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5 Reasons to Avoid Online Dating in Retirement

DETANGLE’s Insight


While it seems like the best option sometimes, online dating is not for everyone. And while I had quite a few successes, I also had a ton of failed dates and attempts (I also almost got catfished!). So before you start online dating, make sure you read about these issues that a lot of us who have already tried it faced to see if it’s a good fit for you!

Are you a single senior? Have you been thinking about giving online dating a try?

Do not be so eager to join the online dating world! That is unless you have already considered all of the advantages and disadvantages. It doesn’t mean that you should be completely ignoring the possibility, but rather that you should be cautious when it comes to finding your next true love in the online dating space! Not because it is impossible, but rather because it comes along with so many disadvantages and drawbacks that it could not be worth it for you.

We examined all of the reasons why seniors avoid using online dating apps and compiled the most important ones, which ranged from having too many options for a potential partner to the anxiety of not knowing which person to choose, all the way to the risk of being scammed and lied to repeatedly.

And if you are still going to give it a try, just keep these things in mind so you do not end up getting disappointed, or worse, cheated out of both love and money!

Have you thought about online dating recently?

online dating
Image By Tero Vesalainen From Shutterstock

It’s a gateway to more disappointment

Online dating may seem like the best thing now, especially since you can theoretically chat with people securely and there are not too many risks if you know what you are doing. It also opens up the pool of people that you wouldn’t have met otherwise, since you can match with people from other states as well. However, this also means you open yourself to more and more disappointment!

As the saying goes, “pictures speak a thousand words,” yet when you only have pictures to go by, these are not going to show you the reality of what is going on. You may post pictures that are real and just the most flattering ones, but you can never go by what you see on others’ profiles.

They could have an online dating profile that features only pictures of them in suits, in fancy locations, or at the gym, and you could end up on a real date with someone in sweatpants that looks nothing like their profile. The excuse? “The pictures are from five years ago.”

Talk about disappointment! And appearance is not the only thing people lie about on dating apps. Anything from their jobs, family situations, and how much money they have to impress you, right down to their hobbies and height!

If you are still keen on trying online dating, make sure that you are prepared for some shocking revelations. and not of the good kind!

Don’t get us started on all the lies

Yep, everyone lies when it comes to online dating. And before you come here and say that you do not, even not mentioning things or lying by omission counts as lying in this space. Everyone could have the best intentions and their hearts could be in the best of places, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t wrong for them to lie to you or just hide that they’re still married until you’re on your fifth date!

The tricky thing about online dating is that you cannot really tell when someone is lying to you, and this can lead to a lot of disappointments. And we are not talking about things that are going to be easily disproven when you first meet, like their looks, age, or even hair color! We are talking about more personal details that would even be hard to check if you were to go looking around on their social media profiles.

There is a clear lack of accountability in the online dating sphere, and you can easily end up being ghosted by someone you thought you had a real connection with or just end up realizing they were running an elaborate scamming scheme.

And when there are still around 83 million Facebook accounts that are thought to be fake, how can we know when the lies start and where they will ever end? Sometimes it’s better to save yourself the heartache!

online dating
Image By Studio Romantic From Shutterstock

Can you fully trust texting as a way to get to know someone?

Let’s be honest for a second. We have preached to our kids about the dangers of meeting people online for ages, as they have been growing up since the internet was still young and new, but things have not really changed. You can end up having a true connection with someone you met on the internet through online dating, but before you actually end up meeting that person, you will only have text to go by. Does this actually tell you a lot about them?

The truth is a gray area. And while there are a lot of successful love stories, a lot of people let that cloud their judgment, and they end up meeting up with people they do not actually know because they sweet-talked them through messages. Forget all about the dangers that online dating poses!

Keep in mind just how people can easily Google “how to sweet talk you” and “how to tell you all kinds of things you wish to hear,” while at the same time not having the best of intentions. Or they may simply be lying about who they are in order to have a better chance with you when, in reality, they are nothing like how they advertised themselves.

Do not fall for a few sweet words and jump into a relationship with someone just like that, because you never know how genuine someone actually is. So when it comes to online dating, it is better to not raise your hopes until you meet that person in real life!

The paradox of choice is real

This paradox is something we are battling every day, and it also extends to dating online, especially since you have so many options. The sad truth is that a lot of people who are doing this are going to be speaking to more people at the same time to see who they click with and with whom they have the best chemistry.

But this can also end up causing trouble, because how are you going to choose when the time comes? Maybe one of your choices is more committed than you are, or it could be the other way around. Having so much attention from all sides is going to be confusing and create a ton of awkward and uncomfortable situations.

Not to mention, it also becomes one of the big disadvantages of online dating and explains why so many people stop doing it. Research shows that people are less likely to want to settle down with one partner after matching online with so many people because the pool is so wide and vast and it becomes addictive to keep searching.

This is in addition to the possibility of developing dating anxiety and getting flustered more often than not! If you are prone to anxiety, then maybe online dating isn’t the best choice for you.

I learned more about the paradox of choice and how it affects our lives daily by reading more about it!

The paranoia of being scammed

This one does not manifest in everyone, but it is something to keep in mind when it comes to online dating. It does not mean that everyone you will be talking to will end up trying to scam you or steal your private information, but it is a sad reality that a lot of people end up dealing with. It may not seem like something that common, but according to the FTC, back in 2021, romance scams, a lot of which happened when it came to online dating, amounted to around $547 million in losses that were never going to be recouped by the victims.

One would think that the anonymity of online dating is something that will keep you safe, especially since a lot of people end up using it because they are not as confident in real life or are a bit skeptical of trying real-life dating again. Being online lets you put your best self forward, and let’s be honest, none of us are going to use unflattering pictures of ourselves. The problem arises when people end up using someone else’s pictures to pretend they are someone else, and they try to scam you out of money.

For example, a common way these romance scammers operate is to use a fake name and match with people when they are away on holidays, then say they are from another state or even from Mexico or Canada! They will keep talking to you until you bond, then they will ask you to lend them money for their kid’s surgery or some financial emergency, and then they will vanish into thin air if you fall for their scheme.

If this doesn’t deter you from trying out online dating and you end up in a situation where you think you may not be talking to someone who is truthful, make sure you search for them online to find out more about them. And if you don’t find anything, or, worse, if nothing you find matches what you were told, ghost them!

Never give private information or money to people online. That’s Internet 101.

And if you are worried that you may be talking to a catfisher, do not worry! Here we have gathered some of the best ways to identify an online dating scammer in a few easy ways!

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