On this episode of DETANGLED
Let’s talk about love and politics, because things are more complicated than they seem. I know people who ended their relationships because each one liked a different political party, and I want to give you a few tips on how to improve your relationship regardless of your political preferences.
Do you like the same political party as your partner?
Politics is a deal-breaker, and I’m not only talking about the situation in our country or anywhere in the world. Many people decide to break up because they like different political parties or because their thoughts don’t align.
For instance, when COVID-19 was the main news subject in 2020 and the vaccine against it was available for the entire population, one of my colleagues came to work and told me that he had decided to break up with his partner.
I was shocked when he first told me because I knew them for many years and they were together when I met them. However, he told me that he just got the booster shot, but his SO doesn’t even want to consider getting the vaccine.
He also told me that he doesn’t care how much he loves her because they have very different points of view about life, and that says a lot about the future of their relationship. But they got back together after a few weeks.
So can you do the same thing if your partner likes a different political party than you? Can you still find a way to be together? James Carville and Mary Matalin are a great example of how love doesn’t care if someone supports a political party and the other doesn’t even want to hear about it. But can you apply the same method to your relationship? Let’s find out! Here’s what you should know about liking different political parties:
1. Your relationship is more than that
First things first: as important as politics are, we all have to admit that your relationship doesn’t revolve around it. In an interview for one of Vogue magazine’s covers in 2022, the beautiful actress Jennifer Lawrence stated that nowadays, everyone has to be political because the things that happen in our country are sometimes terrible and everybody should pay attention to them.
I think that she’s right, but if you think that your partner is your soulmate, a political party shouldn’t break you up. Besides that, when you spend time with your significant other, you don’t only talk about politics, right? You have activities that are based on the things you like doing together, and political ideologies usually come up when it’s time to vote.
This subject was also interesting for studies, and the Pew Research Center discovered that 60% of the families they surveyed said that they enjoyed talking about politics, but only when they agreed with the same ideas. The rest of the 40% said that they don’t feel comfortable expressing their political ideas and prefer not to engage in a conversation like this.
…What are your thoughts on this one?
2. Set boundaries
Once you notice that your partner doesn’t like the same political party you do, instead of getting into a fight that you’re probably going to regret later, you can simply keep things simple and agree to set some boundaries.
It seems that as people grow older, they’re more and more involved and interested in the political world. For example, studies discovered that seniors are very picky when it comes to their future partners, and if someone they appreciate doesn’t like the same political party they do, they’re not going to waste their time dating those people.
And that is not all: if you’re a senior man or woman who’s looking for love but doesn’t have success, studies say that you’re more likely to find someone special if you share the same political ideas as them.
Trust me, I understand that politics are very important for each and every one of us, but I think that it shouldn’t be the only criterion when it comes to a romantic connection. Of course, if you’re dating someone and you notice that you don’t really like them and their appreciation for a different political party is the cherry on top, go ahead and call it quits.
But if you like someone very much and the only thing that makes you unsure is their political ideas, I think that you shouldn’t rush and maybe give them a chance. You might be surprised because, at the end of the day, those differences make people attracted to one another.
3. Simply ignore it
I don’t think that ignorance is the key answer here, but if your partner likes a different political party than you, there’s no need to fret. You can simply discuss this topic with one another and decide if you want to ignore your differences or move on.
If you choose the first option, all you have to do is accept and respect their opinions and not get triggered if you hear something you don’t agree with. For instance, don’t watch the news over dinner and instead focus on something that makes both of you happy and relaxed.
I know it doesn’t sound very appealing, but if you want this relationship with both good and bad sides, you should try everything you can to make it work.
4. Find your similarities
You probably have a lot in common, given the fact that you decided to be in a relationship, right? However, if you’ve only started dating, a political party shouldn’t stand in your way. There’s a big possibility that you and your significant other have quite a few things in common, and you should focus your attention on those things if you want to be in a healthy and happy relationship.
If you both make the time to talk and share your dreams and goals with one another, you might discover that you know exactly how to help each other, and that will bring you closer.
And if somehow the conversation goes to politics, you’ll know more about their real selves, and you’ll have the chance to analyze your responses before saying something mean about their character.
…Which political party do you like?
5. See the best in your partner
Everyone has their own values and things they believe in, and if your significant other says that one political party is better than another, it’s because the people they support actually share the same values as them.
An easy way for you to understand where things are going in your relationship is to have an open conversation with the person you love—more like a philosophical dialogue, actually—and say more about how you see the world, the people living on this planet, and how you think that the future can be improved. That will allow you to understand their point of view, which will then only make your relationship easier.
How do you deal with the fact that your partner likes a different political party than you?
6. Don’t try to change them
There are people who are desperately trying to make those around them agree with them, but there are cases when something like that is impossible to happen. If the thing that annoys you the most in your relationship is the fact that your partner hates the political party you appreciate, that’s going to cause some trouble, depending on the way you see the whole situation.
In a case like this, you both have to learn how to conduct a conversation without getting into a fight. The main topic of your dialogue should never be based on ways to change the other person because that’s almost impossible to happen. People only change because they want to, not because someone tells them to.
The best thing you can do is to understand their point of view, respect it, and accept it as it is without becoming annoyed that your opinions are completely opposite. Either you understand the situation well (both of you), or you decide to go to therapy. In the worst-case scenario, you either break up or file divorce papers.
7. Don’t get tipsy and talk about politics
I remember that when I was little, my parents used to get in a good mood each time they had a cocktail or glass of wine in their hand, and then they started talking about politics over and over again. And each time we had any guests, that was the main topic of conversation, typically when I was tired and almost ready to go to sleep.
Their discussions made me realize that if people have different points of view when it comes to the political party they prefer, those ideas are more likely to come to the surface when they have something to drink.
That’s exactly why there’s a rule in my house, both for the members of my family and for those who come over: we don’t discuss politics or any other problems in the world over drinks because things might get complicated fast.
If you feel like politics is a complicated subject for your relationship, it might be better to hold off on opening a bottle of wine before you begin talking about the political party you appreciate. You can talk about this any other time, such as when you’re going out for a walk or taking a stroll around the park.
If you’re not into politics but want to know more about it, this book is going to explain everything you need to know. Maybe it will also help you understand your partner better, so political parties won’t be a reason to fight or avoid certain conversations.
…Does your partner appreciate the same political party as you? How important are politics for you? Tell us in the comments! Here’s another article you should check out: Shh… 6 Things Women Over 50 Want From a Man!