They don’t have future plans with you
When you’re deeply in love, all you’re dreaming of is to share your future with the other person. However, if your partner seems awfully uncomfortable or even unwilling to talk about his/her future, it could be a sign that they’re not that invested in this relationship.
Besides, this could also be a sign that your partner is scared to commit. If they’re not ready to fully commit, it could be due to the fact that they never planned on having a future with you. They might not even want to bother making long-term plans with you, which could indicate that they aren’t looking to settle down anytime soon.
62 responses
50 years married, I wish I had read this last year
Take heed young lovers, this was how my hubby was, guess what he had an affair. So keep this list handy.
Never too old to learn
Sorry to hear that Patsy. I was wondering if you are from Compton . I was a little 2-3 yr old girl and I had a friend named Patsy. Could it be you?
After 50 years I hope you did not divorce@ Mary
Funny thing after being married about 30 years or more, we had a little family issue on her side and I am now banned from going to this one niece and nephews home. She still goes there for any kind of family function, but I was told I’m not welcome. I don’t know if I should give her a hard time about it or just forget about it but I can’t believe that my wife would side with her nephew taking him and his family over me. We’re now married 40 years and it’s still going on.
Sorry. Married 20 years, same thing. He’s been with his soul mate and others for 22 years.
boy do I hear ya…..mine was this way….and a narcissist….I had 56 years of it and he had affairs.
I’m so sorry to hear that. My story is similar… it happened to me after 18 years.
As long as we are alive , life will continue to bring surprises .. lol .. something tells me that during your 50 years , you weathered many storms and waited for the sun to shine again .. I’m curious to know how that works 😉 I’m in love with, it’s new , however I’m at an age where I intend for this to be my best and last relationship! That’s the Prayer .
Thank you for your post 😍
Women always say their men had an affair. What I ask myself is this: what led to the affair? What was your contribution to it? Years of neglect by woman towards a career or raising kids or purely from resentments of past disputes are usually the major cause for couples to grow apart wherein affairs, separation and divorce grow and tear the marriage apart. It takes two to tango. This is a man that once loved you the question should be what went wrong and how long were the problems allowed to fester and why.
can you send me a pic of you .
A lot to consider!
send me a pic
Sad, how life never seems to bring what you expect it to.
I agree Ed …there’s always surprises along the way~
I lost my husband last year, and with his death went our beautiful marriage of over 52 years. I am saddened to read about others who have not had the blessing of having been married to a wonderful man. I miss my husband every minute of every day. He was a remarkable man with a heart that belonged completely to me, and mine to him.
I lived with these examples for a long time at one point he did tell me he was no longer in love with me when we changed our situation and was supposed to take time to be working on it we traveled from campground to Campground posting and it was good for the first two and a half years and then all the sudden all but a couple of these signs were happening and when I finally put my foot down he couldn’t put his shoes on fast enough to get the hell out of there pay attention to the signs women they are there I’m not brokenhearted anymore because not being loved and feeling like you’re alone sucks and now I’m by myself but don’t feel alone like I did with him
Hi: I am still recovering from surgery with Stage 3 Breast Cancer have been married for 25 years. In the begining my husband half helped me. I thought we were in love. I had been home 5 days from the hospital and he kept complaining drunk saying he was going to kill me by morning and he did not love me anymore. Called the police because I was scared. I am so disappointed and he has been saying for the past 3 years he don’t like me. I thought it was because he was drunk. I had enough he is in jail. For threatening me he will only do 30 days he did not physically hurt me
CB
Unhappy and Happy at the daytime
I lost my husband too quite a few few years ago. I’ve been almost 30. Trust me you will never find another one you can’t trust people know they’re liars cheaters so no when they’re gone they’re gone when they’re a good person you’ll never find another one.
that frame of mind is unhealthy, Madam. not for you, only, but others who see your turmoil. I will not deny it does happen (having witnessed 1st hand my mother going through 5 marriages and none yielding much). but my point is they are there. now whether or not you have the motivation and the patience, (or time in some cases) to let or make that occur… majority rules and you’re it.
