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5 Reasons Why Spouses Cheat in Retirement, According to Studies

On this episode of DETANGLE

 

Are people really cheating more in retirement?

According to studies, yes, people are more prone to infidelity after they hit retirement age. But why is this happening? What makes them cheat on their long-term partners?

You would be surprised to find out that your marriage is not completely settled once you’ve been married for more than 15 years and you and your spouse are both retired. Most people think that if such a long time has passed since they got married, their only worries will be how much money they have and if they will be healthy enough to see their grandchildren grow up.

You have most likely already overcome the most difficult challenges in your life, and you do not anticipate dealing with marital infidelity once you reach retirement age. In reality, reaching this milestone can actually put a lot of stress on your relationship, which might lead to infidelity.

Read on and find out why people who hit retirement age are cheating.

The structure of life changes

You probably remember all of those days when you were daydreaming about the time you would retire and finally be able to live the life you always wanted. In all of the scenarios, you and your spouse are content and ready to move from the city to a more peaceful, quiet, and serene place. You will adopt two dogs and a cat and live the rest of your days happily and peacefully.

But this is only a fantasy. When you retire, all the structure you used to have in your life is gone, and if you don’t have a plan about what to do with all of this free time, problems might arise in the future. When people have nothing to do, they become bored, and when they are bored, a void might be allowed to grow.

You’ve probably experienced this before. We are talking about that awful feeling when nothing makes sense, when our existence is just a joke, and escaping this situation is just an illusion. What can you do if this is happening to you? Probably building a new routine is the best advice that we can give.

The problem with this whole change in the structure of your life is that it will also affect your relationship with your spouse. This can lead to various problems in your marriage, and cheating is one of them.

spouse
Photo by Prostock-studio from shutterstock.com

Various body changes

There is no denying that aging brings many changes and challenges, many of which affect our intimate relationships. As the number of candles that we put on our birthday cakes gets bigger, so does the number of obstacles we have to face.

In the case of women, menopause is the biggest culprit here. It comes with dramatic changes in the levels of estrogen, and this can cause a lot of ladies to have to deal with some side effects one of them being decreased libido.

Men can also observe a decline in their libido after the age of 50. Yet, the precise cause is not clear. Studies show that erectile dysfunction is the main side effect that can impair a man’s intimate relationships. This dysfunction can also lead to impotence.

So, as we can see, both men and women go through massive changes as they get older, and this can also bring a lot of conflict and unhappiness. Because of these differences, partners might have mismatched libidos, and if left unspoken, this might lead to infidelity.

Meeting new people can bring new opportunities

There is a high chance of relocating upon retirement. And this is great because it can help you restart your life and have a fresh beginning. Amazing things can happen when you are exposed to new opportunities. After all, now you have all the time that you need to do whatever you wish. All that time you dreamed about during all of your working years.

Some might even dare to call it the prime time of our lives. And this is true, your golden years might be some of the best years you are going to experience. But with a myriad of opportunities comes great responsibility.

Let’s say you and your spouse relocate to a small, gorgeous seaside town, and you are lucky and become part of a nice community of people. There are a lot of game nights and even more sunny days on the beach. You become friends with those people. Great friends. Your life is wonderful.

But one day, you start to see some changes in the way your spouse acts around you. Your relationship gets colder and colder each day that passes, and you can’t understand what is happening. Wasn’t your life finally the one you’ve always wished for? What can go wrong?

You see, this change of scenery with all of the great things that it brings can act as an eye-opening experience for many of us. Perhaps this breath of fresh air made your spouse realize that they are unhappy with you and would prefer to be with someone else.

And this is completely normal. Things like this always happen, and all we can do is adjust to them. There is no need to be afraid of change; you have to embrace it, no matter your age.

spouse
Photo by fizkes from shutterstock.com

A lot of insecurities and the fear of the great unknown

As we grow older and older, if we do nothing about it while we are still young, all of our fears and insecurities become a definitive part of us. Maybe it is a little bit harsh to use the word “definitive,” and it is true that you can still change things about yourself even if you are not young anymore, but it might be harder to do so. It all depends on your ability to accept this change in your life.

Another aspect of aging that we cannot ignore is the unbalance it can bring into our lives only through the fear of the unavoidable. We might not be thinking about it in our 20s, but after we retire, this fear can become present in our day-to-day thoughts.

For many people, this can be devastating, and because of this, they might try to cling to their youth by having an affair. That is why communication will always be the cornerstone of every relationship.

Routine and boredom

You and your spouse live together and share everything, from money to life experiences. Isn’t that great? Absolutely! Having someone by your side is an amazing experience and can make your life more enjoyable. After all, we are social creatures, and connecting with others is part of our nature.

But, after years and years of spending your life together, boredom is another natural feeling that can occur. You probably are not working full-time anymore, and that means that you and your spouse will be home most of the time.

From time to time, you two are going to have fights, and sometimes staying under the same roof can become unbearable. Living together is an art that not all of us can master.

The best solution for this would be to do activities on your own. Find a hobby or whatever you enjoy. Having some time alone is beneficial for you and also for your spouse.

Boredom is a real reason that makes some people search for an affair outside of their marriage. And we get it. A new relationship can be really energizing, but this is not the right way to make boredom disappear.

If you were the victim of cheating, this book can help you understand more about what happened to you.

You should also check out: 5 Ways to Fix and Save a Broken Marriage

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