Do you hate your spouse for these things? 

You may be sure that occasionally your spouse will do things that irritate you if you are in a committed relationship. For instance, you are more talkative in the morning while the other one prefers to drink their coffee in silence, or they wake up irritated and you feel like they’re somehow against you.

Now you probably wanted at some point to have a conversation around these topics because they seem to have the same pattern. But when you tried to speak your mind the discussion never worked out? Your spouse probably reacts defensively when you share your concerns, which leaves you both feeling hurt, frustrated and puzzled when the argument is over because there was no compromise or closure. The following day is the same, and it gets tiresome.

However, nobody is perfect, and some things may bother us, it’s ok to hate your spouse for these things, but avoiding having hard conversations about it won’t change things for good. Let’s take a look at the most common issues that can lead to disputes between partners.

They always forget important dates

Your anniversary, a family member’s birthday, or that day when you danced for the first time. These things mean a lot for some people, including men and women, and it is a bit annoying when your significant other keeps forgetting them even if you bought them an agenda for that!

This “short memory” is one of the things that many people hate about their spouses, and while it’s understandable, remember that not everyone is like you to remember everything. The day may be saved without escalating into a major argument with a polite reminder or an early celebration.

They snore loudly

Having a restful night is crucial if you want to function properly the next day, so it’s okay if you hate your spouse for snoring out loud, and because of that, you can’t fall asleep. Nobody wants to wake up drowsy and annoyed before a full workday. Talk to your spouse about this and see what you can do, or consider separate bedrooms, earplugs, or a gentle poke during the night to your partner.

They’re always glued to their phone

In our world, everybody is connected to their phones, even when they’re sitting on the toilet. This addiction may become annoying if your partner pays more attention to scrolling on social media than you.

You can easily improve your relationship by setting boundaries on phone usage and prioritizing face-to-face conversations. Schedule a no-phone hour each evening after work or whenever you both agree to spend time together.

They leave the toilet seat up

If you’re a woman, it’s annoying to see this situation becoming a pattern. Honestly! It’s just a small gesture of civility that goes a long way. No matter how frustrating it is to see this happening every time you go to the toilet, instead of making a scene and starting a fight, you might try encouraging your partner to be more aware with a playful sign or a funny reminder.

They put empty food containers back in the fridge

If you’re still questioning if it’s ok to hate your spouse for these things, well, I bet this one will make you certain. Either their parents never let them do the dishes or take the trash out, but some people are simply clumsy when it comes to cleaning or house maintenance.

Picture this: You cooked a casserole for dinner two evenings ago, but neither of you was that hungry, so two remaining portions were carefully stored in a container in the fridge. Today, when you came home from work and checked the fridge, you noticed that your partner ate the leftovers, but the empty casserole was still on the fridge shelf. Why? Annoying, right?

How would you react in a situation like this?

They’re always late…anywhere

At first, it might not be an issue; I mean, it happens to the best of us, but what if some people are simply like that? If you must get somewhere in time, for example, to the theater or a concert, most probably you take the time to prepare to actually get there. But what happens when you’ve been ready for an hour and your partner is still putting make-up on?

Being always late can be annoying, especially if it interferes with your schedule, and that can lead to frustration and disappointment, leaving you feeling disrespected. It might be necessary to have a calm discussion on time management and the value of timeliness if you don’t want to pick a fight.

They leave their socks on the floor

…Oh, no! This is annoying for everyone, not only for those who suffer from OCD. Jokes aside, it might seem like a minor thing, and you may say that picking up a couple of socks isn’t a big deal; after all, they help me cook. But in reality, this can create clutter and chaos in your house, which can easily escalate into a fight.

Ask them nicely to put everything they want to wash in the laundry basket. Doing this will make everyone happy, and it will also make it easier to do the laundry each week.

They seem to hold on to the remote…and never let it go

Among all those annoying things a partner can do is hog the remote control and keep it in their hand for the rest of the night. What if the other person doesn’t like what you’re watching?  Although the conflict has existed since before our parents, it doesn’t have to. The idea is to compromise; consider switching up the evenings or allocating certain watching times for each of you.

Even if “it’s ok to hate your spouse for these things”, hate is a strong word. Maybe being annoyed fits better and communication should solve all the issues you both have. None of us are flawless, as I have stated before, and if you talk to them about it, you may find that they have things about you that they find annoying as well. So don’t be so quick to judge!

Especially in the early stages of a relationship, take the time to learn about one another’s requirements and develop communication skills. It’s all about making compromises. Living Nonviolent Communication is a fantastic book that provides valuable advice on managing anger, frustration, and other issues that often lead to conflicts with your partner. It’s available for $11.19 on Amazon.

They tend to overshare (a lot)

Some people are more open than others, and this isn’t exactly a bad thing because these people are usually better at communicating than others. However, if your partner begins discussing an ex and goes on a lengthy rant, oversharing a lot of details, it can become very annoying.

It could be essential to gently remind them that no matter how much you like listening to them, certain things are best left unsaid, especially if they happened in the past, without making a scene or coming off as jealous. You can set clear boundaries without being rude or disrespectful.

Related article: Are You in a One-Sided Relationship? Look for These 11 Signs.