On this episode of DETANGLED
Before I met my partner, I had been in a long relationship with a special someone who I thought I’d marry one day. But guess what? He exhibited all the signs I’ve mentioned in this article. Every single one of them. Was I blind? Yes, for a while. Did it hurt? It hurt like hell! Now I look back and am so grateful it ended. It had to. I want to share with you my own experience with what I like to call “a dead-end relationship,” because we all deserve so much better than that!
When relationships become stale and boring, it’s hard to decide whether or not it’s time to break up or work things through. As every relationship goes through a rough patch (although when it comes to a relationship, the worst thing you could ever do is generalize), there are many ways in which you can tell whether it’s just a hard time for both partners or things must come to an end.
Also, if you read this article and see any of these signs in your own relationship, don’t panic! Instead, stay and process everything, and act with caution. Focus on reconnecting with yourself and finding out what works for you, and how you feel about all of it.
Nothing happens in the bedroom
When the intimacy of a relationship has been replaced with friendly banter or even playful high-fives, then you should start asking yourself if something’s not right. A relationship can successfully last only if the spark is kept alive.
But if you feel for a long time now that your partner has let your flame slowly burn down, then a break-up is exactly what they’re waiting for. Naturally, when it comes to physical intimacy, there are many things that might “break the spell”: whether your partner goes through a very rough patch, or there’s even a health problem at stake. Whatever it might be, you need to talk it through.
They would rather put their friends first
If you notice that your partner started canceling your plans and would rather spend their time with friends than with you, then it’s a clear sign that their priorities are completely elsewhere. While it’s extremely important for two people to have some space, spending most of their free time with other people is clearly a red flag.
The best way to know exactly where your partner stands is to ask to join them sometimes. If they never invite you, then you should definitely have a talk with them and raise the question of various problems that might happen between the two of you.
They stopped making any efforts a long time ago
Relationships might get a bit complicated at times, so a little bit of effort is occasionally needed. Or a little bit more. This might mean going out sometimes to a planned date night or even reconciling after a big argument.
There are many things we have to do to show that we really CARE, and putting in the extra effort now and then is exactly how it’s supposed to be done. However, if you noticed that your partner stopped trying a long time ago, then it might be because they’re thinking about leaving you. Missing anniversaries or even blowing off other special occasions might be their way of letting you know that they no longer want to be in this relationship.
They don’t talk about a future with you anymore
You and your partner used to spend a lot of time together planning your future. Whether you discussed marriage, children, moving to another city, or expensive vacations, many future topics were brought up. You used to go out and discuss all the things that you wanted to do together, and it was beautiful.
However, all of a sudden, these talks no longer took place, and every time you tried to bring it up, your partner suddenly shifted the topic. While it is very valid that the future might seem scary at times, if your partner didn’t want to discuss any of your future plans anymore, then you should ask him/her what happened.
They constantly avoid you
Breakups can be extremely difficult. In fact, for some, it can be so tough, that they’d rather not say anything in the first place! That’s right, some people would rather live this way than break up. They become avoidant, instead of being sincere about the way they feel about their partner.
If your beloved one started canceling all the plans or even changing the conversation whenever a topic comes up, they might have a hard time bringing this serious topic to the table. Maybe they want to, but they simply can’t. If that’s the case, you could bring it up and ease their “pain” of speaking truthfully.
They pick fights from nothing
Every couple fights once in a while. However, if your fights always transform into blowouts, then there might be a problem there. Whether it’s just a phase, or there’s another underlying issue involved, eventually, things need to be sorted out.
But if you CONSTANTLY fight without no specific or logical reason, then your partner might want to create all this drama for a completely different reason from you: they want to leave the relationship.
They constantly threaten to leave you
It’s important not to confuse things: while playful banter might be one thing if your partner constantly threatens to leave you or likes to joke around that he/she won’t be here for long, it might be because that’s actually something they consider.
All these unfair stipulations usually come from somewhere, especially since that’s how they handle disagreements. Threatening you is definitely a sign that your partner might not be fully invested in your relationship. If you started to feel as if you’re slowly being pushed away, it could be due to the fact that your partner no longer wants to be in this relationship.
They started having secrets
You’ve probably already seen it in the movies: when a relationship seems to have changed its own course, one partner starts having a secret affair or hides his/her feelings from the other one. We all know how this story goes, so if you noticed that your partner started to become sneaky when checking their phone, is constantly logging out of all his/her social media accounts, and started going out with friends that you’ve never even heard of, then you should definitely ask yourself what’s happening.
Because SOMETHING is happening, and in these circumstances, it’s time to consider the bigger picture.
You feel bad and unappreciated
Can you remember the last time you heard a “thank you” or “you are the best”? You might want to question if your partner still appreciates you because when someone is basically halfway out the door, it’s very normal for them to justify their actions by convincing themselves that you’re not the person they wanted.
More precisely, if they don’t want to be involved in this relationship anymore, they’ll stop noticing all the good things that you do for them and how great you are.
They don’t respond anymore
You call and they never answer. You text them and all of your messages are never read. If your partner isn’t open to any kind of day-by-day communication, then the two of you should have a serious discussion.
When one of you isn’t sure anymore that he/she wants to be involved in your relationship, it’s highly common to start reducing the amount of contact you have with the other partner. Of course, this shouldn’t be confused with those situations where your partner just got a new demanding job and he/she’s just trying to adjust to the pace. That’s normal and it should be met with a lot of understanding.
If you found this article useful, then we have something else you might want to read: 6 Cheating Myths You Should STOP Believing