Are you in a platonic relationship? If yes, is this something bad?
“I feel like my significant other and I are just friends.” Does that sound familiar? Relationships are complicated, and often we find ourselves in situations that we can’t even explain.
For example, you and your lover get along incredibly well, but as time passes, you feel like something is missing. Something has changed, and maybe at first you were not sure what it was, but now you have a better idea about it.
You do groceries together, you hang out a lot, and you go on vacation. All of these activities seem to work better than before, but the physical intimacy between the two of you is almost nonexistent. At the start of the relationship, you barely managed to keep your hands off each other, but now, all that closeness seems to have disappeared.
Some clear signs indicate your relationship or marriage is feeling more and more like a good friendship, and we are here to help you discover all of them. So, what are you waiting for? Read on and see where your relationship is heading!
1. Public displays of affection feel awkward now
Holding hands, hugging, or even a quick kiss are acceptable ways people show how much they love each other in public, and you and your partner used to do this. You were not afraid to exchange a little bit of affection, even if you were in a social context.
Now, all of this feels forced and uncomfortable, and you avoid doing it or you simply stop doing it. Holding hands? No, thank you, especially when it is this hot outside. A little kiss? You don’t even think about it!
The lack of these displays of physical affection is a sign you are in a platonic relationship, and you both seem to enjoy more casual hangouts than intimate moments. As long as you both are comfortable with this, there’s nothing wrong with it. After all, relationships change over time. But if you feel like the platonic relationship is not for you, maybe you are not compatible at all.
2. Intimate moments are something funny
When your intimate moments become a joke or something you both can’t take seriously, it can be a sign that your relationship is shifting into more of a platonic relationship than a romantic connection.
Humor and playfulness are important in any relationship, but when your intimate time feels awkward or funny, this can indicate a lack of physical intimacy. When this dynamic starts to develop, you and your partner will treat each other more like good friends than anything else, and that spark you felt at the beginning is mostly gone.
If this is something that bothers you, the only solution is to discuss it with your partner. See what they think, and then you’ll be able to decide what’s the next step.
3. Dates? What are those?
Once you stop going on dates, this is a clear sign that the spark between you is fading. And when this happens, you can easily say that you are in a platonic relationship.
Remember when you used to look forward to dinners out, movie nights, or even just long walks together? When that is not happening anymore or you just feel like you’re doing these things with a very good friend, you need to know that this is a platonic relationship. These special moments have changed, and the bond you have is no longer a romantic one.
It’s normal for your routines to change, but if you feel like this lack of romance is not for you, the next step is to speak up about it. Try to find out what happened. You can begin by first asking yourself and then your partner.
4. Pet names are no longer a thing
You used to call each other “baby,” “honey,” or “love” all the time. You can’t exactly pinpoint when you’ve stopped doing that, but you are sure it is not something that will ever happen again. Why? It just doesn’t feel right. You believe that it is awkward, and doing it seems like the worst thing ever.
Pet names are the classic way couples express their affection, and this is no longer a thing in your relationship; it can be a sign that you are in a platonic relationship. You will never call a friend those names, right? Maybe just as a joke, but never something serious.
Feeling more comfortable addressing each other by your first names, like friends would, rather than indulging in those sweet little nicknames that couples typically enjoy, is not necessarily a bad thing. After all, this is just an indicator that the romantic vibe is missing. It’s alright that now you know what’s going on.
5. You have no expectations from each other
When in a romantic relationship, nobody has expectations anymore; this can be a clear sign that things have shifted into the platonic relationship territory. It’s true that too many expectations will destroy the bond, but no expectations at all might mean that there is not a real connection there and maybe not even commitment.
When you feel like expecting something from them doesn’t mean anything or maybe is too much, be sure that none of you wants to grow together as a couple. The romantic days are over, and you can clearly see that you are now in a platonic relationship.
Maybe the relationship feels stuck now when that natural give-and-take that is created by mutual expectations is missing. Congratulations! You have a new friend!
6. You just exist next to each other
If you feel like there is not a romantic connection between you and your partner and your relationship has a romantic vibe, just existing in the same place, you need to be aware that this is an indicator of a platonic relationship.
You do not acknowledge each other’s presence and simply live in the same house, but everybody does their own business. The passion is gone, and the emotional distance is making you feel like you are roommates.
Oh well, when this happens, you can be sure that you are in a platonic relationship. In a romantic partnership, it’s important to feel engaged and connected. When you are just cruising through daily life together and there is no intimacy and emotional depth, it’s a sign that things may have grown too casual.
7. You are the only one making an effort
Are you the one who finds places to dine out? Are you the one who is always taking initiative? Are you the one who is always trying to find activities for you two? If this is the case, you are the only one making an effort to keep this relationship alive, and this can mean that you and your partner are more in a platonic relationship than in a romantic one.
This is a big imbalance, and it means that you are the only one who is interested in the romantic side of the relationship. Maybe it’s not meant to be this way, and you will need to accept this. This is a dynamic that can lead to resentment and a feeling that the partnership is one-sided. So, you can leave or try to be just friends.
If you want to make the connection between you and your partner stronger, this can help you: Questions for Couples Journal: 400 Questions to Enjoy, Reflect, and Connect with Your Partner (Relationship Books for Couples)
You should also read: 8 Body Language Signs Saying He’s Not That Into You
This is definitely my current situation, I think it’s hard for a marriage/relationship to engage in intimacy when you’re a step-father or mother. Marrying a woman with kids, and taking over after the passing of the the 1st husband is the adjustment unless the wife and kids have had a safe grieving process and ready to move forward.