Partner living a double life? Here are the tell-tale signs!

Just imagine what that would look like: Let’s say you’ve been married to your spouse and living with them for many years, maybe decades. You’ve known them even longer than that.

But then, one day, BAM, you suddenly discover that your significant other has been living a double life. The first thing you should know is that those who do live double lives exist with the purpose of never leaving too many footprints.

When a person flat-out lies or hides information to get the things they want, those are well-known tactics of abuse and manipulation.

Even if they aren’t doing anything directly harmful to you, it’s still unfair and dishonest to those around them who have to deal with being lied to for their entire lives.

But by identifying these 7 warning signs of someone who’s living a double life, you may get a better understanding of the people around you… especially the person you’re living with! Continue reading to learn about what you should look for.

You never know what they’re doing with their free time

More often than not, partners who’ve been together for a long time have no idea what the other person’s doing on their days off or when they’re home alone. So, when you ask them general questions, you can follow up with a more specific question.

For instance, you can say, “How did your day go today? Did you do anything special?” Or “Did you see that game you wanted to see?” You can even make up scenarios that will prompt a different answer, like jokingly saying, “My cousin thought they saw a car that looks like yours.”

If you always get a generic answer, you can try to dig a little deeper. If your significant other begins to get restless or annoyed when you calmly ask these questions, it may indicate your suspicions of your partner living a double life.

They have strange boundaries

We all know that it’s healthy to have a few boundaries in relationships. But does your partner set limits that seem unreasonable or extreme?

If they’re trying to separate you from the rest of their life and can’t clarify why, they probably have something to hide. Here are a few examples to look for if you believe your partner is living a double life:

-Being unwilling to discuss specific topics, like their finances or past
-Refusing to add you on any of their social media accounts
-Won’t allow you to meet their friends, family, or colleagues

They refuse to answer direct questions

If you want the answer to where your partner was, who that person is, where the money from your savings account went, or anything else that you find odd, a spouse that’s living a double life usually has a wide array of diversionary tactics to present you with.

They may make you feel guilty with a comment like, “Let’s not ruin this lovely day by talking about that,” or become stubborn by stating, “I don’t have to explain myself to you or anyone else,” or even try to intimidate you by saying, “If you keep asking me about stuff like that, I’ll just leave, and then you’ll have to pay for everything on your own!”

Refusal to answer simple questions can also come into play with the marvel known as gaslighting, in which they use certain tactics to make their loved one sound absurd.

So if you express apprehension about something, they might reply with, “Oh my god, you’re so paranoid,” or “You really need to start trusting me.” No matter what, though, make sure you do a gut check after you ask a question like this.

Do you feel pleased with the answer you received, or do you feel ridiculous for asking? They may even do something more extreme like fake an illness to distract you from the fact that they’re living a double life.

They refuse to let you include their name on any legal documents

If your significant other absolutely refuses to have their name on any type of legal document, it could indicate that they’re hiding something.

They may even go as far as to refuse to have their name included on any of their children’s legal documents, including their school information and birth certificates. Owning or renting a home will likely put you on a public record.

So those living a double life will likely avoid these kinds of things by asking someone else to put their name on the lease or staying with friends or other family members.

They’ll also choose to use cash as a payment method as often as they can for anything since cash is pretty much untraceable.

They won’t let their devices out of their sight

If your partner is living a double life, you’ll notice that they’ll usually be overprotective of their devices. For instance, they may:

-Turn off their phone when you enter the room
-Demand privacy when using their laptop or phone
-Refuse to let you use their phone, no matter the reason
-Regularly delete their text messages, emails, and browsing history
-They may even have a secret second phone which you know nothing about

They travel a lot or disappear all the time

A person with a job requiring a lot of travel, including an airline pilot or truck driver, shouldn’t automatically be suspected of living a double life.

However, if your spouse is in a position like that, they have a higher chance of leading one, and those prone to deception are drawn to those jobs.

According to the author of 7 Smoke Signals: Your Man Is Living a Double Life, frequent travel is the biggest cover for a male with a second family. So watch if he checks in with you at the same time every day when he’s away.

And what happens if you try to switch up the routine? If he always calls you first, he could be trying to stop you from calling him because he’ll be “occupied” later. Try getting in touch with him when he least expects it.

If you get a negative reaction like, “Why are you bothering me right now?” then that’s a red flag that something could be up.

In particular, watch out for men who claim to be part of some secret military operation or in the CIA and give the excuse that their whereabouts are “top secret” if you question where they’ve been.

They’re often highly paranoid for themselves and anyone around them

In today’s world, harmful and dangerous things happen daily. So, it’s only natural to expect someone to be cautious of everything.

But, if the person in question begins to demonstrate levels of paranoia that get in the way of daily activities, this may reveal to you that they’re trying to hide something… Maybe their living a double life?

For instance, you might notice that they start getting angry or paranoid when they have to be outside for too long. Or, they may go out of their way to mask their voice or hide their face.

You might even detect that they only go places on certain days, even if they’re accessible all week, or they refuse to go unless it’s essential.

If these things happen, and you don’t see a logical reason, it may be a warning sign that the person in question is keeping something a secret from you… like, say, a double life?

Have you ever been in a situation where you suspected your partner of living a double life? Please feel free to share your thoughts on the matter in the comments section below.

And if you liked this article, we highly recommend you also read about the Controlling Woman Red Flags: 7 Key Indicators of a Manipulating Personality