Today in Detangle
My ex-partner was pretty easy to see through. Sometimes this is bad, and sometimes it is good. In my case, it was both. Bad because I was able to see that he was considering breaking up with me, and good because it helped me realize that our relationship didn’t work anymore. If you’re concerned that your partner may be considering calling it quits, this article is for you!
Breakups can be really difficult and painful, but sometimes you can see them looming. In some cases, your significant other could be dropping obvious or subtle hints that there’s a problem (or maybe several) in your relationship, which may or may not be worth working on.
Remember that these signs don’t necessarily mean your partner is about to break up with you, but they could indicate that your relationship is falling apart. If you feel like something is different or not working, the best way to figure out what’s really going on is to have an honest, open conversation with your loved one.
Here are 8 signs that could indicate your partner is about to break up with you!
1. Your partner no longer shares information with you
If your loved one isn’t feeling connected with or close to you, they may not share things about them in the same way they used to, and conversations with them may feel more distant and different than usual.
According to couples counselors, emotional intimacy begins to fade when one partner is unwilling to share important life events with the other. This is usually a warning sign that a wall is beginning to separate the two of you. While this doesn’t always imply that your loved one is planning to leave you, it may indicate that there’s a problem in your relationship.
Rather than pretending that everything is alright, experts recommend expressing your concerns in an open conversation. Tell your loved one you miss the intimacy between the two of you, and let them know you’re willing to work on the relationship if that’s the case.
2. They hesitate when you try to discuss the future or make plans in advance
If your partner was once open and comfortable with making long-term plans and talking about the future with you but suddenly doesn’t feel the same way, it may be a sign they are about to break up with you.
According to Kristie Overstreet, a psychotherapist and licensed counselor, this could indicate that the end of the relationship is coming. When this happens, it’s important to talk to your significant other about your concerns before making any assumptions.
“Try not to jump to conclusions and react without discussing them with your partner first,” Overstreet pointed out. She also added that these red flags may be caused by other factors. There’s a chance that your loved one might be struggling with some of their own problems.
3. Your future plans don’t line up
This usually happens when it comes to serious things like getting married or having kids. If your significant other says that they don’t want to get married, try to listen to what they are saying. Again, it’s crucial to openly talk about this kind of stuff.
Just because you’ve dated for years, you moved in together, or their family loves you doesn’t mean that your partner is looking for something permanent. For instance, if you know that marriage is important to you but your partner doesn’t feel the same, don’t get your hopes up thinking that they will eventually change their mind.
If you think that’s a problem, don’t try to ignore it. These kinds of major differences between partners usually don’t solve themselves by miracle, and you won’t want to have your loved one break up with you just because you haven’t dealt with the issue on time.
4. You feel like your partner is no longer interested in spending time with you
When two people start seeing each other, it’s common for them to spend a lot of time together. As they settle into a routine and the relationship, this thing usually tapers off a bit. This isn’t a bad thing, though.
It’s healthy for partners to have some time for themselves separately, but if your loved one seems to view spending time with you as more of a burden, then you two should have a conversation. According to experts, it’s important to spend time with family and friends and have boundaries, but if you feel like you’re just one task on your partner’s to-do list, it’s worth addressing your concerns.
Julie Williamson, a therapist, explained that it’s vital that partners have equal levels of commitment. Everyone wants to know that they can rely on their partners. If you start noticing that your loved one isn’t making you a priority or is pulling away, then this could be a sign they are about to break up with you.
5. Something’s telling you that things aren’t actually fine
Intuition, sixth sense, a feeling in your gut—you name it. Sometimes you can feel something is not right, but you cannot really tell where it is coming from.
According to Tone Coleman, a relationship coach, divorce mediator, and psychotherapist, if you feel like something’s off or has changed but you can’t put your finger on why, it’s worth talking to your partner to find out what’s happening.
If your significant other becomes distant, angry, or quiet, it’s usually a sign that they are uncomfortable and defensive about the subject. If that’s the case, you were right—something’s off. Go on and express your concerns; going silent won’t solve the issue.
6. Your partner doesn’t seem present when you’re spending time together
If your loved one seems somewhere else emotionally and mentally when you’re spending time together as a couple, your relationship may be winding down. If that sounds like your partner, you should ask them about their behavior.
Experts recommend using ‘I’ statements and avoiding being accusatory or whiny. Let your loved one know that you truly want to understand their actions better. Ask them directly if they’ve started to lose interest in you or want to end the relationship.
One more thing here: If you feel like you have to convince the other person to stay in the relationship, you definitely should let it go.
7. Intimacy isn’t what it used to be
Couples go through ups, downs, and changes over the course of a relationship. That’s perfectly normal and doesn’t necessarily mean that a breakup is coming. However, according to couples counselors, a change in how things are in the bedroom can occur shortly before a relationship ends.
Some people tend to have higher physical needs than others, but it’s part of human nature to need physical reassurance through hand-holding, hugging, touching, and kissing. If you start noticing any change in desire to connect, level of interest, or overall attraction, it may indicate that your partner isn’t as into you as they once were.
No matter what your needs are, it’s important to talk about them with your partner. This way, you’ll know whether it’s worth solving the issue or calling it quits.
8. You’ve been receiving more criticism than praise from your partner
According to Alisha Powell, a couples therapist, your relationship may be struggling if your significant other is starting to point out your flaws more and ignore your qualities.
This could indicate that things are off, especially if there’s a lack of niceties in your day-to-day conversations. If your loved one can’t pay you any compliments, or worse, isn’t nice to you, that’s definitely a sign that the relationship may not last much longer.
While we all have our personal issues that can affect our interaction with others, if this doesn’t seem just a phase, you may want to consider breaking ties with your partner or speaking to a trusted professional if you think the relationship is worth saving. Here’s a book that may help you understand better why we tend to sabotage our romantic relationships.
You may also want to read Is Your Spouse Having an Affair? 7 Signs They’re Cheating on You.