Do not fall for their games and become the other woman in his life!
Feeling like you are more of an “other woman” than the most important one in his life?
Modern dating is more similar to a minefield than it resembles how we once used to date. With the rise of social media and dating apps, it can be harder to get back into the dating game after a separation.
Despite this, there are still success stories out there of people who have managed to find their second chance at love, so there is still hope.
Even so, there are still bad actors there, and while you may be thinking that you have found your new forever happy ending, you may just be the other woman.
An alarming study has discovered that 42% of Tinder users are either already in a relationship or married! And yet, these people are still playing with other people and using them.
Since it can be extremely easy to fall for these charming bad actors and their games, we have gathered the most blatant signs you are the other woman in this life and how you can tell!
Remember that while these are tactics that are more commonly used by men, there are also women who are using the exact same tactics!
Keep on reading to discover if you are being kept as a backup or a side quest and if your instincts are right!
1. You only have a little time to spend together.
Despite what many think, the men who end up two-timing women are not stupid in the slightest. They are quite intelligent, but they are using their intelligence in the most despicable way possible.
These men are aware that if they spend a lot of time with you, they will end up raising your expectations, and they will have to spend more time with you. Since you are the other woman in their life, they will make sure to keep expectations from you at a minimum and that you will not end up demanding too much of his attention and time.
A good way these men make sure of these things is that they limit the time you spend together; you do not see each other frequently; it generally happens only once a week, maybe twice, and it is generally because they are too busy at other times.
Since they are using you as a backup and an affair, despite your not being aware of it, you will not be the most important part of his day and routine. He will have to jumble everything that life generally throws at all of us and then make space for you too. This can easily manifest in not being able to meet up for more than a couple of hours during the week, and it does not seem like he makes much effort to meet up with you. There is always something else urgently eating up his time.
The most glaring signs are infrequent dates that often have long periods where you do not see each other and long gaps between any attempts at meeting up.
2. He more often than not disappoints you, and you do not expect much.
Disappointment can manifest in all of us in different ways, but in this case, it is the type that keeps happening. It may be the simple fact that he keeps letting you down, and because you are infatuated or even in love with this man, you are letting it go, no matter how many times it happens.
You may have been brushed off, your dates end up being more times canceled than happening, he keeps disappearing for periods, or any other way in which he treats you that leaves you feeling frustrated and unwanted.
This type of disappointment is common when it comes to being the other woman, as this is a tactic that these men employ, and it is oftentimes after they know they got you.
You may have ended up so used to being disappointed by him that you do not expect much, and when things work out well and in favor of your relationship, you are extremely happy and grateful.
They purposefully starve you of their attention so that then they do the bare minimum and you are over the moon; he generally does not text you over the day much, so when he does, you’re experiencing these butterflies in the stomach all over again.
Let’s be candid; this is no way to be treated, and even if it was not a true sign that you could be the other woman, it is still a huge red flag!
3. He hasn’t introduced you to any of his friends and family!
Another glaring red flag that you may be the other woman is that he never bothered to introduce you to his friends or family. If anything, it seems like you have never met anyone in his personal life.
Sure, it may be because he does not have a lot of family and you are “taking everything slow,” or he may claim he does not have a good relationship with his family and he doesn’t “want to talk about it.” However, you could have met some of his friends already.
You may not have been seeing each other for too long, but oftentimes they string you along by pretending that you are going to be the end game, but you are taking things slow. This is a red flag, as no matter how much you are trying to take things slow, you are still going to integrate into each other’s lives.
Not to mention, if you have already introduced him to your circle of friends but he keeps making excuses as to why you cannot meet him, it is another red flag. To put it simply, he does not want to include you in his daily life, which means that there may be something he is hiding.
And if you are indeed the other woman, then imagine how much gossip would surround him if he were to introduce you to his friend circles. Moreover, it would be difficult to make sure everyone kept his secret.
The line in the sand is pretty clear to us; if you have been involved for quite a while and he keeps being secretive about his private life and friends, insisting on just being the two of you, then you should consider that you’re not the only one in his life!
Being stuck as another woman is a hard realization to come to, and this type of betrayal is hard to get over. This is why we recommend that you read this book, which will aid you in overcoming any negative feelings, love yourself, and help you pinpoint these types of schemes faster.
4. Stay-in dates seem to be the norm.
To be frank, we are huge fans of casual dates. There is something about the intimacy you get and grow in if you end up spending the night together, cooking together, and then watching a movie on the sofa, cozied up together.
Not to mention, it is also a great way to segue into a more steamy night if you are both up for it.
However, if it seems like there are way more stay-in dates than go-out dates, you should start to ask some questions. Sure, it may be that it is more convenient, but it also seems like he does not want to be seen out with you.
It is one of the indications that you are the other woman. Why are you not going to more restaurants together? Why are you not planning more activity dates outside of your home? When was the last time you went to his place?
These are all questions you should ask yourself, and if they seem suspicious, consider that he is cautious not to get himself into sit-down situations of having to explain who you are to people he knows.
Keep an eye out; these red flags are sometimes hard to see until you get an inkling that something may be wrong! Do not accept to be the other woman!
If you are just not getting into the dating world again after going through a separation or divorce, do not worry! There are good people out there, and you can have a great relationship with someone you meet online. However, make sure you do not fall prey to this silly relationship advice that would hurt your chances of finding one!