I don’t want to upset you, but these signs say you’re stuck in a situationship!
We’re so used to thinking that relationships are pretty straightforward: you get in touch with someone who seems nice, charming, and attractive, you go on several dates, and after a while, you either decide to want to commit to one another or you say goodbye and move on to someone else.
But hold on; things are a bit more complicated these days. You might have friends with benefits, where you enjoy physical intimacy without any commitment. Then there’s a situationship, where you’re not officially together but it involves more than just bedroom activities. You can connect; you have different conversations, but you don’t talk about where things are going, so things can be murky.
Sometimes, a situationship is only a transitional phase as you get to know each other, but sometimes you don’t move forward and you notice that you’re stuck in a situationship. How can you know where you stand? Read this article to find out!
1. You’re not part of their life
As you start dating someone, you begin to know their favorite things, such as their favorite coffee shop or the pastry they like most. You might go together to their favorite restaurant, you meet their friends and family, and you’re mentioned on their social media platforms.
When time passes but none of these things take place, it’s a clear sign that you’re stuck in a situationship. Of course, there might be multiple reasons why this happens, so although it might be uncomfortable, I recommend you make up your mind regarding how you’d like things to go and then have the DTR talk (define the relationship).
2. Things don’t progress
Each relationship moves in its own way, so don’t fret if things don’t move as fast as you’d like. However, if it’s already been long and you’d like things to move further, you should expect certain milestones.
For instance, you could have dinners together, spend time together on weekends, meet each other’s friends and family, go together on a trip, and decide to become exclusive. When none of these happen, it’s a red flag that you’re stuck in a situationship.
3. You don’t go on dates
Courting each other is a key part of dating. Taking someone out shows you’re proud of your relationship and committed to it. If your special someone always prefers hanging out with friends over spending time with you, it’s a red flag. This issue needs to be addressed immediately
4. There’s no future talk
When there’s never a future talk, it’s a clear sign you’re stuck in a situationship. Of course, you probably won’t make future plans when you’ve only been with one another for three months, but simple things like deciding what restaurants you’ll check out the next week, when you’ll meet their friends, or when you’ll go on a trip together are normal things that should happen.
If none of these are part of your conversations and you’re never a part of their plans, it’s a sign they don’t expect you to be part of their lives in the future, so watch out.
5. Everything’s superficial
When things always stay at a surface level, it shows that the one you like isn’t that interested in you. If someone truly likes you and wants you in their life, they’ll take the time to get to know you or share personal things about themselves.
Without allowing you to see their vulnerable side and also without connection, emotional intimacy, and trust, you can’t take things further. These are some of the most important things for a beautiful and romantic relationship, so if they don’t exist, you can be certain you’re stuck in a situationship.
6. Plans aren’t really plans
This demonstrates a lack of effort and time put into getting to know you. It’s a clear sign that they don’t care about you or the relationship. Even those who are more spontaneous in their approach to dating will plan a date ahead of time if they want to make a good impression on someone or if they want to take things to the next level.
Do you have someone you’ve been seeing for a while, but you don’t go out? It’s not about the time in the bedroom either; it’s just somewhere in the middle. If the answer to these is yes, you’re stuck in a situationship.
7. You didn’t have the DTR talk
Every relationship reaches a turning point where it needs to be defined. Do you have any additional dates? Do you feel a romantic connection with me? What is your opinion on monogamy? Would you like to be the only one? Most people try to avoid this subject as much as they can, but would they do so?
It’s odd that after three or six months of doing what you do, no one has brought this up. It’s not a great sign, and you might need to be the one to initiate that conversation if you’re hoping to turn your situationship into a real relationship.
8. You feel bored or anxious
The inconsistency of not receiving regular texts, phone calls, or dates might eventually wear you down and cause anxiety. It’s not a good feeling, and boredom might result from simply hanging out at each other’s homes without any romantic involvement. What’s the point in having a steamy time in the bedroom, talking about things, but not going in the right direction?
These feelings might indicate that you’re stuck in a situationship and that things aren’t headed in the correct direction toward something more fulfilling. Think about what you want, and don’t be afraid to bring it into conversation. Even if you don’t want the same thing, at least you know the truth and can move on from this.
9. Are you even a couple?
Their buddies don’t know who you are. Their family is unaware of your existence. You don’t appear on their social media accounts. You’re not seen in public. They don’t allow you to share photos with them online. It makes sense in the early stages of a relationship, but eventually, it starts to show where you stand. It’s a red flag, trust me!
10. They don’t want to be your special event date partner
You find yourself alone at holidays, weddings, family meals, and other gatherings where you wish you could go with someone special. Being unable to bring someone you’re romantically attached to with you is a reflection of your respective status in their lives, meaning you’re stuck in a situationship, and I know it doesn’t feel good.
What can you do?
Situationships can work occasionally, especially if you’re searching for something light. Still, both parties must understand each other and agree on the same thing. It could be time to start a DTR conversation if you’re beginning to lose patience and start falling for them. You have to ask to find out. If you want to make things easier, you can use this game. It’s perfect to break the ice. Try it, have fun, don’t be shy, and remember that you’re incredible, no matter their response!
Do you know any other signs that you’re stuck in a situationship? Let us know in the comments below! If you find this article helpful and would like to check out something else from Detangle Love, here’s a good post for you: Here Are 10 Benefits of Being Single
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