A patronizing partner is a partner who is talking to you to form a position of authority, but this position is not a real one; it is all projected. This is why we believe that you should know the signs that your partner is disrespecting you.
If your partner is treating you as if you are inferior to them, this is not an ideal situation, but if you manage to catch the signs early on and tell them what bothers you, it might be possible that you both can work for a healthier relationship.
When you are treated with disrespect by your patronizing partner, you may feel like you are inferior and not capable of making your own decisions. You might feel less competent and less capable in general.
Read on and find out the signs that your partner is disrespecting you.
The difference between patronizing and condescending
There is a difference between being patronizing and being condescending, but the line is pretty fine, and this is why most people get confused. Remember that no matter if your partner is patronizing or condescending, they are both clear signs that your partner is disrespecting you.
When someone is patronizing, they act like they are telling you what to do or that you are wrong because they want to help you. There is this false kindness there that makes patronizing different from condescending.
When someone is condescending, they are more overt about the air of superiority. They are not hiding behind a wall of kindness or anything else.
1. Your partner assumes that you don’t know a lot of things
This is easily one of the main signs that your partner is disrespecting you and treating you with a patronizing attitude. Maybe every time you have a conversation, you can feel that they are treating you like you know nothing. They explain everything to you and tell you that you are lucky that they are there to help you.
But always remember that no one knows everything about you, and it is wrong when someone just assumes you know nothing.
When your partner speaks to you like they would to a child and assumes you don’t know anything, this could mean that they are disrespecting you, especially if they don’t first ask about your background knowledge.
It is completely normal if you feel like you should be able to speak to each other as if you were equals. After all, you are partners, and this is how a healthy relationship should work. Try to tell them that you would prefer them to ask you first if you have any knowledge about the subject before assuming that you know nothing about it.
2. They are controlling
Do you ever feel like your partner is trying so hard to control every aspect of your relationship? Do they make you feel like you are incapable most of the time? If you answered yes to both of these questions, this may be one of the signs that your partner is disrespecting you.
You know and feel like a fully capable human being, and if it ever happens that you need help, you know that you are able to ask.
Yes, it is nice to have a partner who wants to be there for you and always help you, but if they are turning into a control freak, this is not fun at all. If they intervene because they believe you are incapable of doing the task or cannot do it “right,” this may indicate that they are patronizing and disrespecting you.
If they are also making various comments about how dumb and incapable you are, be sure that they are patronizing.
3. They keep interrupting you
Oh well, we are all guilty of interrupting our partners from time to time, but if your loved one keeps interrupting you every time or almost every time you talk, there might be a problem. This is one of the signs that your partner is disrespecting you, and you should be aware of it.
If they are a patronizing person, this type of behavior will not be something that sometimes happens; it will be one of their habits. When your partner always says their opinion while you are talking and disapproves of what you are saying, it is clear that something is not right, and this is a behavior that destroys relationships.
Consider this: When was the most recent occasion when you were able to share a whole story or an idea and your partner accepted it rather than using it as an opportunity to attack you?
4. They Always “Know Best”
We are sure that you know the type of person we are talking about. If your partner always knows best and you should follow every word they say because that is the right thing to do, then it is clear that this is one of the signs that your partner is disrespecting you.
For sure, you are able to come to a conclusion without someone being there to tell you that you are wrong. A partner who is constantly telling you that you don’t know how to do something and that you should try to do things better is a toxic person.
There are people who believe that they know the best way to do anything, and because of this, you should listen to them. But this is not healthy behavior, and if your partner is treating you like this, it is not a good sign. This is a giant red flag.
5. You feel undervalued by them
Generally, when you are in a relationship, you should feel that your partner is your biggest supporter. They want you to succeed and are there to hype you up when you need it.
But when your partner is not listening to your opinions and they believe that what you say can’t add any value to your conversation, this is one of the signs that your partner is disrespecting you.
Let’s say that you are planning a trip together, and you want to tell them about a few tips and tricks that you have discovered. Their first reaction is one of dismissal. They don’t want to hear what you say because they believe it is useless and will not help you in any way.
This is an extreme example, but things like this happen, and you should know how to recognize them.
6. They belittle you
It is great when your partner is willing to show you something new or teach you how to do something. Things like these help a real person grow and evolve. But if they are amazed and think you are less than them because you don’t know how to do something, this is one of the signs that your partner is disrespecting you.
Nobody knows it all, and your partner should not treat you badly just because you don’t know how to do a simple task. This happens; it is completely normal, and, after all, you can learn anytime.
If you notice that your partner bellies you and calls you out for not knowing something, this is an indicator that they have a patronizing attitude. Don’t allow them to treat you like this, and try to explain to them that what they are doing is not helping the relationship.
If you want to learn how to communicate better with your partner, this book might help you: Communicate Your Feelings (without starting a fight): What to Say and What Not to Say to Your Partner
You should also read Getting Over a Breakup? Don’t EVER Do These 11 Things