Here’s What Couples Recommend for A Blissful Marriage:
In the first few months or years, relationships are extremely easy. That’s exactly when you feel you will live a blissful marriage, that you’ve met your soulmate, and that your love story is about to begin.
In the beginning, relationships are fun, exciting, steamy, and filled with love. You flatter each other first and have a lot of fun. But the more comfortable you get, you can also become more complacent.
If you’re still wondering how to be happy in a relationship in the long haul, we talked with some couples from a wide range of ages to find out how they maintained their blissful marriages over time!
Be generous when it comes to compliments and small gestures.
In case you missed it, one of the secrets to a blissful marriage is giving others love and appreciation. In fact, research shows that the happiest people are also more grateful, especially when they engage in constant acts of kindness.
Termed the “counting kindness intervention”, when those couples remember to make a conscious effort regarding their own behavior, they also have more satisfaction in their love lives.
Blissful marriages flourish when you take the time to compliment your partner and do all the little things that would make their life easier. This could also include:
- helping or doing chores that your partner might not like
- Preparing your love’s morning beverage
- bringing home dessert from your spouse’s favorite place
- planning a surprise date night in the middle of the week
- Getting the kids ready so your spouse can sleep for a couple of extra minutes
Learn each other’s love language.
According to Dr. Gary Chapman, a veteran marriage counselor, there are five languages of love, and you could try to use each one of them to build a blissful marriage. If you want to try the audio version of his book, click here!
There’s physical touch, spending quality time together, words of affirmation, acts of service, and gifts. These are the main ways that people give and receive love.
In some instances, your partner’s love language doesn’t match yours, and that shouldn’t be a reason to worry. What really matters is that you know your preferences and those of your loved ones, and you manage to connect on a deeper level.
If you’re wondering why it’s so important, well, let’s say your love language is spending time together, but your partner is giving gifts. If your partner gifts you something and you don’t seem too excited, you might seem ungrateful.
On the same note, if you prepare a special dinner under the candlelight and he or she doesn’t seem impressed, you might feel neglected and unappreciated.
Find hobbies to enjoy together.
Do you remember the dating stage? When you’re still excited to try new and exciting things because you’re so eager to spend time with the one you love.
However, once you become comfortable, it’s much easier to let your significant other go off and enjoy their alone time while you also engage in something you find more interesting.
Well, if you want to stay in a blissful marriage, you need to make time for each other. Happy couples would advise you to find things to do together because together time is just as important as alone time.
Keep on learning about each other.
Humans are very complex creatures, and I bet that for none of us, the usual “how was your day?” is actually enough. Happy couples want to keep connecting on a deeper level.
What do they dream about? What are their main career goals? What skills do they wish they had? What do they want to change about their lives?
Probably the best way to maintain your blissful marriage is to fully invest in it. Don’t be afraid to ask all the tough questions and inquire about various topics.
Don’t stew for too long; try to speak up when issues arise.
Well, now comes the big question: what really happens in a relationship when problems arise? Many of the blissful marriages that are built on solid foundations will say the same thing: they voice their issues when they come up, and they make sure they do so in a calm and collected manner.
It’s also very important to remember that just because something annoys you doesn’t mean that you also have to yell. Asking your partner to take a well-deserved break from what he or she is doing to discuss something might seem like a huge inconvenience, but it can also be the easiest way to alert them to your needs and facilitate the much-needed change.
Pick your battles.
When it comes to fighting, happy and blissful marriages agree to disagree. Some arguments might matter, but you should always ask yourself: What am I really gaining from being right?
If the reward is that small, is it really worth it? Just put your pride away, and when things don’t work, just do what Elsa says: let it go!
Remember to say “I love you” before going to bed, even if you’re upset with each other.
Disagreements might happen every now and then, but there’s nothing we ask people from blissful marriages about if they go to bed angry. Moreover, it seems that science backs this precious piece of sage advice, and it’s simpler than you’d expect: when you get to bed angry, your sleep is ruined.
Well, see the connection? It might prolong the conflict the next day. As it turns out, conflict resolution is more effective when both partners are well-rested. If either of them slept poorly, it might affect his or her understanding of their partner’s feelings but also resolve the issue.
Work as a team.
This is a huge piece of advice for happy couples who are also parents. As you might know already, staying at home with the kids can be a full-time job, just like work.
That also means that household chores can turn out to be quite stressful. And when it comes to the house, you are equal partners. The whole responsibility shouldn’t fall on only one parent.
Put in 110% and expect absolutely nothing in return.
No one can fully give you their all, 100% of the time. When your relationship reaches this point, it’s only understandable that you need a break.
There might be days where you give more than you get, and truth be told, part of being in a healthy relationship is knowing that you can lean on your partner when you need to breathe.
Check-in and play throughout the day.
Except for sleep, a US Administration of Children and Families survey focused on married couples spending time together discovered that the average couple only spends no more than four hours in the same room together.
This also includes an hour of television time and up to an hour of household duties. Unless you also work together, you rarely get to spend good time with each other.
Couples with blissful marriages would advise you to change this old habit by using technology. Send constant text updates about your day, share things that make you laugh, and play texting games to stay connected to each other.
If you found this article interesting, we also recommend reading: Relationship Deal-Breakers: 6 Things You Should Never Accept From Someone