How to identify a manipulative person:
Manipulators are super smart, and they’re also great at using subtle aggression to get what they wish for. They are highly trained in deception, which could make it very difficult to spot their behavior in the first place. Here are some of the most important traits of a manipulative person:
- coercive persuasion: manipulative people could use bribery or induced rewards to get what they want. They are also prone to bullying. It could include threats, challenges, and requests, and it can either be verbal, emotional, or even physical.
- Conditioning: Manipulators sometimes “condition” someone else into forming some sort of relationship with them by using various flattering techniques, intimacy, or even sympathy. This is how they will get what they want in the future.
- Misusing authority: They could also use hierarchies or power structures to undermine the position of those who want to be in control.
- Fraud: Manipulators oftentimes lie to people, con them, or even exploit their trust.
- Conflict: They could create conflict by pitting people against one another. They won’t have any issues using existing weaknesses or conflicts within a group of people.
Here are a couple of relevant behaviors that you might recognize in manipulators:
- Lying by omission: manipulators could hide a significant portion of the truth.
- diversion: They could change the subject all of a sudden to avoid discussing various topics or even answering questions.
- Denial: Manipulators could deny doing anything wrong, especially when they are confronted.
- rationalization: They might try to justify and explain their behavior.
- Minimization: This is a very subtle blend of denial and rationalization. Oftentimes, manipulators play down other people’s concerns, especially when it comes to their behavior or actions.
- Guilt: Manipulators could try to “guilt-trip” people into doing what they want. Some of the most commonly used guilt tactics are passive, like using body language or even vocal tone. A more overt approach is saying things to intentionally make people feel bad.
- Shaming: Manipulators could use sarcasm or put-downs in order to gain power over their victims.
- Playing the victim: They will try to make others feel sympathy or compassion for them so they can get what they want.