Taboo relationship practice: Talking about your past
For many couples, talking about their love lives before they were together is off the table. They find this subject too uncomfortable or worry it would threaten their current mate.
But discussing past relationships shouldn’t be taboo, says therapist and owner of Therapy Charlotte in North Carolina. Let’s be honest… we all have pasts. And those experiences are what shaped the person we are today.
When couples allow jealousy, fear, or other insecurities to block out rich portions of their relationship histories, they might miss an opportunity to gain insight into the other person’s evolution: triggers, conflict style, and character.
Plus, how your partner speaks about their past relationships can offer clues about the kind of person they turned out to be. If there’s no responsibility or accountability, then there hasn’t been any growth, and the pattern is likely to repeat!
I find your article interesting. I am male age 56 my wife has decided that she is polygamous after 16 years of marriage. I am in shock and my world is turned upside down at this very moment. The same thing happened to my first marriage and we were married for 15 years. I am trying to make sense of it all. I have trust issues and I have a temper that I need to get into check. I am a Disabled Veteran and I am on disability so I don’t work but I do all of the house work and outside work. I also have ED so we have sex but without penetration. I was brought up as a Lutheran Christian and divorce is not an option but I did tell her that I don’t want our marriage to end and that if polyamory is the only option that I would consider it even though it goes against my beliefs. I am a jealous person as well. I am hoping you might have some information on this subject matter and that makes it might help me understand what I am going through. I have spiced things up in the bedroom and I am getting help from my Dr and will see a urologist to see if there is anything that can be done to help in that area. I am able to orgasm and I am able to satisfy my wife with other means that are very kinky and taboo. The last few months we have been fighting a lot she is constantly online chatting with men and being sexual she has lost 4 jobs in 6 months. I am confused hurt and feel disrespected. Any help would be greatly appreciated