Taboo relationship practice: Talking about your past

For many couples, talking about their love lives before they were together is off the table. They find this subject too uncomfortable or worry it would threaten their current mate.

But discussing past relationships shouldn’t be taboo, says therapist and owner of Therapy Charlotte in North Carolina. Let’s be honest… we all have pasts. And those experiences are what shaped the person we are today.

When couples allow jealousy, fear, or other insecurities to block out rich portions of their relationship histories, they might miss an opportunity to gain insight into the other person’s evolution: triggers, conflict style, and character.

Plus, how your partner speaks about their past relationships can offer clues about the kind of person they turned out to be. If there’s no responsibility or accountability, then there hasn’t been any growth, and the pattern is likely to repeat!