You and your spouse are in a happy marriage. Even more, if you ask your friends and relatives, they will say that you and your significant other are a match made in heaven. But is this true? You might feel like the answer is no, which is why we are here to share with you some of the most popular things cheaters do.
In most cases of infidelity, those who have been cheated on say that they noticed some signs but chose to ignore them or felt insecure. Many people don’t want to believe that their partner is actually cheating, and this is why they might blame everything on them being paranoid.
But in general, this is not the case. If you feel that something is wrong, you are most probably right. So, let’s see some things cheaters do and learn how to identify them!
1. Changes in their routine
Your spouse has a nice job that they love and that they go to almost every day. Great! Maybe you also have a job. Perfectly fine. But at some point, your partner starts to arrive home at strange hours. Maybe it is too late, or maybe it is too early. You might wonder what happened.
You decide to ask them what’s going on, and they tell you that this is a period when they will have more meetings than usual or that they have a lot of new clients that live further away. Ok, this seems reasonable, but you still feel like something is wrong.
This might be true. Dating experts say that a sudden change in the daily schedule of your partner might indicate that they are cheating on you.
Spending more and more time away from home and implicitly from you is one of the things cheaters do, and if you notice behavior like this, you should be careful.
2. They want to know your schedule
Since we started talking about schedules, let’s scratch this one off. If you notice that your spouse is suddenly more curious about your plans and wants to know everything about your whereabouts, you should know that that is another one of the things cheaters do.
If they have some plans that don’t involve you, it is easy to see why they would want to know where you are at all times. In this way, it is so much easier for them to go on with the plan and make sure they will not stumble across you.
Generally, when this happens, you might think that they are jealous, or there are even some folks who think their partner wants to know all that information because they are concerned for their well-being. Unfortunately, most of the time, this is not the case.
If your spouse asks you about all of the details of your schedule, they might want to meet with their potential affair without you catching them.
3. They’re overly protective of their phone
You two are having dinner together, and you notice something rather strange. Your spouse keeps their phone on the table, but it is placed face down. They have not done it in the past. You ask them why they are doing it, and they tell you that it is because they don’t want to be disturbed by the phone.
Them not wanting to be disturbed by the phone when they are dining with you is a great sign, but if you also notice some other strange things, this might be a red flag.
If they hide their phone, become visibly nervous when they are texting, and you approach them, or if they just treat their phone like it is Fort Knox, you need to know that these are all things cheaters do.
Experts say that this kind of behavior—being so protective with their phones—suggests that they are trying to hide something from you. If your partner is behaving like this, you might feel uncomfortable, and this is totally acceptable.
Try to have an honest conversation with your spouse and find out why they are acting like this. Transparency is key in any relationship, and if you want a solid marriage, discussing this matter with them is extremely important.
4. They seem disconnected from you
You and your spouse have been living under the same roof for years and years, but recently you started feeling like you were more roommates than soulmates. What happened, and even more importantly, what can you do about it?
Well, it depends, but if your spouse refuses to share with you how their day was or those late-night conversations are gone, you need to know that these are things cheaters do, and it might be a huge warning sign.
Besides the emotional disconnect, you might also notice a physical disconnect. Maybe they don’t hug or kiss you anymore, and in the worst-case scenario, they refuse to sleep in the same bed with you.
If you feel like your marriage screams out loud, “We used to be inseparable; what happened?” then you might reconsider the relationship between you and your spouse because it is easy to see that something is not working right.
5. They never get mad anymore
This one might seem kind of unusual because it is so unexpected. When you notice that your spouse never gets mad at the things that once annoyed them or that they show no emotional response at all, you need to know that this is one of the things cheaters do.
You might be thinking that they finally feel better about some things and that you are both ready to have a better relationship, but most times this is not the truth. Usually, when you notice that your partner never gets mad, this might be a red flag because it is a sign of emotional detachment.
Try to pay attention to the subtleties. If your partner is not getting mad at the thing they used to, it might mean that their emotional responses are channeled in another place. Remember that emotional engagement is a two-way street, and if one party is not involved anymore, it is clear that something is happening.
6. You have a gut feeling
Maybe you have heard this before, but when you have a gut feeling, it is a good idea to listen to it because it might be right. That means if you feel that something is not right about your spouse, this might actually be the truth.
If your gut tells you that your partner does things cheaters do, it might not be just you worrying too much. If you see some changes in their behavior or you admit to yourself that you have noticed the signs long ago and have brushed them away, it is time to reconsider this option.
The gut feeling is not just a paranormal concept that works in mysterious ways. The gut feeling is based on our ability to recognize patterns, and when you feel that something is not okay, it may be because your brain is warning you about some things that are not going as they used to.
Keep in mind that your intuition will always be your silent guide, and you should always consider what you are feeling.
If you want to learn more about communication in relationships, this book can be a good start: Love More, Fight Less: Communication Skills Every Couple Needs: A Relationship Workbook for Couples
You should also read: Happy Couples Say These 10 Things Will Bring You a Blissful Marriage
A sudden interest in frantically working out / attending a Gym for hours daily is another tip off, as perhaps is a change in hair and wardrobe. Insisting on a change of scented soap, shampoo or cologne (to match the lover´s scents and thus disguise the affair). Finding reasons to be absent, either for evenings, entire nights or perhaps longer periods, which could include starting rows and picking fights, necessitating a phony need for time alone “to think”. Hiding credit card statements and accusing their regular partner of having an affair (projecting guilt).