I’ve never be cheated on my lady ever I never will we are in love and I totally trust her we are not married but been together 10 plus years now living together we still love and she isy best friend and I’m her best friend not sure if we will ever get married it is good now why change anything
I would’ve known that was you even if I couldn’t see your name. That is awesome that you share that. It is a beautiful love story. I am glad you had him all those years. Nobody could have loved him more than you and vice versa. What a blessing! You kept the Lord the center of your of your relationship and that made a big difference!
Love you to the moon and back! Jackie
Same with me — we had a love that I know few people get to experience and I am so grateful!
You were blessed to have that. I have always wanted it, but I must have chosen a different path for this life. He still is with you and will always be there with you. Look for the signs💞🤍🕯️🕊️
Congratulations on such a long marriage. Like my parents, they were married almost 70 years.
Super Amazing to hear Bonnie . I believe I have an amazing man too .
Bonnie, that is Beautiful, some of Us are not that fortunate.
That’s wonderful….sorry for your loss.
We will be married 43 years in June.
Neither of us has thought about cheating.
We are soulmates!
God bless you, nowadays there is so many reasons that you might feel trapped in a relationship, even though you know that person don’t love you no more , and you decided to stay because that person is sick and 30 years makes you feel vulnerable to start all over agdd as in
Wow what an eye opener, I ve had gut feelings about many things…Thank you
send a pic , love to see who u are
36 years of marriage, I should have kept my wits and never fallen to her treachery as she blackmailed me into remarrying her even though I wanted to stay as friends. Living with a narcissist and being gaslighted by her. Now I have been separated from her not legally, she refuses to divorce me, even though she tells me that she did but never received the paperwork. I am stuck being married to her with no reculection of the date of the second marriage
Be careful!
Judges can sign the divorce papers after the respondent has had ample time to respond and sign. Ask my ex! No one can hold you captive. Get on it if you want your freedom!
If your spouse refuses to sign the divorce papers, the judge will do it. I was in that situation he wouldn’t sign and finally it went past 60 days and the judge signed it and declared us divorced and this was New York State.
Depending on your state, you can get divorced without the partner ever coming to court. My daughter did it in Virginia. She went to legal aid, filled out the paperwork, legal aid mailed it to her spouse’s last known address, and gave them X number of days to return it to the court. She went to court on her day, with a credible witness to verify everything, and told the judge everything. He granted her divorce right then and ther. We waited about a half hour for papers to be processed and she was legally divorced in one day. Go talk to legal aid in your state.
I think that just because you don’t have sex doesn’t mean your husband is not attracted to you! I am very attracted to my Husband, but he has self-esteem and body issues since he’s gained a lot of weight. I tell him that it doesn’t bother me, but he feels very self-conscious and won’t even let me see him naked! However, he does loves me a lot, and shows me a lot of respect and love in other ways. Plus, I’ve gone thru menopause, and he’s going thru manopause! Both of our sex drives have taken a dive. Yes, sex is important, but it’s not the only thing. Respecting your loved ones wished and boundaries and just letting them no that no matter what you look like, you love them anyway! My Husband is overweight, but it doesn’t bother me.
I wish I had support from a wife like you,
I’m 62yo retired Navy Diver, I suffered numerous injuries while serving and now I’m paying. 2 complete knee replacements, shoulder surgery, and most recent where I was bleeding internally from a procedure done by the VA. My wife tried to tell me she loved me when I survived 5 blood transfusions. I still manage to keep in shape, running, gym and on We hit the 10 yr mark, and In Florida 10 yrs is all you need to get ½ she is gone, she left, im am very happy.
This information is essential in establishing a worthwhile relationship and a very loving one. It touch on normal basis of how humans react to each other’s and the opposite sex (or even same sex scenarios) has views on their own standards to be disrespected in a relationship. It also goes that “hidden agendas is many and often occuring without notice until you’re actually get hurt 🤕 in the end. To heed and advice to do your own “soul searching” before your so-called “soulmate” become a “👿 in disguise “….thank you
You are just here creating the least enviable marriage records in the world where nearly 2 out of 3 marriages fail within their first 5 years. Have you ever wondered why marriages in other parts of the world , especially in the non advanced societies have much better records than the US marriages – NO ONE SPYING ON THEIR CLOSEST MATES. One day in the near future you would simply succeeded in destroying all marriages. No wonder all other non thinkable alternative type marriages are making huge waves in your world
My wife walked out after 40 years. I can see several of these signs now. She is still nice to me when she needs something or wants something. But other times she treats me like she did when we were together. I now see why she had no problem with me working out of town. She left just days after i announced i was fixing to start working locally.
