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5 Signs Your Partner Fantasizes About Somebody When They’re With You

DETANGLE’s Insight


Unfortunately, it is not uncommon! My first husband did this more often than not. And it didn’t help that he was also a pathological liar! Through the years, I talked with close friends and realized that a lot of their wives or husbands did this, which broke their hearts. Believe us, it is better to learn the signs than to be blissfully ignorant!

Is your partner showing signs they are thinking about someone else when they are with you?

It is not something we want to think about; the idea that our partner is not 100% faithful is a hard pill to swallow, especially if we have been together for a long time. However, it is something that can happen to anyone, even if you have been together for years. A lot of people end up fantasizing about different scenarios, and for some, it can even lead to them trying out new things when they want to be intimate.

However, this is not the type of fantasizing we are talking about! Some people end up thinking about other people in a more serious capacity, and if your partner ends up thinking about being with other people when they should be present with you, it becomes a huge issue and a big red flag. Sure, some people would never act on these fantasies, and they just end up staying just that, but do you really want to be with someone who thinks about being with someone else?

Yeah, we also didn’t like that option! This is why we brought you the most common signs that your partner is thinking about someone else, so you can stop worrying whether or not it is happening!

Let us know if you have seen other signs you would like to see on our list in the comments!

argument, partner
Photo by 4 PM production from Shutterstock

No.1 They are distracted

Yeah, we know. People use the word “distracted” more often than not, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be on the lookout for it. Being distracted can be caused by a lot of things and factors, and you shouldn’t jump to the conclusion that your partner is definitely no longer interested in you and thinking about someone else. Work, family members, friends, a new hobby, and even television can be a distraction, and you immediately imagine the worst.

However, when it seems like your partner’s mind is always in the clouds and they are more often than not distracted and not present in the moment with you, you should start to question it. It could be a sign that they need some help, it could be a sign of some health issues, or it could just be one of the starting signs that point to your partner fantasizing about someone else.

It could be something minor, but anything that ends up occupying your partner’s mind so much can end up impacting your relationship in a significant way.

No.2 They avoid eye contact

Refusing to make eye contact ends up being a huge red flag for a lot of people, and it can also be one of the biggest signs that your partner is thinking about someone else. After all, why wouldn’t they look at you when you’re talking?

In some cases, this indicates that the other is daydreaming about another person they may have just met or is making up scenarios with other people in their head. Sometimes it can also mean they are not present in the conversation because they are thinking about scenarios involving the two of you. Even so, it is still a bit weird that they no longer hold eye contact when you are talking.

But you should also not be happy to jump to conclusions. It could be the case that your partner struggles with eye contact, and this has been the case for years in your relationship. This is one of those cases where you should not end up thinking they are fantasizing about someone else since it is something that happens often. However, if it happens more and more frequently, you should talk to your partner about it!

Micro-Cheating, partner
Photo by Antonio Guillem at Shutterstock

No.3 They have sudden personality changes

A lot of people think that this is not something that happens outside the realm of TV series and movies, but it is something that people actually deal with. It is not pleasant to realize that your partner is no longer paying the same attention to you, and it is even more unpleasant to see that they are not treating you the same way they used to.

This personality change can indicate a variety of issues, ranging from something minor, such as your partner feeling insecure or jealous, to more serious issues, such as them thinking about someone else and being disappointed in their reality, and thus lashing out, all the way to being a major red flag of infidelity!

Of course, everyone has different personalities, and everyone adjusts their personality depending on the people they are with. Thus, when you are with people, you do not know that you will be acting differently, but this does not mean that you will be changing your personality around your partner. Especially since you are supposed to be the most comfortable being just you with the person you are sharing your life with.

So, if your partner’s personality has suddenly changed, you should talk to them about it because it indicates a problem.

Either way, all of these signs point to the fact that your partner needs a refresher on manners! What better way to gently remind them than with a book

No.4 Always talking about others

This is a definite sign that they are not thinking about you at all; if anything, their mind may always be occupied with thinking about others. It has been shown through research that people who are in relationships end up telling things to their partners in order to seek their approval about certain matters. It is known that sometimes our brains may be tricking us and revealing more than we may want, and this is one of those cases.

Your partner may not even be aware they are doing this, but when they end up always talking about others, especially about how wonderful they think others are, you should start asking yourself some questions. That is the time to pay more attention to what they say and how they act, because your suspicions may be right, and the next step from fantasizing is cheating!

It could also be the case that they are not fantasizing, but rather that they no longer find you interesting or enough for them. which is even more hurtful!

No.5 Maybe you have even seen it!

It may not be a feeling or even a suspicion you are having! It can very well happen that you have caught signs that your partner is not present in your relationship, and you are actually ignoring them, thinking it could not be something as serious as them fantasizing about someone else. It is something we all do; we think the best of our partners. However, sometimes the signs are just there, and we choose to close our eyes when we see them!

And no, this is not a weird way of showing you how much they love and appreciate you by imagining themselves with someone else only to realize they have everything they would want next to them. It is a red flag. And if you happen to catch them saying someone else’s name instead of yours, then you should be even more suspicious that they are thinking about someone else. Especially if it occurs during a private moment.

Save yourself the headache, and if this occurs, have a difficult conversation with your partner to confront them about whether or not they are thinking about someone else!

Do you think your partner may have fallen in love with you? Make sure you’re looking out for these red flags that something of the sort may be going on!

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