When there isn’t a real “purpose” behind your friendship
By “purpose,” we mean a mentor/mentee or teacher/student type of connection. Now, we’re not saying that married people or people in committed relationships shouldn’t have friends other than their spouses.
But if you begin a new friendship with a married person, where you guys spend more and more time together, and there isn’t a purpose or a “good reason” why you’re spending all that time together other than the fact that you clearly can’t get enough of each other, then perhaps it’s an indication that an inappropriate friendship with a married man might be happening and you should be careful.
9 responses
My bff is a married man. I am married too. And we are bff for more than 25 years today. At first, my hubby were a little jealous but as time passes they became friends as so his wife. Actually we can get together in armory. Just as two couples of friends. No more trouble at all. Because when between a couple there is confidence and trust, everything is possible.
Fortunately I’m beyond that stage and not exactly sought after. I can say I had past experiences where what i did was innocent being friends with people. I had no idea the women had other ideas. It’s difficult situation being I was married maybe two years and wanted to no one but my wife.
I found when a woman decides she wants you she does things that just amazes you. You need to be careful with how you approach a friendship and just keep a safe distance meaning when you feel the heat being turned up put out the fire unless you want to go for the ride. Always consider what you have and may be loosing.
Sorry but after 3 marriages I can safely say that married women having a male best friend is not only improper but a great way for a wife to have some one to complain to and rationalize into a convenient affair and for the dude to find himself seduced by a version of reality only presented from one side. Uh uh bullshit!
Please. Stop with this division. I am married and have married women friends, including my publisher. Poor advice based on the idea all men and women are untrustworthy.
We deceive ourselves so much that we think we can get away with it. Somebody pretending to be friends with a married person usually wants more and they would want to get it.
They would rather they would have been the one in their wive’s or husband’s position. Deceit
Thank you!
I have a friend I would like to see from my past of over 40 years. Thanks for the straight forward advice…
Nothing has changed since the caveman could provide for the cavewoman. Women will manipulate what is best for themselves.
I loved this topic, although I recently am in a committed relationship now. I was friends with a married man, which I found out later he was married, things got wonky and he started to get too friendly and was making intimate remarks, as much as I wanted to get more involved, I started to think about his wife and started to feel convicted. The final conviction was when he sent me a Christmas gift. Totally inappropriate (sexy lingerie from Victoria Secret) I immediately felt for his wife, to me this lingerie should’ve been sent to her, I sent it back and unfriended him. It’s a blessing for me because I felt relieved about this situation.
Men and women cannot be “just” friends. Sooner or later one will cross the line.