My dearest friend is back on the dating market, and lucky for you guys, I have some interesting insights about it! It seems that what we’ve all been told about dating in our 50s is false, and I couldn’t be happier. If we were to listen to Diane (my dear friend and my partner in crime), dating in your 50s is the best. You’re more secure, you’re confident, you know what you want, and you simply don’t want to settle for less than that!
You might be tricked into thinking that after you reach 50 years old, finding love is a hopeless quest, but there are more and more findings that suggest that is far from the truth. According to a survey conducted on more than 2,000 singles, half of them being younger than 50 years old, and the other half over 50, a whopping 72% in the older group reported that they want to keep on dating in the future.
As for physical intimacy, half of them agreed that one of the biggest misconceptions they had to face so far is that they are no longer interested in s*x. As Dr. Robi Ludwig, a relationship expert, confirmed, people are feeling younger now, for a longer period of time. So the obvious question here would be…is 50 the new 20? Here are some of the most important myths about senior dating you need to forget:
Midlife singles aren’t that open-minded
You’d be surprised, but according to an OurTime survey, no less than 63% of people over 50 are way more confident now than they were in their 20s. And another 25% percent admitted that they have a fresher outlook on life than ever.
As Ludwig confirmed, this can be easily explained by all the changes that occurred in their brain. This type of change might also help mid-lifers see life through a different, more optimistic lens. There’s a certain serenity and acceptance in whatever happens in life now, but also all the flaws and limitations that might occur in a relationship.
This definitely has a positive impact on relationships. In fact, what am I even saying? With this kind of mentality, now’s the ideal time to date!
People who are 50 and older have too much experience
Someone’s “baggage”, which might mean either children or divorce, is what others might consider a full package deal or just a rich life experience. Truth is, all of our experiences might help us see life in different ways, through a multi-dimensional lens.
All these experiences are oftentimes seen as assets, not a barrier, and they help us navigate through life with more wisdom and empathy. So if you had quite a life so far, you should never be ashamed of it. On the contrary, that’s exactly what makes you a unique and resourceful person. And you should be nothing but appreciated for it!
In their 50s, people aren’t interested in physical intimacy anymore
The truth is that everybody is interested in physical intimacy. According to 50 percent of all the people who participated in the study, this misconception definitely doesn’t apply to them. They all had a very positive attitude toward physical intimacy.
In fact, the wide majority answered that having a satisfying s*x life is a way through which they still feel young. For them, physical intimacy doesn’t even have to come with a relationship. In fact, many middle-aged singles are very open to having what’s known as a “friend with benefits”, and even date multiple people at a time.
People who are 50 and single aren’t in good health
Truth is, nowadays, people in their 50s are younger than ever, also thanks to all the advances of modern science. I mean, look at Brad Pitt! As a matter of fact, from now on, it will take us way longer to grow up, as culturally outdated ideas aren’t accepted anymore, and they don’t represent the mid-life generations today.
It’s true that some natural changes in our health still occur at some point, such as menopause, impotence, and, of course, wrinkles. However, this won’t stop the 50-plus singles from being their best open-minded versions of themselves.
In midlife, most singles don’t have standards anymore
It’s true that they might be more open-minded, but this doesn’t mean that they have no idea what they want! In fact, most 50+ singles have a full-blown list of desires and deal breakers. The majority of those who date over 50 years old admitted to being pickier, compared to how they were when they were younger.
Probably one of the biggest turn-ons for this particular group is being extremely optimistic. As it turns out, it’s a big fat aphrodisiac! And since we’re here, some of the most popular deal breakers include smoking, pessimism, but also poor financial affairs.
People who are 50 and older don’t want to commit
The fact that this particular age group is all about casual fun and they might be looking only for a little bit of companionship is very valid, but there are also those who still want to get married! In fact, the survey showed that nearly half of all the people in their 50s who participated are still looking forward to getting married. They simply want to find a true, meaningful bond. Being divorced or reaching a midlife crisis won’t ever deter them from this goal.
Best tips if you’re out and about in your 50s:
Become friends with technology
Nowadays, dating apps are used by many middle-aged people. In fact, as we’ve made quite a habit out of pulling out interesting stats, 30% of U.S. adults use a dating app, out of which only 16% of those over-50s ever tried one.
This proves that there’s a huge potential for all these companies to serve a middle-aged adult market with brand-new tech. But as Adam Cohen Aslatei, the founder and CEO of S’More said, “You shouldn’t use swaps after 45, because by then, you’re much more sophisticated. And at the end of the day, you have to connect with that person, not with the lust.” So when it comes to dating apps, the future seems very bright!
& Think outside the app, too
Even if signing on to one or two dating apps might not seem like a lot of work, it seems that users spent as many hours on the site as they would have at a part-time job. Besides all the time and the effort to craft an initial profile, but also using a pro photographer for the initial profile, they also had to…you know, COMMUNICATE with potential dates!
So that makes us wonder if you have enough time to keep your eyes open for various opportunities that might come outside your dating app.
Prepare your resilience muscle
Going on various dates might involve some disappointment and rejection. You have to be resilient. While you might be the greatest person alive, some people might not see it like this. Plus, if you think you’re the only divorced adult who navigates unfamiliar dating territory, trust me, you’re not alone!
Dating is mostly about collecting information, and by the end of the day, if you decide that he/she’s not the right person for you, then just move on!
Besides the judgment others might project on you, you should consider your financial reality. What does your own financial situation say about this? Do you currently have any disposable income to spend on dates?
Would you be able to pick up a check for someone else, if they’re not able to? Because when it comes to matters of wallet and heart, it seems that women over 50 need to learn how to “go slow and say no”. Why? Because it might take some time to know someone, and they shouldn’t rush you into anything.
Needless to say, Diane also wanted me to share this wonderful book with you, and who am I to ever refuse her? So if you don’t know how to tackle the whole “dating-in-my-50s” business, then you absolutely need to check Secrets of Dating After Fifty: The Insider’s Guide to Finding Love Again.
If you found many interesting insights in this article, you might also want to try: 9 Sure Signs Your Date Finds You Attractive