My ex always was steering at other men,it was sad to me so
I broke my ten year relationship she was only in favor of her daughter which I ended up falling falling in love with her and viceversa but she refused my love for obvious reasons , I ended up lonely and sad ,my advisor the mother of my previous family past away on cancer last year after the best relationship when she was needing my support !!, gross story
I still need understanding ; I am a senior young guy !. thanks for watching like CNN
I’ve been married 27 yrs. 15 yrs ago my wife began saying I love you but I’m not in love with you. At that time, I had no idea what she meant. When I looked up the meaning of the phrase, I was totally shocked. Sure enough, a few years later I discovered she was having an affair an it had been going on for 9 months. We have children, she is well respected in the medical community. Because of who the person was that she has been meeting regularly for sex- it made the situation more difficult for me. When I first confronted her, she denied any wrongdoing. Her gaslighting tactics were weighing down on me. She informed me that she didn’t have to put up with my abuse and false accusations against her. She told me that she was going to divorce me if the accusations didn’t stop. That everyone would finally see how crazy I was. She also told me that I had better start treating her better if I wanted to stay married. Telling me actions speak louder than words! We are at 5 yrs since D day. I’m so sick of tired of all the BS that comes with a spouse who is not mad at themselves for cheating. There only mad bc they got caught. I can tell you that the first fine signs you mentioned in the article are the 5 characteristics that are steering the marriage today. My wife never followed. Any suggestions from a counselor? She refuses to do anything that would help a Marriage and pause the way there have been so many strange and explainable things that happen in around this household the last 5 years and when I ask her about some of these situations that have her prints all over them, she gets defensive, or she ignores me or she gaslight me. If she isn’t using one of those tactics, you better believe she is shifting blame on me. I have learned so much about my wife and what she is capable of doing without feeling any remorse. I don’t trust her, I don’t believe in her. Yet I love her and I can’t seem to do what’s best for me – and walk away while there is still time left to rediscover life and it’s possibilities. Thank you for publishing this article. I needed to read this in the worst way. No it’s up to me to do the right thing. It’s going to be hard.
I understand where you’re coming from. I’ve been married for 39 years. The first ten years seemed like a fairy tail. Then things started to fall apart. My husband says he never lies and he can’t live under the same roof as me because I think he’s a liar and he insists he’s not. He is a liar because I’ve caught him red-handed. I have pulled up things on his iPhone of inappropriate pics of women he’s been corresponding with. He says you have to show me what it is I’m talking about in order to understand what I’m referring to. By the time I would try to show him, the items would have been deleted by him. I have proof of many things yet he gets defensive and denies everything over and over again. It took me many years later to realize just how miserable I was, and it was very hard to tell him I wanted a separation. Just like you said, actions speak louder than words, because if he loved me at all, he would at least try to avoid divorce. Not one single attempt has been made to rectify his behavior or to save our marriage. He is still in denial & thinks he’s done nothing wrong. It took me a very long time to acknowledge this. I didn’t want to admit it. But when I did, I knew it was time to take care of me. At least one thousand pounds of pain and uncomfortable feelings has been lifted off of my shoulders. I’m in the process of finding Getting the correct attorney to get a divorce
Man, I am praying for you and your ‘heart’! And that you find God’s help and grace to release yourself from SUCH mistreatment and disrespect. I sooo feel for you, Matt~
She pulled a trump on you. Sounds like you are still young enough to give your affection to someone who really deserves it. Good luck buddy, hope you find her.
Hello I read your story I would like to say that the word of God tells us in His word. ‘I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth Me. Philippians 4:13:
Amen!!🙏🙏
Sad to hear that Matt. Perhaps your wife was a narcissist?
