If you’re looking to meet the love of your life, I have something to tell you: these are important relationship deal-breakers for men!
It’s simple to fall in love, right? You’re in a crowded place, you make eye contact, and you find yourself drawn to each other like magnets until you realize this isn’t Hollywood. The part where you fall isn’t too difficult in real life. However, I can’t say the same thing about the love part. Everything gets more complicated when it comes to establishing a solid foundation for a relationship.
Maintaining a healthy and happy connection requires a lot of work, which includes identifying your relationship’s deal-breakers, setting limits or boundaries, and making an effort to meet each other in the middle. As we all know, each one of us is special, and my relationship deal-breakers could be different from yours.
Speaking of that, I was once chatting with my single girlfriends about the things single men hate when they first meet a woman or when they want to get serious with her. We decided to take things to the next level and talk to men about their relationship deal-breakers. And you know me: I love to spill the tea. So ladies, if you’re looking for a handsome gentleman, here are all the things that will turn them off:
1. Seeking attention on social media
Many of the men I’ve talked to told me that one of their biggest relationship deal-breakers is when a woman seeks constant attention on social media. Posting pictures and stories is common, but when she changes her profile picture every two days and posts hundreds of stories daily, probably revealing pictures too, it’s kind of off-putting.
The reason behind this, according to them, is a potential sign of narcissism, and while a little is good, too much isn’t. One of the guys I’ve talked to also told me that his respect kind of diminishes the moment he sees a middle-aged woman posting duck-face selfies every single day. He’s okay with these types of photos, but not every day, and not for the entire online world to see.
So, what do you say, ladies? Would dating a man who seeks social media attention be a relationship deal-breaker for you?
2. Phubbing
Have you ever heard this word before? It’s the behavior of ignoring a person you are with—typically a friend or your significant other—in favor of your phone. Besides being a form of disrespect (as long as it’s done for important reasons), studies showed that it might cause mistrust and feelings of exclusion in interpersonal relationships. This is one of the worst relationship deal-breakers for men, and experts have also discovered that higher phubbing levels are connected to unhappy marriages.
There’s nothing more annoying than having your phone out and continuously checking it while someone is sitting right in front of you. The biggest relationship deal-breakers are mostly related to a lack of respect for the other person, and checking Instagram during a date counts as one of them. This impolite behavior shows a lack of interest in the other person or a chronic phone addiction, which will negatively impact the relationship in the long term.
3. Being a VERY picky eater
Food is a love language for many people who want to build a relationship or community, and while being picky is no biggie, taking it to a whole new level sure is. Some men stated that sharing a delicious meal is a big part of a special date. So if you’re picking something from every meal you have in front of you, it’s not going to be pleasant for him.
And that’s not all: if you complain about everything that’s on the menu, whether it’s something you don’t like, too many calories, nothing healthy, or doesn’t look good, he might take it the wrong way. Experts say that being a picky eater could also be a sign that you’re particular in other ways too. And some men don’t want to date a woman who seems too rigid.
4. Always making assumptions
You probably already know this, but men say that one of the worst relationship deal-breakers is when someone makes assumptions. You might assume they don’t want to go out because you’re not attractive enough, or they only want to hang out with you because you have particular assets and so many other things.
Men say that when a woman makes assumptions about all the reasons why a man might be attracted to her, it can get old pretty quickly. While you might be correct with your assumptions, they prefer to be asked.
Experts say that making assumptions is also harmful because it might not be simple for you to connect with and understand other people. Moreover, assumptions are sometimes an expression of fear of rejection, and they can indicate a toxic pattern. The best way is to be honest with your partner, even if you’re scared you won’t like what they’ll say.
5. Loving drama
There’s nothing wrong with getting involved in a little drama here and there, but constantly gossiping or spilling the tea isn’t attractive to your man. According to the men I’ve talked to, guys don’t have the time, energy, or patience to keep up with your girlfriends’ or family drama, and if you’re way more invested in that than in the relationship, it won’t last.
6. Having a boring personality
Most people find intelligence to be attractive, so it’s a problem in and of itself if a male doesn’t want a smart woman. Guys like having someone to discuss ideas with, share plans with, or make them decide what’s good or bad for them and simply be involved in each other’s lives completely.
One common relationship deal-breaker for men is not having someone to chat with. They don’t like being with a human being who has a dull personality, agrees with everything, doesn’t have an opinion, and simply nods. On the other hand, everyone has their taste, so having an easy-going personality might be the dream for someone else.
The secret is to concentrate on finding a mate who shares your characteristics. And even if you don’t always agree with one another and have arguments, it’s part of the game too, and it’s fun. At the end of the day, what matters is that you meet each other in the middle, and you can make it work.
7. Being financially ignorant
Another relationship deal-breaker for men is being with a woman who isn’t financially responsible. They hate dating someone who doesn’t pay their bills, spends excessively, and lives from paycheck to paycheck, not caring for tomorrow or the future.
8. Not showing affection
Some women are more affectionate than others (and we don’t mean it in a steamy way). According to men, one of the most common relationship deal-breakers is not getting enough affection from their partner. They want to be hugged, kissed, and appreciated. They don’t always want to be the ones who initiate physical contact, but they prefer to be persuaded by their significant others. Would you like to date someone who’s always cold? Let us know in the comments!
What do you think about these relationship deal-breakers for men? Do you agree with any of these? Let’s chat in the comments! If you want to have fun with someone special, I recommend you check out this cute and lovely game! If you find this article helpful and you’d like to check out something else from Detangle Love, here’s a good post for you: 7 Main Types of Affairs and Their Impact on Relationships
I know that when it just feels right it IS. It shouldn’t feel like you have to work at it. I only had that once, right after my divorce, I met The One, but when he wanted to get married after only a few months, I got scared. I’d moved into his home, and felt that he would never let me replace his old cast off furniture, awful carpet or orange brocade drapes that came with the old house he bought. Now, 40 years later, I would give ANYTHING for a redo. I miss him so much and never found anyone like him. I have written to him and he never replied, so I have my answer.
THINGS don’t matter, people do.
I agree w/deal breakers 4, 5, and 7. I read about deal breaker #4, Making Assumptions, everyday whenever I read Carolyn Hax’s column. For example, an assumption might be, “He cheated, therefore he’ll cheat on you.” Baloney. How do you know the man you’re interested in cheated on somebody? Did you research that on Google or some other search engine? How do you know he didn’t get cheated on by the woman he was interested in? You don’t know, do you? As for Loving Drama, that’s for TV shows like reality TV. If a woman loves drama, leave me out of it, please. Dealbreaker #7, Being Financially Ignorant is important to me b/c I want the lady to have her own financial future planned out instead of depending on me. She should have her own credit cards, debit cards, investment account, retirement funds, and checking and savings accounts as well as knowing how to balance her checkbook. I would also would like a woman to tip better than merely 15%. If she’s doing that, then I’m checking out of the relationship b/c it means she doesn’t care about the hardworking service staff.