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6 Ways to Date Long-Distance in Your 50s

While we’re all prone to thinking that long-distance relationships are more of a young person’s game, especially when it comes to those career-oriented folks who are just starting out, it’s nothing but a wild misconception.

Nowadays, people who are over 50 are getting increasingly tech-savvy, and they also deeply value their independence, so long-distance truly works like a charm for them. As we get older, we might realize that long-distance relationships could actually play to our advantage, so let’s uncover the truth about all the misconceptions surrounding them!

Now that we also have online dating, many people meet potential partners far away from home. So, do long-distance relationships actually work? And if they do, how do you do that? Does it even become easier or harder along the way?

things women want in bed, signs your partner loves you long-distance
Photo by My Ocean Production from shutterstock.com

Do long-distance relationships work?

Well, to know the answer to that, you first need to know if you would be okay with a long-distance relationship. If the answer is yes and so is your partner’s, then it can definitely work. But you also have to adapt a certain look to various factors.

For example, for how long would you be happy to be in a long-distance relationship? For some people, the answer is a couple of months; for others, it can be years. Or is one of you planning to relocate for work, and you won’t be able to join them?

Why are these questions so important? The older we get, the less we are open to changing countries or relocating. Some people prefer living in separate households, for that matter, too. However, is it OK to have different homes if it takes five hours or more to get to each other’s places?

If the two of you share the same vision as to why you prefer being in a long-distance relationship and know how long you’re ok with being in one, it can definitely work.

How to make a long-distance relationship work

Long-distance relationships, like any other type of relationship, work mainly because the parties are willing to work on them. Here are six of the most important signs you’re in a great relationship:

  • You speak each other’s love languages.
  • You support each other’s goals.
  • You understand and support each other’s emotional needs.
  • You understand and support each other’s individual desires.
  • You try to apply positive reinforcement over nagging.
  • You don’t take each other for granted.

Now, since we established the six go-tos for a successful long-distance relationship, let’s delve into each one of them:

Speaking each other’s love language

According to Gary Chapman, we relate to our romantic partners through different love languages. In order to feel loved and show love, someone needs to speak your love language, at least partially.

Here are the main five love languages you might use to express your love and appreciation: quality time, physical touch, acts of service, words of affirmation, and gifts. If your love language is quality time, then you feel loved when your partner also spends quality time with you.

Taking the time out to go for a walk in the park while having a nice conversation is definitely spending quality time. However, jogging next to each other while you’re both in your own worlds and listening to your music is not the same thing.

Supporting each other’s goals

It’s quite hard to pack a lunch for your partner, especially as they set out on their weekend hike with their friends. However, over the phone, you can easily support their goal by encouraging them and letting them know that, as soon as summer comes, you will be happy to see them set off on their hike. Choose to communicate like this instead of highlighting how you won’t see them on their precious work days.

The truth is, you and your partner might have some goals together, but also as individuals. You can talk about this to create room for improvement in your shared lives. Sharing the same vision is the foundation for making your lives together blend beautifully.

Understanding and supporting each other’s emotional needs

If you’re a big fan of surprises, would you consider surprising your long-distance partner with a visit? Or, in fact, sweeping them away somewhere for the weekend? Truth be told, it sounds ideal. But what if your partner doesn’t like surprises?

People who need safety as their main emotional need won’t always appreciate having their plans thrown up in the air, especially if they don’t know there’s a new plan. They will likely ask for a chance to get their head around it before it actually happens.

Since we’re at it, it’s worth mentioning that there are four primary emotional needs to take into account: safety, experience, value, and achievement. Every emotional need comes with different attributes.

Those motivated by achievement are generally more driven. Some want to climb mountains; others want to become school governors. They love places and things that give them a certain status symbol. Also, people are driven by value and love to know they’ll get quality in return, especially if they invest their time and money into something. They also love tapping into good deals of any kind.

Understanding and supporting each other’s individual desires

To fully understand your partner’s sexual desires, you first have to feel comfortable enough to speak about them. Because here’s the thing: respect for one another and constant communication are paramount.

Understanding one another also comes from communication, the kind where you prioritize understanding over judging, comparing things to your own life, or even solving the other person’s issues. For most people out there, intimacy is about having a positive relationship.

By complementing each other and treating each other with respect, you feel that the other person respects and desires you. Besides, by making an effort to dress up, act sexy, and send each other steamy messages, you can also set the mood.

Expert Relationship Insight, signs your partner loves you long-distance
Photo by Ground Picture at Shutterstock

Choosing positive reinforcement over nagging

When you say, “I’m so happy when you call, it’s been a while. It really puts a big smile on my face seeing your name on the screen.” is way more effective than nagging your partner for not reaching out as much as you would like.

When you express your irritation in a hostile manner, it sets the tone for fewer calls. Trust me. You have to find an effective way to explain your wants and needs. When they’re properly taken care of, make sure you lavish the person with a lot of praise. It’s way more effective than constant nagging.

Not taking each other for granted

It’s worth mentioning that there might be days when you don’t wake up with your partner bringing you coffee. There might be many days when your partner won’t be around. If you manage to keep that in mind, it will make you forget all the minor annoyances and focus on the big picture.

It will also make you treasure one another and lavish each other with a lot of praise. Even more, realize that your partner is always changing and evolving. Don’t just ask how their day was; get into the details.

Ask them what they learned and if they have any new insights. Because here’s the thing: when you get a new piece of clothing, you just love it. You wake up every day to look at it. But a few months down the line, it just becomes another piece of clothing in your wardrobe. The same is true with relationships: you have to constantly refresh your admiration for one another.

Conversation is very important for long-distance relationships to work.

When you’re far away from each other, holding hands isn’t on the table. However, you can video call on Skype, Zoom, or WhatsApp and spend time together, as long as you focus on having stimulating conversations.

The first part of this requires listening. When your partner speaks, don’t pepper them with a ton of questions, assume things, or compare it to your own life. Listen and ask clarifying questions.

Now, it’s worth mentioning that when it comes to long-distance, it’s mandatory to try and find new ways to spice things up every now and then. That’s why we recommend you try this amazing bond touch pair of bracelets for couples. They’re the perfect go-to for long-distance couples!

If you’re interested in reading more, here’s what you can try next: 10 Most Common Things Men Usually Lie About

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