A Note From The Author:
Nobody is perfect. And in every relationship, there are many moments of both highs and lows. But no matter what type of relationship you are in, or if you’ve been together a week or three decades, there are certain boundaries one shouldn’t cross. And there are certain ways your mate should NEVER speak to you. So if you notice a pattern in your relationship after reading this article, it might be time to consider whether your partner is the right one for you.
The relationship between men and women can be tricky!
Women are complicated creatures meant to be treasured. But no one’s perfect, and sometimes, the limits of their patience can be tested beyond what’s practical. We all have triggers that can send us into a tailspin of resentment, annoyance, and some good old-fashioned rage.
Many of these hot buttons come in the form of off-handed phrases that, on their own, might be harmless. But in the context of gender politics, it can be very risky.
This list will seem familiar to anyone who either is or has spent a little time around women because they hear these things repeatedly. We’ve compiled a list of the top 8 things a man should never, ever say to a woman and the perfectly logical reasons why it’s such a bad idea!
Nr. 1: Is It Your Time Of The Month?
You should never, EVER, blame anything on a woman’s menstrual cycle. She’ll consider it a low blow and unfair. It’s a biological process that they don’t really have any control over.
Even though it IS true that this time of the month makes women a bit weepier at sad movies or a little more likely to eat an extra slice of pizza with chips on the side, it doesn’t mean they’re “overreacting” when a man is being mean.
Assuming a woman’s human emotions are simply a function of her monthly cycle is the most insulting assumption you can make about a woman. It undermines her feelings and lumps them into an “irrational reaction” category, invalidating them about legitimate issues.
That time of the month doesn’t turn women into aliens. So men should never blame their periods.
Nr. 2: You’re Acting Crazy!
This is another big one, folks! Chances are, if you think a woman is acting crazy, she’s NOT! She’s probably simply getting emotional in a way that’s uncomfortable for a man to handle, or he might not know HOW to handle it.
Unless your partner has been officially diagnosed by a professional, this isn’t a clever tactic. And even if she has, it’s just plain rude. For many women, hearing this is a huge trigger because they probably don’t recognize their behavior as anything but justified.
Now, we aren’t saying that women don’t lose control and have meltdowns every now and again. But we can tell you that it’s definitely not a good idea to label these incidents as “crazy.”
It’s like pouring gasoline on a fire that’ll inevitably consume you. So if you want peace, just say: “How can I make you feel better?”
Nr. 3: You’re a lawyer? I can’t believe it. You’re so beautiful!
Here’s the scenario: A man has just met a beautiful woman, and he asks her what she does for a living. She answers with something he might not have expected. A lawyer, scientist, doctor, or any other profession that doesn’t rely on her “looks.”
And instead of complimenting her for her smarts, the first thing he points out is how she’s too beautiful to be in that line of work. Why’s that so insulting, you ask? Well, what does her look have to do with her career preference?
Why “can’t you believe” that she can have an honorable career and still care about her physical appearance simultaneously? It makes men seem like they’re intimidated by alpha women when they say things like this.
Nr. 5: You did a great job… for a woman!
So the woman in your life accomplished something extraordinary. Maybe she ran a marathon, or perhaps she quickly whipped up a fantastic feast. You’ll obviously want to be a loving, supportive partner for her.
But the first thing that flies out of your mouth is: “You did a great job for a woman!” Now, in the year we live in, we’re surprised we even have to bring this up. But here’s why you absolutely CANNOT say that.
You said everything you were supposed to…except those pesky last three words. No one wants to be boiled down to a single part of their identity. Women, in general, tend to put up with a lot on a day-to-day basis.
So the last thing your partner wants is to come back home just to hear the same subtle condescension from her significant other.
Nr. 6: Calm down!
No one in the history of ANY spoken language has ever actually calmed down when they were told to “calm down.” This is a horrible strategy for diffusing a volatile situation. But people, especially men, continue to use it when a woman gets angry.
We all realize that, yes, it would probably benefit her in that heated situation to take a chill pill. Unfortunately, that’s not where her head’s at in that moment. Whatever she’s going through is what she needs to be going through. And you don’t get a say in how she feels.
Telling her to “calm down” is like giving her a verbal pat on the head and making it seem like she needs to be handled.
Nobody likes feeling that way, and by stepping into the role of “handler,” men invoke hundreds of years of patriarchy that suggest women aren’t capable of managing their own emotions. It’s a tricky loop that’s impossible to get out of.
Nr. 7: You’re really going to eat all THAT?
Well, yes. As a matter of fact, she IS going to eat all that. And the last thing she needs is you controlling what she decides to eat. Men don’t get to weigh in on what or how women eat. It’s just really not any of their business.
And when a man tries to make it his business, they’re immediately perceived as controlling. Unless your partner is about to eat something they’re allergic to and could possibly end up in the hospital, you should NEVER comment on what they eat.
This kind of behavior is fat-shaming at its best and is destructive to a woman. They face a ridiculous amount of pressure from every direction they look.
So, when they finally sit down with the person they love to enjoy a good meal, and that person makes them feel bad about what they’re doing, it’s not a good feeling. In fact, if you end up with a casserole over your head, you might deserve it!
Nr. 8: Is that REALLY what you’re wearing?
Even though most men think that this question is entirely innocent, it has the potential to ignite a firestorm of self-doubt and anger like you’ve never seen before.
You may just be genuinely curious to know if she’s wearing that, and you may have even asked in a neutral tone without any ill intent. But you might not get the reaction you were hoping for. All she heard was judgment, criticism, and you trying to control her.
Many women out there are very aware of the way they look, and they can be very organized about deciding what to wear.
So, if she walks out of the room after putting a lot of time and energy into figuring out what to wear, it’s because you’ve just completely undermined all the work it took to make it happen, even if it wasn’t intentional.
Unless she has toilet paper stuck to the back of her shoe, never, under any circumstances, criticize what a woman has on. Just don’t do it!
We hope you enjoyed reading this article…But it doesn’t end here! You’ll definitely also want to check out: 8 Secrets Men Wished Women Knew About Them