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6 Steps to Move On After Divorce

Read on and find out how to move on after divorce

To move on after divorce is not an easy thing, and people have their own ways of dealing with the sorrow and emptiness that remain after a major breakup. This is why a little bit of help might be welcomed. The advice we are about to share with you should make this experience easier and teach you how to deal with a failed marriage.

Grieving is normal; it’s natural; we all do it, but there is no need to remain trapped in misery. If your marriage ends, you still have a whole life ahead of you, and you should take advantage of this.

Hopefully, there are some things that can help you move on after divorce, and you are about to find out all you need to know about them. Keep reading and get ready to learn how to transform your life for the better.

move on after divorce
Photo by fizkes from Shutterstock

1. Learn about the stages of grief

I am divorced myself, and this is something that greatly helped me when I thought that the divorce was the end of my world and my life. I have an amazing best friend, bless her soul, who suggested I try and go to therapy. This turned out to be an incredible idea, and during therapy, I learned about the stages of grief.

I’ll tell you, for short, what these stages are. There are five of them: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Now, you don’t have to go through all of the stages in the same order. Sometimes the stages can overlap, or you can even skip one of them. This is not surprising, and it all depends on individual differences.

However, when you want to move on after divorce, it is useful to have knowledge about them, and it can help you understand that what you are going through is normal and will also pass. The grief you feel is temporary, and your life will be good again.

2. Be kind to yourself

It’s challenging to move on after divorce, and it’s also a traumatic experience. Recovering after heartbreak is one of the most difficult things you can do, but it’s not your fault. Always remember that.

Sometimes recovering after a divorce might feel like one step forward and ten steps back. This is not unusual. I also felt like this for a while, but in the end, things will get better, I swear. The scars will still be there, but you should integrate them as they are a part of you now. They are part of your story, and they will be part of your legacy because such big events and the lessons you learn from them mark you forever.

All the stages of grief I already mentioned are part of the healing process, and understanding this when you move on after divorce will make things easier. So, don’t blame yourself and just try to move forward.

3. Have a journal

During those hard times, keeping a journal might seem like a waste of time, but it can truly help you to move on after divorce. And this is not something that I say; it’s something that experts say, and there are many people who can back up this information with their own experiences.

When you keep track of how you feel, you can better understand those emotions. Also, you can get back into those moments and see how you used to feel. This is an exercise that helps you develop your emotional intelligence, and I believe it’s worth giving it a shot if you enjoy the idea of writing.

4. Exercise

Maybe you’ve heard this before: that exercising is great when you are sad. This is also something I’ve tried, and surprisingly enough, it worked. At first, I was skeptical about it, but after a few failed attempts to create a routine, I finally did it, and it felt amazing.

But how is this working, and how can it help you move on after divorce? Your emotional state is heavily influenced by your physical well-being, and because of this, taking care of your basic physical needs, such as getting enough rest, eating healthier food, or exercising regularly, can affect the way you feel.

This is why trying to exercise can help you better deal with your feelings and grief. The secret here is balance. While dealing with a heartbreak, try not to underdo or overdo caring for your physical health because this can cause harm.

You need to pay attention to how your body responds to stress and take care of it as best you can. A difficult exercise routine doesn’t mean you will feel better faster. Listen to your body and adapt your exercises according to what it is saying to you.

move on after divorce
Photo by SeventyFour from Shutterstock

5. Learn from the experience of others

When you try to move on after divorce, be sure there will be times when you’ll feel so heartbroken that it might become unbearable. Always remember: others have been in your shoes. And you might actually personally know a few of them.

Now, I know that the pain you feel is different from the pain of others, but considering that the context is the same, you can take advantage of this and try to talk with somebody who truly understands you.

Hearing other people’s experiences can be comforting because, first of all, you will definitely find yourself belonging to a group, and secondly, you can see how others dealt with divorce and learn from their experiences.

You can first try to talk with your friends who are divorced. This is the easiest way and is also what I did. If you want to go even further or if you don’t have any friends who’ve been through a divorce, you need to know that there are divorce support groups out there.

Also, another approach would be to read about the stories of other people online. This is an amazing strategy, but you need to find some reliable sources.

6.  Always learn from your own lessons

I’ve just told you that the experiences of others might help you move on after divorce. Indeed, they helped me a lot, but there is also one other thing you should consider, and that is that you should also remember the lessons life has taught you. Your own experience is even more important than the ones of others and is a good way to learn more about yourself.

Look within yourself, and you might be amazed by what you’ll find. Maybe you will find that you have the emotional strength to move on after divorce, as many of us do, but we are not aware of it.

At the beginning of the divorce journey, it is hard to realize what you are capable of because you are blended with all the anger, pain, and hurt, but once everything is done, you’ll see and learn so much about yourself.

Maybe you’ve never been through a divorce until now, but you’ve probably gone through other heartbreaking situations. Look back and see how you’ve dealt with them. This will help you and also remind you of your personal strength. You’ve overcome stressful situations before you are able to do it again.

If you want to learn more about how you can move on after divorce, this book might help: Coming Apart: How to Heal Your Broken Heart (Uncoupling, Breaking up with someone you love, Divorce, Moving on) 

You should also read: When Should You Break Up With Someone? 6 Signs

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