Assess the circumstances
When dating a widower, taking everything slowly, highlighting deep conversations, and communicating are keys to allowing the relationship to progress at its own pace.
But because not all grief is the same, finding out how the former spouse passed away could shed some light on what you’re getting into. Sudden and unexpected losses cultivate more intense traumatic responses and have more pronounced grief symptoms.
And even when a widower is open to another romantic relationship, that doesn’t mean the deceased spouse has been forgotten entirely. The relationship never fades, which may be challenging for a new partner to accept.
Fred Colby, author of “Widower to Widower: Surviving the End of Your Most Important Relationship,” says that a woman who encourages a widower to share his story, including insight on his relationship with his spouse, will be much more inclined to have a successful future with him.
Generally speaking, widowers have fewer chances to tell their stories than widows because they usually have fewer close friends than women and reveal much less. So, they’re often more desperate to tell it when they have a listening ear.
Are you a widow and trying to form a bond with someone new?… Defend your date.
You might discover that once your family and friends learn you’re dating again, they may not treat this new man in your life very nicely.
The treatment might come in the form of constantly talking about the deceased husband in front of the date or a cold shoulder at family gatherings.
If you have family and friends that do this when you’re dating a widower, you should talk to them privately but lovingly and tell them that this behavior is unacceptable.
Think about it this way: If you wouldn’t let friends or family treat your spouse that way, why would you tolerate that behavior toward someone else, especially when your date could become your future spouse?
Don’t be afraid to defend them. If you can’t do that, you probably shouldn’t be dating yet.
We hope you found this article on dating a widower helpful. Be sure to share your thoughts with us in the comments section!
We understand that getting back into the dating game can be tough. This might help: 8 Dating Strategies for Senior Introverts
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