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6 Worst Reasons Couples Stay Together

These are the worst reasons couples stay together! Are you part of a toxic relationship or marriage?

We all have a love story like the ones we see in movies and read about in books, but in real life, things don’t always go as we plan, and because of this, we should resist the urge to hold onto that “happy ever after” for too long.

Relationships evolve, and sometimes they reach an end. Most of the time, we don’t want it, but it might be the healthiest thing that can happen in our lives. But how do you know it’s time to let go?

Therapists point to a few signals that show you are clinging to an unhealthy dynamic. If you feel like your marriage or relationship is not how it used to be, you might want to hear the worst reasons couples stay together and learn how to avoid staying too long in an unhealthy relationship.

worst reasons couples stay together
Photo by Song_about_summer from Shutterstock

 

1. The fear of change

The unknown is scary, and because of this, many people would do anything to stay away from it, including remaining in a relationship that is no longer working and is causing more pain than joy.

A long-term partnership is comfortable, and even if it’s not ideal, a lot of people consider it better than meeting new people or changing their routines and way of life. Couple therapists encounter many couples who stay together just because they are afraid of the emotional consequences of a breakup.

However, this is one of the worst reasons couples stay together, and therapists advise that people should not stay trapped in relationships that are no longer fulfilling or healthy. Resentment and anger can emotionally drain you, and staying too long in a relationship can mean missing opportunities to be in a happier relationship.

2. Feeling guilty

Sometimes we can feel like we are responsible for our partner’s well-being, and this makes guilt one of the reasons people choose to stay in relationships that are no longer working.

Therapists consider that you need to prioritize your happiness and well-being instead of your partner’s because it is not worth it to sacrifice all of it just because you feel guilty. It is normal to not want to hurt your partner, but it is also one of the worst reasons couples stay together. Maybe you believe you are not harming them, but in the long run, you are doing the exact opposite.

When you sacrifice your own fulfillment, a dynamic based on resentment is born, and the outcome can be much more painful than if you chose to split earlier on. Also, staying in a relationship out of guild is not an honest move, and ending things more quickly and honestly is probably the best thing for both of you, the ones that are part of the relationship.

3. Financial dependency

There are a bunch of people who negate this aspect, but we have to recognize it once and for all: money is a big aspect of most relationships. It is easy for money to become an obstacle that will stop you from leaving a relationship that is no longer making you happy.

When one partner depends financially on the other, there is a chance that the financial aspect will become the glue that keeps the relationship together. This dynamic is dangerous because even if the love is gone, money might slow down the decision-making process, and people can remain together just because it is easier, even if there is no longer an emotional connection there.

Unfortunately, this is one of the worst reasons couples stay together because it is all caused by the unhealthy power imbalance that is created when one partner depends financially on the other. When you want to be able to pursue your goals and make your dreams come true, financial independence is a big factor. Yes, your partner can support you; this is wonderful, but when you depend on them, things can get risky.

It is normal to want financial stability, but when staying in an unhealthy relationship is your chosen way to achieve it, you should be aware that this is not the foundation of a healthy connection.

4. Social pressure

Do you know what one of the most powerful human motivators is? It is social acceptance, and sometimes this can also infiltrate our romantic relationships. A good rule of thumb would be to never let any external pressure dictate what happens in your relationship. Social norms, fear of judgment, or family experiences can all distort your perspective and make it hard for you to see the truth about what is happening between you and your partner.

One of the worst reasons couples stay together is social pressure. Staying together for the sake of appearances is only going to make things worse for both of you, and you better avoid it to start with. Trying to keep that facade will create a fake happiness that hides resentment and anger.

Your love life is yours and your partner’s journey, and no exterior factors like parents and friends should determine if you stay together or not.

worst reasons couples stay together
Photo by DavideAngelini from Shutterstock

5. Children

Staying for the kids is again one of the worst reasons couples stay together, therapists say. When you have children, your relationship becomes even more complex than it was, and as a result, there are a lot of people who tend to stay together, even if the relationship is toxic and not working for the sake of the kids.

It is true that the ideal house should have two parents, but you must try to see all perspectives and put the needs of the children first. If the children develop in a dysfunctional household, this can have a negative impact on the way they learn to process emotions.

Experts advise couples that are in this situation to better end the relationship so they can start to focus on a healthy co-parenting dynamic. This means the children should be allowed to have strong bonds with both partners.

If possible, adopting this type of dynamic will help the kids get the stability and support they need, and you will no longer be stuck in an unhappy relationship that seems to go nowhere.

6. They convince you to stay

When a relationship is not working anymore, it can reach a tipping point when both parties are aware that this is not going to be better and maybe separation is the best decision. However, if you have a manipulative partner, they might try to convince you that you need them in your life.

Their main strategy is to make empty promises and tell you that if you two stay together, things are going to change. They will do their best to prevent you from leaving them, and if you fall victim to this tactic, you might end up staying in the wrong relationship much longer.

This is another one of the worst reasons couples stay together, because sweet nothings and grand gestures without anything happening in the end do not help the relationship grow. If your partner says something and then their promises are not reflected in their actions, be sure there are some deeper issues that will prevent your relationship from becoming better.

In the end, the decision to stay or not in a relationship is a very personal matter. And it is not mandatory for your motive to be exactly among the ones listed here. For many people, it might be a combination of multiple motives.

But if your relationship is not making you feel fulfilled and you feel like there is no reason to keep fighting, don’t be afraid to prioritize your needs.

If you are interested in finding out more about what you have to do after a toxic relationship, this might be a good read: Toxic Relationships: Breathe Again: 5 Steps to Healing & Recovery

You should also read: 7 Main Types of Affairs and Their Impact on Relationships

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