Women might come from Venus and men from Mars but both genders have their deal-breakers when it comes to dating and choosing their future partners. Some of the reasons women put guys on the “DO NOT DATE” list might seem quite reasonable, and others might seem offensive to their male counterparts, but one thing’s for sure: if you want to make sure you’re seen as a prospective date, here are the things that turn off women, that all men should know about.
Being unemployed
A partner with a stable job is a must in every woman’s book. It’s not that women are gold-diggers or want to be supported by their partners so that they can stay at home. Most women nowadays are quite independent and doing very well on their own.
It’s this fact actually that makes them want to date men like them: financially stable and independent. Not having a job is a sign that you’re not where you want to be in life. If you’re having problems finding a job or deciding on a career, then it’s difficult to be truly involved in a romantic relationship.
Lacking ambition
This is another turn-off for women. Even if you have a job, if you lack the ambition to do more and constantly improve yourself, you should know women find it “completely unsexy”, says lifestyle and travel blogger Amy Hartle. You don’t have to plan on conquering the world, but you do need to have some sort of goal in life. Women appreciate a man with a plan and ambition to achieve it.
Being late
“Once you score a date, don’t be late,” advises Becky L. Duncan, a single 30-year-old online business coach. Sometimes things beyond your control can happen and you’re late. But if you can’t make it on time, at least send a text message that you’re running late. And whatever you do, don’t make a habit of turning up late. We’re all busy but still do our best to arrive on time. Tardiness cannot be forgiven all the time.
Canceling
We cannot control everything. “From time to time the unexpected happens causing us to break a date or other commitment,” explains Rosalind Sedacca, CLC. But if it turns into a pattern and you’re always canceling, then, it’s clear that you’re not interested and don’t care about the person you’re standing up.
According to Dating expert and spiritual consultant, Davida Rappaport, if canceling a date happens more than twice, it’s a clear deal-breaker for women. Maybe at first your apologies are accepted, the second time you might still be given the benefit of the doubt, but the third time alarm bells start ringing. You can be sure there will be no other time for you to cancel. After all, how many disappointments can a woman deal with?
Shady online behavior
A serious deal-breaker for women (even for the ones who are not looking for a serious commitment) is a guy’s sketchy and frivolous online behavior. This means that if your Facebook or Instagram page is full of photos of you and other women (either former girlfriends or party companions), women will not see you as a “potential date”.
As explained by dating coach, Damona Hoffman, no woman will like dating a player and becoming another woman on his conquest list.
See also these 10 Most Common Things Men Usually Lie About
Sloppy or bad hygiene
“Nothing turns off a woman faster than a guy who doesn’t take care of himself and make an effort to look (and smell!) presentable,” says Hartle. Ok, so you’re not organized and always dressed for the occasion like David Beckham. Well, most women are not Victoria Beckham either.
But if you’re not capable of washing, shaving and wearing clean clothes, it means you don’t care about your surroundings either. In other words, an untidy person has no problem with living in an untidy and disorganized place. And it’s been scientifically proven that untidiness gives women headaches and anxiety.
In addition, a man with bad hygiene, unable to take proper care of himself might be looking for someone else to do it for him. Most women don’t want to date men who need to be taken care of like they were kids.
Sloppy physique
Ok, so you’re not Ryan Gosling or Chris Hemsworth ripped but you should at least show some signs that you’re interested in taking care of your body and health. Women like men who invest in their bodies and health, seeing it as a sign of self-confidence.
According to dating and relationship expert, Megan Weks, not caring about your appearance and health at all is a red flag for most women. It is an indication that the man in question might have other issues as well, such as low self-esteem and self-love. If a person can’t love themselves, how can they love someone else?
He has no friends
People are social creatures so the fact that someone, in this case, a man, is a complete loner is a red flag for many women. To be clear, no one is saying that a man should always come with a posse, but being a lone wolf is not appealing to women.
Why? As explained by therapist Colleen Andre, MA LMHC, “Women want to date men who have other healthy friendships or deep connections with people”. Lack of close friends or family might indicate that all the focus will go on you. Every woman wants to be seen and cared for by their partner but there’s a fine line between being attentive and obsessed.
Living with Mum
If you’ve seen Failure to Launch starring Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew McConaughey, you know what we’re talking about here. If not, let us explain. If you’re well beyond your 30s and still living with your parents (mum or dad), you should know it’s a big turn-off for women.
It’s not that women have problems with their mums, it’s that living with parents shows that that person has certain underlying issues: immaturity, co-dependence, either financial or emotional, and most of all, fear of commitment.
Read also:10 Cruel Things Men Do to Their Partner, According to Women
Living with an ex
Believe it or not, some people do this. Men can find all sorts of explanations for living under the same roof as their exes: it’s either due to the children, due to financial reasons, lack of a place of their own etc.
However, according to Dr. Madden, if a man really wants to break things off with an ex, he will always find a way to do it. On the other hand, if he keeps finding excuses to stay in that situation, aka house, it indicates that he’s not ready to say goodbye for real. Besides, what woman in her right mind would ever date a man still living with his ex? Deal-breaker for sure.
The waitress test
If there’s one thing all dating and lifestyle experts agree on, it’s that you can tell what a man is like by the way he acts around people in the service industry. According to divorcee and attorney, Randi Robbins, if a man treats waitresses or waiters condescendingly and poorly, it’s a clear example that they are rude and think they are entitled to feel superior.
It can also be a sign of their future behavior towards the woman he’s on a date with. “A man who is rude to hardworking restaurant staff is revealing a preview of coming attractions,” warns behavioral expert, Wendy L. Patrick, JD, PhD. “How he treats the server is how he will, at some point, treat me,” she says.
This sound like a woman wrote this. Whoever wrote this put the blame on the guys. My wife and I had an honest and open communication, until she hung out with her coworkers and called me and lied that she was in a meeting with her boss talking about making her T.I., and that it would be 4 hours. I’m paranoid by nature, she did not realize she started bell’s going off. I went to her job, she was not there, I tried calling her 50x, no answer but voice-mail. She called to let me know she was on the way home. When she got home, I confronted her about her where abouts. She lied and said here phone was dead. To shorten this long story, we had our 2nd serious argument. She said, she was with friends in Ypsilanti, MI., to help her friends pick up her kids. 3rd argument was when she left the house as soon as I went to work to pick up a man to take to another city in Michigan, but I put a track on my cars. All the stories, and movies make it seem like ONLY men cheat. They need to make this stuff more 50/50!!
I have NEVER cheated on her, and forgiven her 3x. I told her I still love her, but not in the same way. Trusting her is an issue. I also told her I want my real wife back.
Keith, it seems that you are a good guy who still loves his wife. However, my advice is to be very careful and keep watching. If she continues with stories I suggest that you to make a change as tough and heartbreakingly as this will be. In the long run, you´ll be better off.
Wish you all the best.
Keith… man up and cut the cord.