When you think they like you, or you like them
If you think your married friend likes you or the other way around in a “more than friends” kind of way, it may be time to mark that friendship as improper. By this, we mean one or both of you have romantic feelings for the other person.
It won’t help your relationship if you keep meeting with someone you love or know is in love with you.
And if you’re constantly thinking about your married friend before going to sleep at night and them breaking up with their spouse to be with you, … then it might be time to consider that you have an inappropriate friendship with a married man, and you should think about squashing it.
The bottom line is that if you’re in a committed relationship and you have feelings for someone who’s not your spouse, or you think your friend might have feelings for you … then it’s time to put some distance between you and that “friend” for your relationship’s sake.
31 responses
My bff is a married man. I am married too. And we are bff for more than 25 years today. At first, my hubby were a little jealous but as time passes they became friends as so his wife. Actually we can get together in armory. Just as two couples of friends. No more trouble at all. Because when between a couple there is confidence and trust, everything is possible.
Agree when all energies are equal and the same everything works well as married friends
Hi Gwen, though the result is now harmonious, it took a process of time and some “trouble” for both spouses to get there. As you said, initially your hubby was a “little jealous” and your BFF’s wife eventually became part of your friendship circle. That is the whole point–when married couples have friends or BFFs of the opposite sex, it is vital to the marriage bond to include the spouse to that established friendship, otherwise “trouble, e.g., jealousy, quarrels, etc.” may/will wreak havoc on the marriage. You are absolutely right that trust in a relationship makes it possible; and I am sure you also put into action love, respect, transparency, and consideration for your husband as proof that he has nothing to worry about. You did a great job creating a bigger friendship circle; I hope you and your hubby grow into being BFFs if you haven’t already. I am married and I love having friends, but in my heart of hearts and because of my faith, I truly believe the marriage relationship should have the best of the best before anyone else (as much as possible anyway). Thanks for your post.
Adultery is not only physical but also. spiritual. So god help you.
Well I read an history that they exchange partners and they were ok … Because well they do not need to fighting they figure out both parnerts could benefit they caught they parnerts cheating then they decided to do the same then everything came to light then the second couple that started cheating say don’t worries keep doing we already get over it .. we are Doing the same and then all agree sometime they exchange woman for days …. Well both men and women get something as well 😎😎😎😎
Your BFF wants to sleep with you and your husband knows it or he’s a cuck. Give it time and watch it implode.
The best is to let go of any intimate relationship outside your marital life. Otherwise one may be courting danger. Don’t ever underestimate the power of the opposite sex.
That is true…..
Fortunately I’m beyond that stage and not exactly sought after. I can say I had past experiences where what i did was innocent being friends with people. I had no idea the women had other ideas. It’s difficult situation being I was married maybe two years and wanted to no one but my wife.
I found when a woman decides she wants you she does things that just amazes you. You need to be careful with how you approach a friendship and just keep a safe distance meaning when you feel the heat being turned up put out the fire unless you want to go for the ride. Always consider what you have and may be loosing.
Correct! It’s possible to feel attracted to numerous others, but a rarely are suitable mates!
Sorry but after 3 marriages I can safely say that married women having a male best friend is not only improper but a great way for a wife to have some one to complain to and rationalize into a convenient affair and for the dude to find himself seduced by a version of reality only presented from one side. Uh uh bullshit!
You said it right,because we,both sex have a sinful heart,and we see or smell someone we want,sin takes over and it Begins,i know i been their,done that,i believe because i didn’t have jesus in my heart and sin takes over our desires.
Totally agreed
A shoulder to cry on is just the next🥒 to ride on! Been there some that got 2 t-shirts.
Please. Stop with this division. I am married and have married women friends, including my publisher. Poor advice based on the idea all men and women are untrustworthy.
