Dating a widower? Read this ASAP!
If you’re looking for a mate in your senior life, a widower can be an ideal choice! After all, they’ve already made a commitment in their lifetime that lasted, and they didn’t end the marriage by choice.
Statistically speaking, most widowers tend to have enjoyed married life and often marry again within a couple of years. On the other hand, widows can take up to five years to be willing to find love again.
But whichever way you look at it, you can’t rush into anything with dating a widower because you need to be sure they’re READY for love again. Grieving is a process that takes time to heal.
So how do you know if the widower you met or are already dating is truly ready for new love? Let’s identify the 5 red flags that usually indicate the widower isn’t ready for a serious relationship.
If they exhibit any of these tell-tale signs, it’s more than likely that they’re not ready to open their heart to you just yet.
They Won’t Tell Their Family About You
Have you been dating a widower for a couple of months, and you feel as though everything is going well? He talks about his late wife, but nothing too extreme. There’s only one small thing that’s bothering you. He hasn’t told the rest of his family about you.
Even though all his kids are in high school or maybe even older, he seems reluctant to tell them he’s dating someone new. If he’s hiding you from his children, being his little “secret” is not a positive sign.
It may just be a big fat red flag that he’s not ready to be in another relationship. You definitely need to have a talk with him if you’ve been seeing each other for more than six months.
Or you might just need to face that you aren’t a big part of his life. Perhaps you can handle this and wait, but we wouldn’t advise waiting too long!
Just a thought on some of your viewpoints – Unless you have experienced the loss of a spouse it is very hard to imagine how one will get on. First off – there is no end to grieving their loss. NEVER. You just learn how to live with their absence. Second – Grief is the price you pay for great love. We did not end this relationship by choice – they were taken from us and it is the worse kind of adjustment one will ever have to make in their lifetime, if they are lucky. I have already experienced 2 losses of ones I loved – first was the one I had a long term relationship with, the 2nd was at the beginning of what we hoped would have been a long term relationship. Both losses still ring in my head, heart and soul as if they could have just happened yesterday. Falling in love with a Widow or Widower is not for the faint of heart, but it could be the greatest connection of a lifetime.
As for not telling family or friends right away – perhaps they are avoiding judgement from them – as in “Isn’t it too soon?” Or the children accusing them of not loving their departed spouse. Whatever the case may be – grant them the grace to mourn and heal as their journey progresses – in their time – not anyone else’s. Thank you for the opportunity to respond
How somthing about dating in your 70’s
It’s terrible out there
Authored by a non-widow, or widower or divorcee then, tauting relationships with non-widow/er, as though those relationships, especially those divorced, are any more predictable…
I’m a 60 year old widower. We got married way too young. He didn’t love me and therefore, abused me. So, not everyone is the same. Not every widower is wondering what might have been. Not every widower is wondering how they will get on without them. I did love him, but have had horrible nightmares about him.
We divorced and got an annulment before he died. Still not sure how he died but I spend the better part of 8 years looking behind my back, wondering if he knew where I worked and if he’d show up to “finish the job” as he promised that horrible night he tried to kill me.
When I found his obituary one day after doing a search of his name on Google to see if it would show me his address, I was shocked.
But curiously, I felt like I was free. Free from worrying about him showing up one day and hurting me again or my family, as he said that he would hurt them too.
The stress was gone. But I still feel sad that he chose to make his life goal to hurt others. I hope everyone finds their soul mate. I have high doubts I will find mine.
Good luck and God bless you all.
Thank you for explaining. I am a widow and would like to find love again when I’m ready.