On this episode of DETANGLED
I have friends who were always afraid that their partner might be having an affair. They were generally on guard, ready to fight, and suspicious all the time. It’s safe to say that although I experienced this when I was 18 years old, I still think that cheating is the worst thing that can happen in a relationship. If you’re afraid that your partner is unfaithful, here’s what you should know.
Have you ever been afraid that your spouse might have an affair?
It’s true that, as beautiful as love is, it doesn’t last forever. While some people say that when you have to put in a lot of work to make the relationship stable and happy, it means that there’s something that is just not right, so the couple must break up and move on.
But that is not true and you sure know that. Every relationship needs work, and if both partners are willing to put it in, everything can go smoothly, although some bumps might appear along the way.
However, what can you do when you notice that your spouse doesn’t seem to care about your life as a couple anymore and you’re left trying and trying all alone, but all your efforts are in vain?
Speaking of that, people decide to let go of a relationship for many reasons, such as being bored, craving something new, or meeting somebody else. Are you afraid that your significant other might be having an affair?
We’ve talked to a few experts about all the signs that your spouse is cheating, so if you want to discover them, read along with us until the end of this article. Is your spouse having an affair? Let’s find out!
1. They avoid their phones
You might start to worry if your partner consistently ignores your texts or calls you leave on their phone. Let’s be honest, all of us are busy, but if their SOs call throughout the day, most people can take a short break from what they’re doing to talk to their loved ones, especially if the call is important.
Do you remember that at the beginning of the relationship, when you and your lover were together, neither of you was tempted to look at the phone? You were so happy to be in each other’s company that you typically forgot to even pick up the phone and check if there were any urgent messages or calls.
Well, unfortunately, the same rule applies even if they have an affair. They enjoy the company of the person they’re with, and they forget that you might be calling or texting them.
You can keep track of the moments you reach out to them, and if each time they don’t answer, it’s best to ask them what happened. Maybe they’re busy, and they’re not allowed to be on their phones. Don’t make assumptions until you’ve had an honest conversation with them.
2. Missing money
It’s common for married couples to share financial resources. However, if one spouse begins making withdrawals without informing the other, this might become an issue. You should ask your significant other about the whereabouts of any missing money from a joint account if you notice any major changes.
This might sound like a little too much, but if you think they’re lying about the way they spent the money, you can ask for proof, such as bills or receipts, and verify their claims. At the end of the day, that’s your money too, right?
3. They don’t share details of their day
When they come home from work or from the places they spend their time during the day, people tend to share all sorts of information about how their day went. They tell you what they did, who they met up with, and where they went.
If they have an affair, things change and you 1st notice this in their attitude. They either lie to you and invent all sorts of things to cover up what they actually did, or they simply become quiet and refuse to answer your questions. Of course, there’s also the possibility that they only answer with short words, saying that their day was fine but that they feel tired and need to rest.
If you think that they aren’t being honest with you and might be having an affair, it might be better to have patience and pay attention to their behavior in the following days. When you’re really sure that something might be going on, you can then confront them and find out the truth.
4. They bring you a lot of gifts
It’s not unusual for partners to bring each other gifts and surprise one another. It’s an act of love and care that is very much appreciated by couples. Have you ever heard of the guilt of a cheater? Experts say that it typically occurs when one of the spouses has an affair and feels regret for their action.
They can’t tell you what they’ve done, even if they’re sorry, because they’re afraid that you might break up with them. They might be bringing you flowers, gifts, chocolate, cooking your favorite food, taking you out on dates, and so many other things.
They act like this to cover their tracks or to assure you of how much they love you, so you won’t suspect anything. If they make sure that they treat you nicely and you’re happy, they can go on about their lives without feeling guilty about lying and having an affair.
5. They pay more attention to their looks
Generally speaking, there’s nothing wrong with paying more attention to the way you look. Whether someone decides to start a fitness journey, try a new makeup routine, or eat healthily, these things can bring them a sort of happiness and motivation and boost their self-esteem.
If they do that for health reasons or simply because they want to put more thought into their appearance, it means that they’re motivated to try new things and to improve and grow.
However, if your partner never talked to you about their fitness goals and you notice that they suddenly want to get in shape and are very focused on their physical appearance, that might be a red flag.
If they have an affair, they’re more likely to spend some extra time getting ready for the day, and if you ask them why there was such a sudden change of heart, they might not know what you answered, which could definitely raise a red flag.
6. Your problems are “gone”
Every relationship has certain problems, whether they’re big or small and that’s something all of us try to work on. People have disagreements, make mistakes, don’t know how to deal with different situations, and end up fighting – sounds familiar? But there are couples who decide to give their relationship a 2nd chance and try all sorts of things to solve the issues.
It’s not that your problems are really gone, but your partner simply doesn’t want to make an effort anymore, which is even worse. They don’t care whether you remain together or not because they aren’t as involved as they used to be.
This can happen for many reasons, such as being tired of always trying to solve conflicts, not caring about the partner anymore, or having an affair.
When they find someone new, they don’t care about what you used to bother them with because they’re simply not there. They focus all their attention and feelings on that affair, and what happens outside that relationship is not their business.
7. Your bedroom life is different
If one of the spouses has an affair, your bedroom life is more likely to change. Experts say that there are 2 ways changes can occur in your relationship: your partner doesn’t want to engage in any physical activity, although you want. The reason why they act like this is that they already get in somewhere else with a different person, which means that they don’t have to do it with you too.
The second thing that might happen is for your partner to have more desire to spend time between the sheets. Whether it’s the guilt of the cheater for having an affair or simply taking care of your needs so that you won’t suspect anything, pay attention to any major changes in your relationship because they might say a lot about where things are going.
…How would you react if your significant other were to have an affair? Share your thoughts with us. And if you think that there are other indicators that a partner isn’t faithful anymore and actually has an affair, leave them in the comment section.
As I’ve previously said, cheating is a horrible thing that can happen in romantic relationships and is very hard to deal with. If you experienced an episode in which your partner wasn’t faithful and now you don’t know what to do, I recommend you this book because it will help you understand what you’re going through and it will give you tips on how to move on.
…If you need a bit of help in your love life, our experts are here for you! Check out this article to discover their best tips: 10 Ways to Find Love After Divorce!