Detangle Love presents: tips to overcome imposter syndrome in your relationship!

While the term imposter syndrome is typically associated with personal goals and the workplace, it’s one of the main problems of a modern romantic relationship, as experts say. If you have this issue, you might notice that you have the impression you doubt your skills, achievements, and talents, and you no longer have confidence in your qualifications, although you are.

Unfortunately, this can also happen in your romantic relationship, and it can’t be good for you and your partner. The imposter syndrome can make you feel anxious and unworthy of your significant other. Before we talk about all the ways to deal with these triggering feelings, we have to say a few words about what you might experience. Let’s take a look!

You don’t feel like your true self

When you have imposter syndrome, you might feel like your partner only sees a version of you—the one that you want them to see. You believe that you only play a part and pretend to be someone else. As you can guess, you’re scared that your significant other will discover this sooner or later and won’t like it.

You don’t feel worthy

This one is pretty bad, and it can take you to a dark place. You might feel like you’re insufficient, you don’t do enough, and you don’t deserve some of the things that are in your life. This can lead to distorted opinions of your relationship because you put your SO on a pedestal while constantly beating yourself down.

You doubt your partner’s feelings

When you don’t have a good impression of yourself, you might think that the only reason your partner loves you is because they’re lying. This can make you feel insecure and even jealous of people in your partner’s life because you have this idea that you’re not worthy of them and they will replace you sooner or later.

You focus on shortcomings

If you’re focused too much on your flaws rather than on your qualities, you might start thinking that there’s no point for you in the relationship, and you only take it down rather than helping it evolve and flourish.

You always expect the worst

When you have imposter syndrome and you think that everything about you is bad, you might think that you don’t deserve all the good things in your life, and you constantly wait for them to be taken away from you. Instead of letting yourself enjoy the moment and focusing on the part that’s half full in your glass, you prepare for the worst-case scenario.

…Unfortunately, imposter syndrome can make you feel anxious and sad all the time. Instead of being happy about all the good things in your life, everything feels like a bomb that’s about to go off. Here are some easy ways to kick the annoying feeling out of your mind:

1. Know your triggers

Everyone has their triggers, and if you want to stop imposter syndrome from ruining your relationship, you need to identify yours. Work on your self-awareness and pay attention to the moments and situations that make you feel like you’re not enough. By doing so, you’ll learn more about yourself, and you’ll have the chance to cope with them.

2. Focus on the facts

Experts say that people who experience imposter syndrome are more likely to think emotionally rather than rationally. Instead of letting your dangerous thoughts take over, stop for a moment and change the narrative.

Focus on the facts: think about your qualities and the things that make you unique and special. Once you know what your strengths are and what you bring to the relationship, you can start working on your confidence, and things will change for the better.

3. Accept compliments

If you feel like you’re not worthy of your partner’s love, you might have a hard time accepting their compliments. That’s not the right attitude, and if you want to escape imposter syndrome, it’s time to accept those compliments and say thank you.

Even though your insecurities might want to take over, I’m pretty sure that your partner’s compliments are genuine. To make things even better, make an international effort and compliment your partner as well. I can guarantee they’ll be happy.

4. Be honest with your partner

This is one of the best things you could do to save your relationship. Your partner deserves to know what happens in your mind and why it is hard for you to accept their compliments and love. Tell them how you feel, what your triggers are, and why you need constant reassurance. A simple and honest discussion with your significant other will help them know where you’re coming from, and they’ll know how to help you.

5. Write down the things you love about yourself

According to experts, deep down at its core, imposter syndrome is nothing more than a low self-confidence issue. I know it might be easy for you to be negative and only think about the things you don’t like, which is why I want to challenge you to write down all the things that you love about yourself.

Take a pen and a notebook, or open the Notes app on your phone, and start writing. You can put down all the things you like about yourself, such as your patience, your beauty, your communication skills, your attitude toward family life, your loyalty, or whatever you want. When your negativity takes over, grab your list and remember who you are. You’ve got this!

6. Prioritize self-care

I know that we live in a world where we have to constantly be on the go, but don’t forget to take some time to relax and do all the things that bring you joy. These chilled-out activities will cheer you up and give you a break, which will help you have a healthier mindset and therefore leave imposter syndrome behind.

7. Face your fears

People with imposter syndrome are scared to get too close to someone because they might think you’re a fraud. Instead of withdrawing and making you feel sad thinking you could’ve done things differently, face your fears and open up to your partner about everything you might be thinking. You’re more likely to be accepted and supported, so try it.

8. Stop thinking you have to be perfect

I know you’ve heard this times and times over, but it is true, and we have to talk about it one more time: nobody is perfect and nobody will ever be. Some people living with imposter syndrome might feel the pressure to be perfect because they don’t want their negative thoughts to take over, but you can cause more harm than good.

When you can’t sustain perfect behavior, you will fall short and end up feeling like a fraud, which is imposter syndrome at its finest. Take the pressure off your shoulders and accept the fact that you and your partner will continue to learn and grow together. You’ll make mistakes, but you’ll become better versions of yourselves, and that’s all that matters.

9. Ask for help

If none of these tips work for you or if you want a professional to help you feel better and overcome imposter syndrome, therapy is the best thing you can do for yourself. A professional will help you understand yourself better, they’ll know which buttons to push and how to guide you. Don’t be scared to ask for help because it’s going to be wonderful in the long run! Take care!

What do you think about these methods to overcome imposter syndrome? Have you ever experienced any of these symptoms? How did you make it through? Let us know in the comments below!

If you enjoyed reading this article and you want to check out something else from Detangle Love, here’s a good post for you: Wondering if He’s Into You? 10 Signs to Look For