I don’t believe it is a trustworthy issue! I dislike generalizing so allow me to explain how I was enlightened! For me it became a subtle intimacy issue. It was innocent at first and I thought nothing of it until my male friend started to rely on hearing my voice or reasoning through many situations.? Then I realized that he had began to put me in a place that only his spouse and God should hold. I say God because that’s what our friendship started from sharing the word of God! It has been my experience that words carry power and my sharing that power or exchange over time created chemistry, dependency and a bond that I diverted back to his spouse when I realized what was happening. I stopped the communication cold turkey once I realized he wasn’t adhering to my concerns of discomfort continuing to communicate without his wife’s presence or knowledge. I put myself in her shoes!!
So agree with you. I work in a male dominate work place and I have and will always say rather work with a room for of men then a bunch of gossipy women any day. Nothing ever happened and made some great friends who got to know my husband as well. Beside why target that women can’t have make friends but seem like you are saying men can have women friends.
We deceive ourselves so much that we think we can get away with it. Somebody pretending to be friends with a married person usually wants more and they would want to get it.
They would rather they would have been the one in their wive’s or husband’s position. Deceit
Thank you!
I have a friend I would like to see from my past of over 40 years. Thanks for the straight forward advice…
One thing to keep in mind…Both of you are different people now.
Nothing has changed since the caveman could provide for the cavewoman. Women will manipulate what is best for themselves.
Men manipulate what is best for themselves also. Both men and women need to stop trying to trick each other through manipulation and maneuvering and learn to speak together carefully and lovingly.
I loved this topic, although I recently am in a committed relationship now. I was friends with a married man, which I found out later he was married, things got wonky and he started to get too friendly and was making intimate remarks, as much as I wanted to get more involved, I started to think about his wife and started to feel convicted. The final conviction was when he sent me a Christmas gift. Totally inappropriate (sexy lingerie from Victoria Secret) I immediately felt for his wife, to me this lingerie should’ve been sent to her, I sent it back and unfriended him. It’s a blessing for me because I felt relieved about this situation.
Men and women cannot be “just” friends. Sooner or later one will cross the line.
Exactly thats what my soon to ex husband did to me
i have many male friends and my husband knows none of my male friends never made no passes towards me i done do friends and my husband trust me to the fullest my friend could come by my house anytime I DONT DO FRIENDS NEVER HAVE my husband trust me and will leave the house i and my friend are there alone i don’t play those games and i have a lot of male strictly friends
I am SO sorry, but sum’n just doesn’t sound right about a man leaving his wife in the house alone w/another man. I ain’t buying it. Either he doesn’t care, or HE has sum’n on the side. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone on this train of thought…..
After somehow managing to get himself fired when our youngest was 2 months old, my ex finally found a job that paid half what his old job did. I changed positions to a hirer-paying job and then got a part-time job to make up the difference. He mentioned that someone who he worked with had commented that he was always wearing racing T-shirts. I didn’t realize. I was too busy taking care of a newborn and working two jobs. It took about a year for me to be less distracted and notice he wasn’t doing any of the work at home. I switched cars with a friend and followed him to the co-worker’s apartment. When I knocked on the door, he didn’t even have the nerve to answer the door. I filed for divorce that day and had the locks changed. He still lives in those ratty apartments that he called ‘Deer Tick’ in the town that he made fun of as being not as good as this one. The best part is that his friends finally feel comfortable enough to tell me how they feel about him and they are laughing behind his back. (some friends) Meanwhile, I met my late husband, bought a house, started a business, started another, and another and bought rental properties and there he is slowly circling the drain. He even stole from our children’s college fund that I was the only one funding. I went on over a dozen cruises with my late husband and all that dufus could do for a good time was go to a local race track and watch cars circle to the left. Our Priest explained it as water seeks its own level, and there was no way that I would ever be able to keep him from sinking into that trashpit that he feels comfortable with.
Men and Women can be “friends”. FRI=Friday, ENDS=Focus. On Friday shift ends focus on your relationship. There is no such thing as crossing the line. A line has no ending. Put your love in a box. Each box has a weight and space limit.
That’s where it all starts…innocently…then suddenly you are in a full blown relationship! Because He complains to her, and she to him about their lovers or spouse; then before you know it, they turn to each other for comfort. The rest is history!
The laws of attraction there are reasons why men and women become attracted to one another! There is always something in the back of their minds even the smallest thought!