On this episode of DETANGLED
It couldn’t be easier to cheat nowadays, and it makes me wonder if you can really trust anybody in this day and age. After all, you can cheat without even touching someone else, and this thought sends shivers down my spine. That’s why I think you need to be fully aware of all the possibilities, especially these days when one innocent “like” on Facebook means more than you think. Have I been cheated on in any of these ways? Yes. Did I learn my lesson? I sure did!
Relationships can be extremely challenging, especially long-term ones, because, throughout times, there could be many temptations along the way that we have to overcome. Some people might say that it ain’t easy being in a long-term relationship and remaining faithful at the same time.
The way they view life goes like this: when “unwanted” temptations come, we could close our eyes and move on, right? However, it would be more appropriate to think this way: why would you want to be tempted in the first place, when it could simply be avoided?
Truth be told, anything that you can’t do in front of your partner is seen as cheating. Some folks out there might act in certain ways and not be aware of the fact that they are cheating, so here’s what you need to know:
Avoid inappropriate situations
As mentioned before, when you keep going out all by yourself, and there’s always that pretty girl in your group of friends who’s always open to talking to you, you might eventually become friends. And because of this friendship, you start spending increasingly more time together, and you might, in fact, start liking each other even more.
By this time, you enjoy her presence too much to imagine even a week passing by without seeing her. One thing leads to another, and there’s another feminine presence in your life that starts to seem to be filling your partner’s shoes. You don’t want to go there, because things might get a little bit messy, including cheating.
Going to certain events alone
I’m not implying that your partner should be your handbag everywhere you go. There are people out there who need the occasional “afternoon with the boys” or “lunch with the girls”, and that’s perfectly fine.
Also, there are couples out there who simply feel good by themselves, which is also amazing (finding a true friend in your partner is one of the rarest and most wonderful gifts one can ever ask for). I’m talking here about those people who always attend events by themselves.
Each time they go out, they are alone, which might oftentimes lead to the wrong impression. “How come you have a girlfriend? I have never seen you with her.” This is one of the many questions that might come up, and they eventually lead to inappropriate situations that you might later realize you have no control over.
Over a certain period of time, you might start to give in, especially if you keep seeing the same people over and over again and they keep seeing you alone.
Dressing up to impress someone
If you notice that you start dressing differently, BETTER, for someone else rather than your partner, then you might want to start questioning yourself whether or not you have something up your sleeves. Dressing up like you’re about to run a fashion show for yourself is wonderful, and we strongly applaud you for that!
Also, dressing up nicely for your partner is also great, because it means that you still have that sparkle going on. But if you start dressing up to impress OTHER people, outside your relationship, you might want to ask yourself why are you doing this. It might mean something else that’s worth questioning.
Now, the majority of people might believe that this is extremely harmless, but it might lead to many other complicated situations. For instance, you are at the office and you’re caught flirting with a pretty woman. You knew for a very long time that she was into you, but you go on anyway.
You might be thinking it’s still harmless, but in reality, it’s plain wrong. If you know that the two of you can’t date because you are already committed to a long-term relationship, why would you want to put yourself in that position?
Confiding in someone else rather than your spouse
When I say confiding in someone else besides your partner, I’m specifically talking about someone else that you know is into you. Deep down, you instantly knew that this person wants to date you. And what do you think it looks like when you’re confiding in such a person with some of the most intimate details, and issues in your relationship?
The only person you should be discussing your innermost thoughts with is your partner. He/She’s the one that should know you best, not someone that fancies you. This way, you’ll give them more power than your partner, which will automatically lead to cheating.
Getting an online lover
Ok, let’s talk about Raya. Raya is an extremely popular dating app in the United States, and it has been used by many, many people at some point, including Ben Affleck! Let’s say you’re in a long-term relationship. In fact, you’ve actually discussed getting married multiple times.
Marriage is currently on the table for both of you. However, you have an active profile on Raya, and even worse than that, you have A GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND on Raya! This is particularly wrong if you’re already committed to a long-term relationship.
You could be thinking that the relationship stays in the realms of online dating and that’s it, it won’t harm anybody, but that’s far from true. It’s still cheating.
Putting them first before your partner
This particular situation targets an emotional type of cheating. When everyone is more important than your partner, then there’s definitely something off between you two. It’s oftentimes described as “emotional cheating” because everyone else on the planet seems to be more important and relevant than your partner.
But it is, nevertheless, cheating. In fact, the definition of emotional cheating is pretty clear: it’s a special type of infidelity where one of the partners shares a deep emotional intimacy and connection with someone outside the relationship. The connection usually crosses the boundaries of a healthy, platonic relationship, and creates a certain breach of trust in the primary relationship.
Emotional vs. Physical
The most important difference between a physical affair and an emotional one is actually physical contact. That makes sense, right? Normally, cheating involves people who meet face-to-face and start engaging in physical intimacy.
But when it comes to an emotional affair, there could be a simple meeting, a telephone talk, a chat on social media, or even a lunch date with someone else outside the relationship. In any of those situations, there’s no physical intimacy involved.
The majority of people who are emotionally cheating don’t even see it as infidelity. The way they see things goes like this: there’s no actual physical contact, so it can’t be seen as cheating. Let’s take an example: Diana decided to reconnect with Peter, her high-school lover on Facebook.
The two of them started messaging each other back and forth and they soon started sharing intimate details about their marriages. One thing led to another, and they suddenly woke up in a deep emotional attachment, mostly caused by their feelings of mutual support.
They start wondering why they even broke up in the first place, and they consider “rekindling” their romance. So there it goes: Diana and Peter aren’t actually cheating in the traditional way, but they are still cheating.
If you are glad you found this piece, you might also want to try: 9 Sure Signs Your Date Finds You Attractive