Not sure if you’re a hopeless romantic? Keep reading and find out!

All of us want to be in a healthy and loving relationship, but there is a big difference between this and always thinking about romance through a fairytale lens. Desperately hoping to find that one true romance indicates that you might be a hopeless romantic.

At first, it might not seem like a big deal, but this approach to love is sneaky and can easily turn dangerous. It can lead to some major relationship issues, and if you are not sure if you are a hopeless romantic or not, you should stick around and wait to discover more.

This phrase has been used since 1855 in Marie Price La Touche’s novel Lady Willoughby, in which a mother makes an effort to convince her young son not to go after a “hopeless, romantic attachment.” But the earliest published mention of this precise term is Georgian Stories, a 1926 short story anthology in which the protagonist George is characterized “as a hopeless romantic.”

All you need to know is that love is more complex than it seems, and fairytale endings and soulmates don’t really exist if you don’t make an effort to be a better partner. So, let’s see if you are a hopeless romantic or not!

Always being in a rush

If you find yourself eager to embrace love at first sight every time this occasion appears in your life, you might be a hopeless romantic. What we are trying to say by this is that there are some people who are never taking things easy, and they want exclusivity and labels as quickly as possible without even knowing their partner at all.

This urge to dive headfirst into a relationship comes from a fear of missing out, and it can easily be described as a feeling that if you don’t act right now, you’ll surely lose that person. This tendency is exactly what prevents hopeless romantics from dating around and exploring different relationships. They become emotionally invested too soon, and this is not ideal.

Moving too quickly can lead to disappointment since many times the reality does not match the fantasy. They fall in love with an image of that person, which is created by them in their minds. Also, when they realize that things are not working out, they will believe that their chance to find love was lost and they will remain alone forever.

Love at first sight is real

This concept is popular among those who identify as hopeless romantics. Most of these people are convinced that one day they’ll meet their soulmate and instantly feel an undeniable connection. If you are a hopeless romantic, you might describe this feeling as an indicator that you and the person you are now in love with were meant to be together from the very beginning.

It’s not uncommon to feel this new connection so strong that you decide there is no need to invest time and build a real foundation for your new relationship. You are there for all the butterflies, and you are convinced that you’ve found the one and the sparks will never go away.

Idealizing someone you’ve just met is not a great idea because all of your expectations can make you project many big feelings on a person you don’t really know. Love at first sight can feel exciting but can set you up for disappointment if your perfect romance fails.

You are a bit obsessive

If you are a hopeless romantic struggling with obsessive tendencies in your relationship, this is not an unusual occurrence. Many times there is a pattern that manifests itself as excessive affection, constant attention, or even possessiveness.

You might find yourself amazed by your displays of love, and a few examples include showering your partner with gifts or planning elaborate surprises. This might sound sweet and all, but it can put a lot of pressure on your partner and overwhelm them.

Unfortunately, this is not stopping here. The obsessive tendencies of a hopeless romantic are also about constantly thinking about the partner, needing frequent reassurances, or even experiencing jealousy over small things.

If you do these things, it means you are afraid of losing your partner, and you will do everything possible to secure your bond. You want them in your life, and you swear that this time you won’t let them go.

Now, being excited about a new relationship is not something bad, but being obsessed is not helping your relationship grow faster. Maybe you imagine that this is the way, but in reality, a healthy connection needs time to grow stronger. Just have patience.

You catch feelings too quickly

This is a true sign of being a hopeless romantic! Once you enter a new relationship, you dive headfirst without thinking about the repercussions that might appear. You want that love, and you want it all now! You are aware that you’ve always been too eager to fall in love, but after all, this is just you, right?

Hopeless romantics are not waiting for the feelings to develop naturally; they are living a fantasy and projecting these fantasies onto their partners. The problem is that if you do this, you are overlooking important compatibility aspects such as shared values and goals. Focusing on this idealized version of your partner is like believing in a lie, and in the long run will lead to conflicts and possibly breakups.

This is not the way to find lasting happiness in relationships, and you should try to understand your feelings better. Having strong feelings is not bad, but you can try to learn how to use them better.

All of your relationships are short lived

When you are a hopeless romantic, you might realize that all of your romantic relationships were extremely short, most of them lasting just a couple of months. Generally, they were great relationships until the spark faded. When the initial butterflies were gone, you started to feel bad, and you decided that there was no way this relationship would work again.

You love that honeymoon phase because there is all the thrill of any new romance. You are looking for that initial excitement because any new connection feels good and plays with the chemistry of your brain.

According to the therapist, when the initial high is gone, hopeless romantics often lose interest and start thinking about starting a new relationship with someone else. This pattern leads to shallow relationships, and this is why you may never fully experience the deeper, more fulfilling aspects of having a partner.

We know you want to keep the thrill of romance alive, but in the end, this is what kills the relationship and easily leads to dissatisfaction. A deeper connection is the key to a healthy relationship.

If you want to learn more about relationships this book is a great start: Love Yourself First: How to Heal from Toxic People, Create Healthy Relationships & Become Confident

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