You should see a good therapist or counselor. You’ve given up on yourself, which is the worse thing you can do. You need to love yourself first, not meaning that you should become a narcissist. Go to church or other social functions and just enjoy making friends. It will happen when you don’t expect it.
My husband says he loves me but has not touched me sexually for 3 years I keep wondering should I stay or should I go…He’s not or never been a big romantic but I remember him always wanting me now its like the novelty wore off. I know he’s not seeing anyone else.. If I was younger even up to age of before 58 I would of left…I just find we seem to get along really well and I hate th thought of starting over….but now after not having sex for so long Its their anything I should do?
I’ve been married for 9yrs, and I have noticed that my husband love for me has changed for about 4yrs of our marriage, he keeps going as if he is still in love with me, the connections from him has been disconnected for years he loves me but not in love with me, he has destroyed his marrige he is has stepped out a couple of times on his marriage and when question about his cheating he gets upset. I took my vow to marry very seriously and at the time though he were too but its ok this too shall pass and I will continue to grow and to be bless I always pray for my husband, one day he will be honest with his self, so he knows how to be honest with whom he chose to be with in his future, this behavior from him is not healthy for us to continue to be in so we are going to separate and see if that help to bring us back to our vows and love if not I have to move on this is not an easy thing to do today at my age.
I just got out of a relationship that lasted about 6 months. The first 4 were like a dream come true. Then out of nowhere, s, so basicallhe quits her job and the next 2 months are exactly all of those signs constantly on steroids. total personality change nothing of the person I fell in love with there. i tried for couple months to try anything and everything just to have them do nothing but fight against me on everything, and i finally got fed up she wanted to be freinds i said fuck that All In Or All to Hell! that really pissed her off but fuck that shit i try and you dont do shit no effort nothing i dont even want that as a freind . to be honest i would of felt better if whe would of hired a hitman to try to kill me. thats how god awlful it was. have blessed nite everyone
Another sign is, when you see the name “Jose” tatted on her lower back…and your name is not Jose.
This has been very enlightening. I’ve been feeling like something wasn’t right in my marriage and have been told by my spouse that it’s all in my mind. “If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t be here with you” but won’t take me out when he goes out, ruined the start of my relationship with his daughter and then puts down my children and me quite frequently. Never wants to hold my hand or put his arm around me when we do actually go out.
MY partner of now 11 years, hits EVERYONE OF THESE EXCEPT 1 !! He will I guess get a sense that maybe I am fed up and out of nowhere he brings me roses. or after 9 years of being together he remembers 1 anniversary date?!! only problem its not even on the date he shoved the only most beautiful card he ever gave to me on this day. His children have never visited except 1 and that was 2 yrs ago & only because her son was playing in a tournament and hour away. His first year with me I purchased all the christmas gifts for his grown children, wrapped them , packed them for shipping and he DID NOT EVEN INCLUDE ME ON THE TO/FRIOM CARDS!! that was the first clue , even tho he primed me and alluded that there would be a marriage with us , but things that were said in the first year with me made realize that it was all a game, a bluff and i had just be wrangled into a ” nurse & a purse” situation my Aunt warned me of!! Now I am trying to Un wrangle myself, etc from him and move on my way. I dont wish to spend anymore days alone. or feeling lonely, there is alot of life out there and I want to find it and live it!! will be much harder in my 60’s but I have faith!! pay attention ladies these are all 11 FACTS ! good luck to all…
Marriage is very difficult when you love everyone, but you NOT in love with him! In this situation we need GOD! I ask why hold on if its all gone! Only GOD’S guidance and his answer set you free!
I say to my wife I love you and she responds with those are just words and you have no Idead what love is
C’mon now… really how in the heck can you know what/who anyone may find in the future?
you need to run not walk out of the door.
Let’s see; #3, #4, #5, #6, #9, #10, and #11 all in effect! Ayup! I’m screwed!
Relationships suck. My wife kicked me out, after I helped her to rebuild her life for her out West.
Women take too much. And then, they want more. Screw that.
There so much to read about all the issues concerning a M. May god bless each of you and some of the best answers would come from couples who been together over 40 years.
my husband fell out of love with me after 30 years, he said I was too controlling