On this episode of DETANGLE
Can you see from the first date if they’re a keeper or not?
Many of us wondered if that was possible. Well, from my experience, there are no clear signs that can tell you if they are the perfect match or not, but these indicators can almost certainly help you decide if you want to go on a second date.
You know what first dates feel like! You get dressed in your best clothes, put on that special perfume, and leave your home with those butterflies in your stomach.
First dates might be a little bit exciting, a little bit awkward, and sometimes total disasters. But once in a while, you get the chance to meet really great folks or even the love of your life.
Since this is such a novel experience you usually learn a lot of things about your date. You start analyzing them since they entered the room and you’re trying to pick up cues that can tell you more about their personality.
But are there really signs that can indicate if your date has the potential to be a good long-term partner?
While it’s hard to predict whether you and your date are going to be a good match, these factors can help you determine if your date has a higher chance of being a good partner in the future.
They seem to genuinely care about you and your life
We will start by saying that communication is one of the cornerstones of a happy relationship. Let’s say that you and this person are going out for your first date. You two greet each other, start talking for a little bit, and everything seems to be OK, right?
Suddenly, your date takes over the conversation, and I suppose that was it. The date is kind of over. Nothing is more awkward than going on a date and never having the chance to talk. Once one person dominates the discussion, it can feel more like a one-man show than a date.
When the person you are seeing controls the conversation, you get to learn about them and their lives, but it’s such a torrent of words that you may get bored, especially if you can’t add anything to the discussion.
If they can’t stop talking, it’s difficult to tell if they’re interested in you. The same goes for the opposite scenario when they expect you to handle all of the conversations.
If your date does one of the things mentioned above, there is a big chance that they are not really interested in you or your life. What is our advice? Maybe you should move along and try to find someone else.
However, if they pay attention to what you are saying to them and you can have a genuine conversation with them, this is a very good sign of compatibility on a first date.
They meet your standards for a future partner
Let’s be real. We all have expectations regarding our future life partners. We may like for them to share our tastes in movies or vacation destinations. Or, on a more serious note, perhaps we want them to want the same things in life that we do, whether it’s having children, marrying, or anything else.
With all that being said, sometimes we are not sure about what we are looking for in a new romantic partner. This can make the whole process of finding someone to share your life with a little more difficult.
If you don’t know what you desire from a partner, determining if the person you’re seeing is a good match might be challenging. It’s important to think about why you’re dating and whether you’re looking for a long-term relationship.
So, if you know what you want and the one you’re seeing is on the same page as you, this is a great sign that you two are compatible.
They seem to be content with their life
When your date talks about their lives, you might truly experience a sense of tranquility. Some kind of firm serenity, if that makes sense. They might even sound like they have everything sorted out or like they know where they are heading.
This is usually the case when you find someone who is happy with their life. Your date tells you about his or her hobbies; they have many friends with whom they get along great, and they also indicate that they are ready to start something with you.
This is one of the best signs when you are about to enter a relationship! This means that your potential partner is not going to rely on you for their happiness. And don’t get us wrong now.
It is obvious that your partner is going to be happy with you, but they will not be dependent on you to maintain their well-being.
You don’t feel judged by your date
Your date should respect your opinions while remaining loyal to their thoughts and ideas.
It’s completely okay and normal to look at things from different angles. And in the case their perspectives are a lot different from yours, they should remember to acknowledge and credit you.
It’s fantastic if they agree on just about everything, but do you know what is so much better? It’s that moment when they respect your views, even if they differ from their own.
A good date is one in which you feel free and are allowed to express yourself openly and honestly without being concerned about being judged or shamed.
In the end, if you wish to develop a deeper connection, like a long-term relationship, you must be accepting and considerate of one another.
They are self-aware of themselves and their life
It’s a generally known good sign if a person shows overall self-awareness, which includes being conscious of their emotions, behaviors, goals, ambitions, concerns, and tendencies, as well as the way their actions may affect others.
If your new date gives you clues they spend time reflecting on their experiences and attempting to better understand who they are it is more likely that they are actually careful about how they behave in relationships and are able to recognize problems when they arise.
Self-awareness also implies that they will be able to see and accept when they are the problem, and they will also try to make things better.
It is really important to be a good listener and communicator since these traits can help you find out more about people. If you can keep a conversation flowing, it might be easier for the person you are seeing to share with you more personal things like the one mentioned above.
They are kind to everyone, not just you
If your new date treats you with kindness, what more can we say? It’s a big green flag! They are concerned about your emotions and well-being, and they make an effort to treat you nicely.
Importantly, they aren’t picky in their kindness; they’re just as nice when you have to cancel at the last minute as they are if they know they’ll be going home with you. Also, when you two are having arguments, they are still kind and gentle.
They also show the same compassion and care to everyone involved in their lives, including their mothers, friends, servers, and even ex-partners.
How they treat the other people in their lives is a mirror of how they will eventually treat you after the two of you are more settled in your relationship. No one is flawless, but generally speaking, you wish to get into a long-term relationship with someone who wants the best for everyone.
If you want to find out more about red flags and green flags when dating, this book might help you.
You should also check out: 9 Signs They Will Ask For a Second Date