“They ghosted me” is a common thing nowadays. What are the reasons why your crush ghosted you? Read the following lines. 

You went on a date, everything seemed fine, you had fun, and the other person was interested in knowing you better; they even said the magic words, but somehow, suddenly and out of nowhere, your crush ghosted you.

What to do, what to do… You didn’t do anything wrong, or at least you don’t know that because they didn’t have the guts to tell you, and now you’re left hanging because you have no idea what actually happened that determined them to behave like that.

In today’s world, in which technology occupies a top place in our lives, online dating has become more and more popular. And while it may be super nice and convenient to know (or at least think that) before you meet, it can also have quite a few drawbacks.

Ghosting is one of them, and this is happening to so many individuals that it has become a topic worth discussing. Before going further, you must remember one thing: nobody but absolutely nobody deserves breadcrumbs instead of full and honest love, and even if the rejection is very painful, you might want to take the experience as an example of what to avoid in the future when it comes to love partners.

Understanding the reasons why your crush ghosted you and how to respond to this situation may help you move on and recover from the so-called breakup.

They aren’t emotionally mature

You probably heard a lot about this term lately, mostly because it has become so common in the past few years. One of the multiple reasons why your crush ghosted you is because they’re probably not mature emotionally. They can’t understand that everything you do can and might affect you and your feelings. People with low or zero emotional intelligence aren’t “moved” when a person is trying to express that their actions hurt them. In most cases, people like this had parents who neglected them or who told them that other people’s feelings don’t matter as long as they are good.

They don’t want to hurt you

One of the most common reasons your crush ghosted you is because they don’t want to hurt you. Maybe they don’t really feel a connection between you two, or they did, but now not so much, and having the courage to talk about this isn’t always present in people.

According to various studies, unfortunately, many people rely on this method simply because they don’t want to tell others outright that they’re not a good match or that they don’t love them.

It is the “new normal”

Some individuals ghost because they think it’s the standard method to break up with someone they met online. This view is backed up by the fact that several essential dating app features—like removing a match easily—make ghosting easier.

Convenience is another major factor in people’s decision to ghost someone rather than have a straight conversation. Since ghosting is a practical and less aggressive approach than any other, why bother to speak or answer a text anymore?

They have an avoidant or insecure attachment style

When you approach too closely, your crush who has a fearful-avoidant attachment type may alternate between seeking and avoiding intimacy. The avoidant attachment type often retreats inside their shell, or “turtle mode,” which might show up as ghosting. This may serve as a safeguard to keep their heart safe.

If you end up ghosted by a person like this, it’s certainly not your fault and you may try to discuss the situation but if you don’t receive any answer stop trying. People who have this attachment style are pretty hard to communicate with both as romantic partners or simply friends and it’s their job to solve their issues on their own.

There’s no alternative solution

Before choosing to ghost someone, some people have attempted alternative methods of breaking up. Psychologists report that those who have ghosted others have disclosed that they did so because they felt helpless to deal with the other person’s refusal to acknowledge their grounds for rejection.

They probably have low self-esteem

In addition to influencing how you view and treat yourself, having high self-esteem can also influence your enthusiasm to pursue your goals and your capacity to form wholesome and healthy relationships. Poor self-esteem can be a significant issue in many aspects of life.

That’s why someone may self-sabotage by unexpectedly deciding to ghost you right when you thought things were going well if they don’t think they deserve someone like you.

If you’ve been ghosted by your crush, it’s pretty hard to cope with the whole rejection feeling. Some days you will feel like it’s hard, other days harder, and you will want to completely remove them from your life, starting with social media, and then slowly things will go back to normal.

Since it’s hard and not many individuals know how to cope with the feeling of rejection, a book that’s based exclusively on this might help you understand the core reasons for ghosting and see that mainly it has nothing to do with you. Dealing with Rejection: How to Respond to Deep Hurt is the book I was talking about and it is available on Amazon for $5.24. 

They got what they wanted from you

There is no possible way to put this mildly, but if your crush ghosted you, it may be because they already got what they wanted from you. Unfortunately, people use people professionally, financially, or intimately. Once they get what they want, they will disappear suddenly with no further explanation.

If this happened to you too, maybe it’s not easy to say that this person wasn’t exactly into you in the first place, so in the end you didn’t lose a potential lover, more like a toxic person without whom you’re better off.

They aren’t interested in commitment

It’s harsh, I know, but unfortunately, not many people are interested in long-term relationships, and it might take a bit to realize that. However, it would be perfectly fine if you don’t like, match, or are simply not interested in someone to tell them that without disappearing.

In the case of somebody who ghosts people, they might think that they don’t owe you an explanation because you’re not something serious for them and probably they never wished to be.

How to stay away from being ghosted

Try being honest about your expectations, schedule more in-person activities, ask more meaningful questions to get to know them, and—most importantly—understand your love language the next time you meet someone.

Although it may not be about you, getting ghosted might certainly seem that way. There are a ton of reasons why your crush ghosted you, ranging from poor communication skills to mental health issues. Simply put, you should probably avoid being with someone if they won’t allow you the space to talk about their feelings.

You know what they say—no answer is still an answer!

Have you ever been ghosted by someone? Tell me in the comments how it felt, and most importantly, did you try to reach them out afterward?

Related article: 12 Phrases That Show Lack of Emotional Intelligence.