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10 Signs You’re Not Ready to Commit

Do You Think You Are Ready to Commit?

We all crave the intimacy and companionship of a relationship at some point in our lives, right? However, while this feeling is totally valid, sometimes the timing is not the best.

We might not be ready, whether physically or mentally, and getting into a relationship could result in both people being hurt. I just want to make one thing clear: nobody here wants to put you down or even imply you’re not ready to commit.

But what we’re trying to discuss today refers to all the areas of your life that you might need to improve before taking the big step into finding love. So, what are we waiting for? Here are 10 brutally honest signs you might not be ready for a relationship:

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Photo by Dragana Gordic from Shutterstock

You’re not over your ex.

Before you can totally embrace a brand new relationship and give your everything, you definitely need to be 100% over your ex. This would also mean no longer having romantic feelings for them, not comparing them to other people, not jumping into something just to make them jealous, or looking for relationships to distract themselves from the pain.

I know many of you have been told by your friends that it’s time to move and that someone else will be good for you. Well, it’s totally true. You could be advised that you might have to find someone new in order to get over your ex.

Well, that’s the worst thing you can do. Jumping into a rebound thing will only end in pain. The new individual you’ve met will feel used, and you will also feel very guilty for using them.

You’re not really willing to compromise.

If you’re struggling when things aren’t exactly done the way you like them to be, I get you. But when it comes to commitments, that might happen, you know? If you resent having to “give in” to other people’s requirements, then again, are you really ready for relationships?

For instance, I have a friend who’s very particular about her home. She’s quite obsessed with cleaning. Whenever she gets into something serious, arguments appear if her partner isn’t as clean as she wants him to be.

She has zero intentions to compromise, whatsoever. However, in a healthy relationship, give and take is definitely a must.

You’re way too focused on yourself.

Prioritizing yourself and your life goals isn’t really a bad thing. It only shows you’ve got enough motivation and dreams to accomplish what you wish for. However, if there’s no space for anyone else now, it might not be the right time to invest in a relationship right now.

And don’t feel bad about it! Honestly, we all go through different phases of life. Maybe now is the perfect time to focus on developing yourself or your career.

When you feel in a position to give your energy and time to someone else, you will be glad to have achieved what you needed in the first place.

You’re emotionally unavailable.

Another sign you’re definitely not ready for a relationship is if you have a hard time expressing your emotions or even forming a close connection with someone else.

Ultimately, for something to work, both people need to be open about how they feel. They also have to be able to create a strong bond, which would require vulnerability and trust.

Now, truth be told, you could struggle to be emotionally available for many different reasons. The best thing you can do is begin to work on yourself. You can start by understanding why you feel the way you do.

You can reach out for support, and therapy can also help you work through the blockages that might hold you back from connecting with the ones you love.

At the cost of sounding too harsh, if you jump into something without healing yourself, you will probably end up hurting the other person right away.

You’re not ready to trust

If you’ve been hurt many times in the past, this doesn’t mean that the new person has anything to do with it. Nor is it their fault. Or, you might have had a rocky upbringing, which also created an intense sense of distrust within you.

Whatever the reason might be, you must work through it before bringing someone else into the fold. Trust me, I’m talking from experience: jumping into a new relationship without fully realizing how distrustful you might be will only make it worse.

You would rather be alone.

If the idea of spending most of your time with someone else makes you feel exhausted, then you could be one of those people who simply enjoy their solitude.

If you tend to keep everything to yourself, do things alone, and actually enjoy your own company, then a relationship might not be in the cards for you.

And there’s truly nothing wrong with it. If your family pressures you into finding someone, but you actually feel good on your own, then you do!

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Photo by Monkey Business Images from shutterstock.com

You’re not willing to put in the work.

Now, I have to be a bit more blunt with this one: relationships require a ton of work, and if you’re not even willing to do it, then make sure you don’t drag someone else down with you.

Because trust me, relationships stopped being all about roses and sunsets the minute we finished watching that romantic rom-com on streaming platforms. Reality is different. Better, if you ask me, but different.

You’re still figuring out what you want.

The world is your oyster, so make sure you know what you want to get out of it! Are you interested in a long-term, committed relationship? Or just a casual fling? A friend with romantic benefits?

If you have absolutely no clue about what you want out of life and a partner, then this might be another sign that you’re not really ready for a relationship.

Naturally, you don’t have to have every single thing planned out. However, having some idea is still important before bringing someone else into the equation.

You’re not stable in your life

If you ask me, you don’t really need to have all your ducks in a row before getting into a relationship. No one says you have to be rich, mortgage-free, or drive the latest and most expensive car out there.

But you need some sort of stability because without it, a secure relationship would be awfully difficult to create.

You’re just trying to fill a void

Ultimately, do you really want a relationship because you’re just bored, or feel like something’s missing? Or do you want a partner that would genuinely add value to your life? Because it’s worth mentioning that a relationship won’t fix your issues.

If you’re just trying to fill a void, cramming someone else into it might only cause more frustration and unhappiness. You have to look within and figure out what’s really missing from your life.

Because, as I said before, a partner should add more happiness, not take full responsibility for your happiness.

But, take note that the list you’ve just read isn’t meant to make you feel hopeless! The purpose of it is to make you aware that until you work through some things, you might not be actually ready for a relationship. However, hard work and commitment could change that. If you’ve decided to work on yourself and make room for someone else, then you definitely need to read “How To Do The Work” by Nicole LePera. It will change your life!

If you’re curious to read other articles, here’s what we recommend: Relationship Deal-Breakers: 6 Things You Should Never Accept From Someone

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