Longevity is a rare thing nowadays, yet some couples last forever. What’s their secret?
It is an undeniable fact that relationships need a lot of work. However, if the odds are working in your favor and you meet someone with whom you click, you will automatically want a long-term relationship.
When you find the right one for you, the secret to success is being there for each other. However, in today’s technologically advanced world, when we frequently go to the internet for relationship advice, what should we do to build the perfect relationship? Down below, you will find a list of some pieces of advice from couples that have long-term relationships.
1. Fighting isn’t about who is winning
There is no such thing as “couples lasting forever,” you might say. But with a lot of effort, this phrase can become real. If you’re in a long-term relationship, you probably get mad at each other quite often. And that’s OK! Fighting shouldn’t be about winning; it should be about solving the issue.
A long-term relationship isn’t a competition! Nothing goes well when you go into a conflict trying to win or convince yourself that you’re right. When people fight or argue, the goal should be to understand each other better and come to a compromise rather than to determine a winner and a loser.
It might be hard at the beginning, but with time, you will be able to communicate better and understand each other. After all, a long-term relationship, besides love, is also based on honesty and good communication!
2. Spending time apart from each other is important
We began our article by saying that longevity is a thing in today’s world, yet some couples last forever. But how do they do that? Especially those who also live in the same house 24 hours a day. Don’t they get bored of each other?
Well, a break once in a while is healthy! If you are like twins, spending every minute of the day together, both of you will end up exhausted. Let yourselves enjoy some time alone too! In a long-term relationship, little breaks are healthy and help keep things fresh and light!
When both partners have time to pursue interests and connections outside of their relationship, relationships flourish. This preserves each person’s individuality and adds interest and significance to the time spent together.
3. Never rely on your partner to complete you or make you happy
Some couples last forever because they’re happy with themselves apart from the relationship. While in so many movies and books, happiness looks like it’s based on the other person and how the other one makes you feel, this is completely wrong.
Even though a committed relationship might last a lifetime, you shouldn’t count on your spouse to make you whole or provide answers to all of your issues. Working on yourself outside of the relationship will help you feel complete on your own and less dependent on other people. Everything else will flow naturally from you once you’re comfortable and happy with yourself.
4. The honeymoon phase will fade eventually
But that doesn’t mean the relationship is over! While everything is dreamy in the first weeks and months of every relationship after you get to know each other, things may change; you’ll probably get into conflicts, and the honeymoon phase will slowly disappear. Many people tend to give up after they don’t feel any butterflies in their stomachs anymore.
But if you want to follow those couples that have long-term relationships that are working out just fine, learn to rest, not to quit. Try to maintain the spark in your relationship by doing new things together, expressing affection, and looking for passionate moments rather than hiding away after the honeymoon is gone. You’ll be back where you started in your next relationship if you break up just because the honeymoon is over.
5. Communicate openly and early when something is bothering you
It will not always be easy to please both of you, and there will be moments when you will not agree. And it’s alright too! Don’t be scared of communicating your sentiments to them without placing blame by using statements like “I feel annoyed when you don’t help me with house chores”. When something goes wrong, make an effort to speak up quickly and honestly. To make it work, you must be aware of each other’s emotions.
6. Seek out the good in the other person, because perfection is just a myth
Over time, especially in the case of a long-term relationship, we tend to forget what made us fall in love with our significant other and focus only on the negative things. Play this “game” together and try to make a list of things you love about each other.
No matter how many times they get you on your nerves, the good is also there! Trust yourselves, it will be worth it. Make an effort to view your husband or wife the same way you did on your first date. If you want a happy and successful relationship, it is crucial to see things positively.
Always remember that there is no such thing as a flawless person, and no human will ever fulfill all of your expectations. In a healthy relationship, two flawed individuals embrace one another for who they are.
7. Make time to talk no matter how busy your days are
Your relationship must be a priority! Your relationship has to come first, no matter how many other obligations you may have, such as your employment, raising children, and other household duties. Allocate some time to communicate with your spouse about your needs, wants, feelings, etc., and request that they do likewise.
In a long-term relationship, having effective communication may help you get beyond difficult times and keep small disagreements from becoming big ones.
Communication is an art, and for some people, it may look harder than it is. If you want to learn how to express your feelings and emotions better without being rude or using a guilt trip to make people listen to you, you may be interested in reading this book. 4 Essential Keys to Effective Communication is available on Amazon for just $7.32 for the Kindle version and $11.78 for the paperback version.
8. Know when it’s time to apologize
When you’re in a long-term relationship, you know it’s important to apologize when you make a mistake. Either you said something inappropriate or you made your partner feel uneasy. Apologies are always a way of showing remorse and respect for the other person.
9. Love isn’t enough
Sometimes people (especially in a long-term relationship) believe that if they love their partner, love will get them through everything. Although it would be lovely if love was all that was required, this isn’t how things actually work out. For example, love alone won’t sustain an unhealthy relationship, and it’s insufficient if the person you love is abusive or doesn’t try to improve your life.
10. You can only control yourself
If we accept that we can only change ourselves and not the person we are in a relationship with, we will be able to avoid all the frustrations we encounter. Although you won’t be able to control your partner’s actions, you have the power to respond to them. And it’s very important how you do that.
Your significant other will either work with you or you’ll conclude that the relationship doesn’t work for you if you concentrate on controlling your conduct in a way that benefits the relationship.
You may also enjoy Loyal Partners Share These 10 Personality Traits.