Sometimes, you have to say no.
You might find it a lot easier to sacrifice your own needs for your spouse’s well-being, especially if you do it out of fear of upsetting them. But it shouldn’t be like this.
If they ask for something that simply goes against your principles, disrespects your time, or even forces you to sacrifice something important, just say no. It doesn’t even have to be harsh, as you can learn how to express things assertively.
You’re not to blame for everything that’s wrong.
Have you ever been in one of those situations where the blame is solely placed on you? Your partner might unintentionally (or not) do this out of hurt or even guilt.
However, this behavior doesn’t mean that their anger is your fault. Don’t let them get rid of responsibility by manipulating your emotions. Try to acknowledge their pain and let them know you are there for them, but at the same time, assert that you will not accept responsibility for their actions.