changing up some things or if you are truly going down the path of divorce.

If you feel like all your conversations with your spouse end up in a fight, make sure you both know how to communicate effectively. This book here has helped a lot of people, and it is an affordable way to give your relationships another chance!

Do you feel empowered by your relationship with your spouse?

Feeling empowered in a marriage is an important part of the relationship you have with your spouse. And you can easily find out if you are empowered or not by answering some questions that make up this item on our divorce checklist.

  • Think about your relationship with your partner, and then ask yourself the following questions:
  • Do you have to give up on all your dreams to support your spouse?
  • Do you find it difficult to make some decisions because you know that no matter what, you will end up fighting?
  • Are you scared to tell your spouse no due to how any of you will react?
  • Do you feel like you can speak your mind on any topic?
  • Do you feel scared when it comes to advocating for yourself?
  • Have you been left out of plans that your spouse made for the two of you when you should have been included?

If you find yourself answering yes to any of these questions, then you should thoroughly consider if you are actually empowered and seen by your relationship.

A lot of the time, spouses can end up assuming things about us even if they hurt us, and if you have brought them up and nothing changed, then you should be reconsidering your relationship.

If you have never said anything but have never felt empowered, then you should be having an important conversation with your spouse to see where you can make changes for the betterment of your relationship.

divorce checklist
Image By Andrii Yalanskyi From Shutterstock

Are you always the one who is compromising?

Let’s be honest, compromise is an integral part of marriages, as all relationships are about adjusting and willingly making room for someone in your home and heart.

Yet, keep in mind that this is always supposed to be a two-way street. You are not supposed to feel like you are always giving in, adjusting, and letting your partner have the last word and decide everything.

Compromises are supposed to be about equally giving in and winning something: you yield on something, but you get something else that you value more.

For example, you go on a vacation together and you both go fishing, but you also attend a wine and paint class together!

That way, you both do something that you enjoy, or you compromise and find other activities that bring you both happiness. If you go on a vacation and you only do what you want or what your spouse wants, then that is neither an equal marriage nor a true compromise.

If you’re always in the position of letting things go, compromising, or letting the other person have it their way, then you have a problem on your hands. If you are already angry due to this, you should seriously think about discussing this or about the separation if there is no middle ground to be found.

There may be a chance to mend your marriage, but at the same time, there could be something that has happened that you cannot forget. Divorce can sometimes be extremely isolating, but know that you are not alone. If you are curious to see why other people are divorcing, make sure you read about the most common reasons people separate here!

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