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If Your Spouse Forgave You for Cheating, DON’T Do These 4 Things

If your spouse forgave you for cheating, read more and find out what to never do!

If you are here reading this article, you’ve probably had to deal with infidelity. You might be the one who has committed the infidelity, or maybe you are the one who was betrayed. If you are in the first category, then you should know a thing or two about what to do if your partner forgave you for cheating.

Once infidelity enters a relationship, it is tough to rebuild trust. But sometimes the person who has been betrayed decides to forgive, and the relationship continues. One thing is true, though: things will never be the same. Many times, people find it difficult to talk about what happened, and the feelings of shame, pain, anger, and humiliation remain and will further affect the relationship.

Statistics say that 54% of Americans reported that they have experienced cheating. This is a huge percentage, and the best approach when cheated on is empathy. We know that the first thing anyone will say to you is to never make up with the cheating partner, but you know, there is no one-size-fits-all solution.

Read on and learn how to navigate this journey. What should you never do if your spouse forgives you for cheating?

forgave you for cheating
Image By KinoMasterskaya From Shutterstock

1. Refusing to talk about the “unspeakable things”

Even if your partner forgave you for cheating, this does not mean you have actually talked about what happened. Or you discussed it, but maybe you haven’t done it properly. And it is ok since things like these take time and courage, but postponing this discussion will build up anger and frustration. You don’t want any more of this.

Be sure that your loved one has many questions to ask you, and the best thing you can do is talk with them about them. What happened, and why did it happen? These things should not remain unspoken.

Chatting is something that can profoundly hurt the other person, and you should be completely aware of it. It is a normal reaction for them to want to know more about what happened, and it is ok to answer their questions as long as you feel comfortable and don’t feel like they are crossing any boundaries.

It is true that you might never feel comfortable speaking about what happened, but try to put yourself in their shoes and see things as they see them. We know that they forgave you for cheating, but is everything alright now?

Most of the time, even if they forgive you for cheating, it is not like your relationship is suddenly repaired. If you don’t try to solve the problems, they will not simply disappear on their own. Maybe this will surprise you, but see infidelity as something that exposes the true state of your relationship.

When discussing this matter with your partner, you don’t have to go into detail, but speaking the full truth is an essential part. This can help you decide what will happen to the relationship.

2. Not understanding what forgiveness means for your partner

So, your partner forgave you for cheating, but what is forgiveness? You might believe that once the infidelity took place and your partner found out and forgave you, all the work was done, but this is not what happens in reality.

Forgiveness is a whole process, and it can have numerous back-and-forth stages. This is normal because the hurt is still there, and both partners should release it. Even if your partner forgives you for cheating, there is still a lot of work to do.

Sometimes, when the betrayed partner takes back their cheating partner, they will start to punish them through surveillance and pointed remarks. And this might go on for a while and be understandable behavior at the beginning. But if this happens after a while, something is surely not working. If your partner keeps treating you badly even after the dust has settled, you might consider a breakup.

But it is important to understand that they feel hurt because of your infidelity, and in the process of forgiveness and reconciliation, conflicts will still appear. This is why communication is important.

Be aware that punishment is not the way to go, and if your partner is expressing feelings of anger and hurt towards you, this type of behavior is damaging and will just be a burden to your relationship.

3. Not admitting guild

Maybe your partner forgave you for cheating, but you still cheated. You have betrayed them, and probably now they can’t trust you the same way they used to. The first step is obviously to apologize, but this will not be enough.

Even if they forgive you for cheating, you will need to be completely honest and tell them all they need to know. As we said, you can spare the hurtful details, but what is essential is to tell your partner what the reason is behind all of it. What made you cheat in the first place?

Talking about the root of this problem is essential, especially if you are together again and wish to make this relationship better than it used to be. And yes, before saying that this is not possible after barely, you need to know that for some people it can be, and they might have a much better relationship than the one they had before.

Embrace a calmer attitude, and take the time you need to talk with your loved one about all that happened. And when we say to take your time, we really mean it. There is no need to rush the discussion, so what you can do is take a whole day just for this, or maybe a whole weekend.

forgave you for cheating
Image By Jacob_09 From Shutterstock

4. Not being open for the next chapter

You know all the fireworks from the beginning of the relationship. You were able to visualize your future together, and everything glowed with possibilities. This is a nice and intense feeling, but once the boyfriend becomes a part of your relationship, things will not be the same anymore.

Well, it is true that things will surely change, but you need to keep your mind open to new possibilities. After your partner forgave you for cheating, that initial spark might be gone for good, or at least seem like it.

But always remember, there is a post-infidelity life, and both of you should work towards it. All of the lies, suffering, fingerpointing, and guilt have a toll on the real thing, but if you want to stay together and follow the right steps, you can rekindle the flame that once was.

Have this mindset that is all about setting the relationship free from the past. You should be patient and work it out, despite all the guilt and shame. These feelings will be with you on this ride, but you don’t have to be afraid of them. Instead, you should face them and talk about them with your partner.

If you want to learn more about cheating and how it affects relationships, this book can be a great start: Cheating in a Nutshell: What Infidelity Does to The Victim (Asked, Answered and Explained)

You should also read: 8 Taboo Relationship Practices That Can Actually Benefit Your Union

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